cj7 Reviews

Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story (2005 Video)

Disappointingly few laughs

[2/10 · 6 September 2005]

As a big fan of the TV series, I was very disappointed by this movie. It was like watching four bad episodes strung together; most of it simply wasn't funny, and it re-used some jokes from the TV series which was bad form.

I've found Family Guy as a series hilarious and a very funny show, but this film simply failed to deliver on all levels. Stewie seemed rather out of character, and for me there were no laugh-out-loud moments.

The writing and script of this movie simply wasn't up to par with the normal Family Guy standards, and many of the jokes that it does use are so obvious and predictable that they are almost "groan-worthy"; it simply doesn't surprise you with its humour in the way that the series normally does.

All in all, very disappointing -- if you're a fan of the series, don't watch this movie; it will only depress you.

American Pie 2 (2001)

Good movie - funnier than the first

[9/10 · 13 October 2001]

I was skeptical before going to see this film - I thought it would probably just be Pie 1 again, re-using all the same jokes, because comedy sequels don't work, do they?

How wrong I was - this is a hilarious movie, funnier than the original in my opinion. The second successful comedy sequel of the year (after the great Scary Movie 2) - things are definately looking up.

While it does rely on a couple of jokes from the first film, most of the humour is fresh, if sometimes sick... Sadly a couple of the main funny moments were spoilt because they'd been in the trailer - will the producers one day PLEASE learn to stop putting major spoilers in the trailors; the same thing also ruined Evolution for me.

The Ninja Squad (1986)

Possibly the best film ever?

[1/10 · 13 October 2001]

No - not by a long shot.

It is, however, a film of two halves. On the one hand, we have a Chinese drug trafficing film, where a ninja called Billy is fighting to save his family from the evil gangsters who are terrorising them. This is randomly interrupted by some Ninja fighting scenes, involving western actors with headbands saying "Ninja" - the idea here is that Ivan the Red, the evil ninja, is killing another ninja once a month.

Their ninja skills are very impressive, however, since they manage to kill their opposition without leaving even a trace of blood on the body or their sword. A more skeptical viewer might think, in fact, that the sword never even made contact with the enemy.

Finally, all I can say is "Dub good". Halfway through the film we are introduced to a random women with an awful Southern drawl, who luckily gets killed soon afterwards, but shows just how awful the casting of the voice actors was.

In conclusion, this film has got to be seen, if only to understand just how bad it is.

The Pumaman (1980)

So bad, it's actually quite good

[1/10 · 13 October 2001]

This has got to be one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. Granted, I was watching the Mystery Science Theatre's version - but even without, it has some classic comedy moments.

The special effects are *cough* awesome *cough*, and the main hero's skill of saying "I sense danger" just after being shot at by the enemy makes for some tense moments.

Worth watching just for the way the hero flies around - really measures up to Superman standards.

Scary Movie 2 (2001)

A bit short, but a great film

[9/10 · 14 September 2001]

Comedy sequels usually don't work, but this film is the exception - packed with laughs right from the start. It contains so many references to films like the Exorcist, Hollow Man, House on the Haunted Hill - you'll never get them all.

Much like the original, this movie does rely heavily on sexual humour so if you don't find that sort of thing funny, you may not enjoy it.

However, I thoroughly enjoyed this movie and would recommend it, particularly to younger adults. The only problem is it ends too soon.

Hard Boiled Killers (1980)

A film of two halves... and neither is any good

[2/10 · 15 August 2001]

This movie starts off with the main characters talking and introducing the plot. Fair enough - so does any movie. However, this goes on for over an hour (during which they do nothing but talk), by the end of which you'll most likely be asleep. This is made worse by the absolutely awful English dub, making it almost unwatchable.

About halfway through the film, the scene changes dramatically to a hospital, which is cue for an hour-long gun-fight. Now, there's nothing wrong with a gunfight in a film, and some of the scenes are very stylish - but the sheer length of the thing means that you'll be struggling to stay awake near the end. Since all the characters are wearing similar clothes, no-one really knows who is on who's side and it ends up as a all-on-all deathmatch, with people randomly shooting each other and the civilians.

Worth watching the second half for a laugh, but don't try and take it seriously.

Pi (1998)

Dull and disappointing

[2/10 · 8 February 2001]

This film starts out badly and doesn't get any better. For the first half hour we are forced to sit and watch as various mathematical phenomena are explained, which to anyone like me who doesn't really have an interest in maths would find boring.

The plot doesn't really develop anywhere either, and at the end of the movie you'll be left thinking about all the other things you could have done in that 90 minutes.