artfiore1 Reviews

M*A*S*H (1970)

Classic Basics, With a wrong turn taken halfway hrough

[7/10 · 14 June 2009]

Okay, here are the basics . . . .

1) A U.S. Army hospital unit in war-torn Korea in the early 1950s;

2) Wounded soldiers and civilians being rushed into the compound via helicopters, trucks and jeeps -- to be operated on by incredibly talented surgeons who, in their off hours, are womanizing party animals and who have little or no respect for authority;

3) Fine, dedicated, caring nurses;

4) Medical personnel, faced with the bloody, gory realities of war, act crazy to keep from GOING crazy;

5) A ranking surgeon, who is somewhat less than competent, is romantically involved with the by-the-book, strong-willed regular army chief nurse,

6) A commanding officer who is not exactly a born leader;

7) The place seemingly being run by a shrewd, but innocent young clerk who seems to know things are going to happen before they do.

8) War is Hell; The Army is stupid.

It's all brilliant, inventive, and very original.

Unfortunately, in this movie, something goes wrong following the establishment of the above-mentioned wonderful basics, and the film loses that wonderful feel at just about the mid point.

For one thing, the less-than-competent ranking surgeon is disposed of relatively early and much too swiftly -- taken away in a straitjacket following an altercation with one of his colleagues.

There is a completely absurd sequence during which the camp dentist -- an educated man, presumably -- wishes to commit suicide for no good reason and is actually fooled into believing that his medical comrades, following a "Last Supper"-like ceremony, have given him a pill that will do the job. He even gets into a coffin, believe it or not, in preparation for his expected demise. This is followed by his friends filing past him and, in turn, paying their last respects. The only thing that makes this ludicrous scene at all watchable, for me, is the terrific acoustic guitar and vocal performance of the "MASH" theme song, "Suicide Is Painless." The dentist, incidentally, seems to be neither confused nor surprised by the fact that he is still alive the next day. (Instead of dying after taking the pill, he had been helped through his "crisis" by a very kind and desirable young nurse.)

Not long afterward, the unruly-yet-skilled surgeons travel to Japan to play some golf and, oh, operate on a congressman's son and help a sick infant . . . along the way disrupting a hospital, drugging and framing a colonel, and telling off a snooty head nurse.

Eventually comes a much-too-long, totally-out-of-place scene in which the MASH unit hustles another army outfit in a game of football by bringing in a "ringer" and drugging the other team's star -- who inexplicably is oblivious to a needle being stuck into his arm after being tackled. Where the football uniforms, equipment, field, scoreboard, goal posts and referees come from is a mystery. Incidentally, during this segment, the aforementioned by-the-book, strong-willed regular army chief nurse is magically transformed into a brainless pom-pom girl, enthusiastically cheering the very maniacs who have been harassing and humiliating her throughout the movie . . . and pretty much getting everything wrong.

Add to all of this the fact that the "M" in MASH stands for Mobile, yet this particular MASH unit never moves even *once* during the entire film.

All in all, a beautiful original concept which got lost somewhere along the way.

Luckily for us all, a group of very talented individuals later took all of those great "basics" of this movie which I mentioned at the start of this comment and transformed them into just about the greatest television series of all time. When you play the TV series DVDs, and eliminate the chuckle track, you are treated to what this movie quite possibly could have and maybe should have been.

Asked to give this movie a 1-10 number rating, I gave it a 7 (5 for the movie itself, plus an extra 2 for giving the TV series its initial main characters, a setting, and a visual style).

Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004)

Those Who Can't Do, Criticize

[5 December 2004]

I consider myself a fair-minded, open-minded individual who stands *100%* behind *neither* the Republican nor the Democratic party. I do not believe it is possible to agree completely with any one political candidate or party on every single issue. The best, I think, you can hope for is to agree with a politician on maybe eight out of ten issues. Even then, if you do, and vote for him or her, you're still voting for two things you don't believe in. I was not for Bush in the beginning, but once he became my President, he became my President. And, I support my President regardless of whether I had wanted him to win or not win the office.

I was never doing cartwheels over Bill Clinton. Still, it bothered me greatly when I saw and heard a bloated windbag like Rush Limbaugh making a career out of mercilessly riding Bill and Hillary with such a mad obsession.

I kept asking, "If a man has the answer to every one of the country's problems, like Limbaugh obviously does, why isn't *he* the President?" The answer is quite simple: Those who can't do, criticize. If Limbaugh's life -- or his drug money -- depended on it, he could never make a better President than Bill Clinton was.

Meanwhile, as disturbing as parts of this "Fahrenheit" movie are, they don't come close to matching the sheer terror I feel when I try to imagine what this country, and in fact the entire world, might be like today had Al Gore become the President of the United States in 2000. That terror is matched only by the frightful thought of what the world might be like down the road had John Kerry won that election last month! What a relief that we chose the leader who can't talk over the talker who can't lead!

Michael Moore knows how to make films. He knows all about the structure and construction of a documentary

-- pacing, lighting, editing, the use of music in film, etc, etc. But, he doesn't know the first thing about being the President of the United States. That's why he has never been and never will be the President -- those who can't do, criticize, remember? I will admit that at least, this windbag has a sense of humor.

This film is for you if you have no appreciation whatsoever of what must be the most difficult job in the entire world and even less love and respect for America . . . and if you care only to mock and ridicule its leader. And, of course, if you're the type of person who would throw lighter fluid on a burning house, you will love this film.

The Beatles Revolution (2000 TV Movie)

Superb And Essential!

[18 November 2003]

Sadly, an astounding number of allegedly grown-up people in this world are walking around under the impression that the Beatles were just an over-rated rock band that had a bunch of hits and made some girls scream.

These people need to be strapped to a chair and forced to watch this outstanding TV special. Maybe if it's force-fed to them, they might obtain a clue as to the part these four incredible men played in so many areas of our present-day life -- everything from music itself, inter-generational attitudes, fashion, language and hairstyles to music videos, live concerts, graphic design, the music industry and even the fall of communism in the Soviet Union!

This special, more than any other one I've seen, touched on so much of all of that. It should be repeated by the network at least once a year . . . if only to remind people of today from where they have come.

Bananas (1971)

A Memorable Ahead-Of-Its-Time Classic

[26 March 2003]

I went to see "Bananas," in the early 1970s with three of my high school buddies, in our local theater. And, it remains -- three decades later -- one of the most memorable and one of my most talked about movie-going experiences ever. So much of it was comprised of absolutely hysterical scenes which I've told countless people about through the years, and still tell people about.

Watching this movie today, it seems as if it had been somewhat haphazardly written. I get the feeling that Woody Allen had kept a journal in which he noted the funniest sights he'd witnessed and the cleverest one-liners he'd heard, over a period of years, and then set about mixing all of these totally unrelated funny things into one script. It's like he was saying to himself, "I think I'll throw in the bit about the guy trying to discreetly buy a sex magazine in a quiet neighborhood store and getting embarrassed, and then the snake bite bit later on. But first before the next plot turn, I think I'll put in the bit in which a guy gets out of his car and falls into an open manhole.", etc. You feel at times like you're watching a Benny Hill-type comedy show, or a TV variety show with a series of comedy skits that have nothing at all to do with each other. Somehow, Woody blended it all together into a fairly coherent story. There are also a few scenes which feature "Airplane"/"Naked Gun"-style tongue-in-cheek humor. But, this movie had been made *long* before those were even thought of. There's a message in that: This movie was ahead of its time. There's a segment of "Bananas," early on, which is just one outrageously funny bit after another after another.

I guess the movie doesn't really have a point . . . except maybe that maniacal dictators are crazy, dangerous and should be driven from power . .. or maybe that freedom is worth fighting for . . . or maybe that some causes are worth laying down your life for. Obviously, there's relevance in all of that for us, today. Or maybe the whole point of this movie could simply be that Woody Allen knows how to make people laugh.

Later, Art

Step by Step (1991–1998)

Not A Bad Little Show

[4 March 2003]

"Step By Step," while not the greatest TV show ever, was certainly not the worst! It wasn't a bad little show. Those people who never saw the show, and are looking to the user comments here in order to find out whether or not the show was any good, there's a message to be found in all the negative comments that have been posted here. It should be noted that in those bashing reviews that the grammar is so atrocious and that so many of the words are misspelled. What does that tell you?

And, to all you super critics, you're not fooling anyone by your use of BIG words like "targeted", "innuendo", "propaganda", "relegated", etc. For people who seem to know so much about what makes a great comedy series, Why aren't they writing great ones and dazzling us all with all their Emmys?

The Wizard of Oz (1939)

Pure magic! An unforgettable part of growing up

[1 August 2002]

Watching "The Wizard Of Oz" on television every year was as much a part of growing up for me as playing with friends, trick-or-treating every Halloween, walking to and from school every day, and trying to listen for Santa Claus downstairs in the wee hours every Christmas Eve. What a movie! What a story! What great characters! One unforgettable moment after another after another!

Pure magic!

As for those members who have confronted with popular opinion here by posting those despicable negative reviews of this American treasure, what can I say but -- one out of three ain't too good, people! While these individuals certainly have courage, not one of them seems to have a brain .. . or a heart!

Perhaps, *they* should seek help from the Wizard themselves.

Billy Jack (1971)

A truly under-rated and over-bashed classic!

[7 September 2001]

In the words of the late, great actor Carroll O'Connor, "A critic can say what he wants. Most of them are dumbbells. They don't understand art. They can't create it. They don't know what it is when they see it . .."

It never ceases to amaze me how many people without an ounce of talent feel that they are qualified to rip apart the hard work of those who have been blessed with performing talent and creative talent. A few of the "critics" who have written in the "user comments" here are pretty astounding, too -- the ones who completely missed the points of the movie "Billy Jack," one who knowingly states that this was the first Billy Jack film and one who "somes" up the movie "in one word . . . Dumb!" A beautiful statement from an individual who spells the word sum: s-o-m-e. Sure, "Billy Jack" is dated, painfully liberal-minded and obviously independently-made, at not much cost. But, the film's issues are just as valid today as they were thirty years ago. The story is interesting, the characters are believable and portrayed *more* than well enough. This movie has been unjustifiably trashed through the years. It is truly an under-rated and over-bashed classic.

I have seen this movie so many times, I know every word of dialogue by heart, and I have for years. When the movie first came out, I paid to see it in a local theater at least 8 - 10 times, each time with a different friend or a different combination of friends. When it hit television, I watched it a couple of more times. After the home video age was well upon us, I recorded TBS's mercilessly chopped-to-shreds version of it and watched that several times. A couple of years ago, when Billy Jack Enterprises made the newly-restored video version available, I just HAD to purchase one, I've seen *that* at least a dozen times. I love this movie every bit as much now, as a middle-aged man, as I did as an impressionable teenager. . . if not more.

61* (2001 TV Movie)

A fine piece of work!

[6 May 2001]

Is it a blessing or is it a curse that, these days, any imbecile with a computer, internet access and at least one working finger can pretend to be the lowest form of life on Planet Earth -- a movie critic?

Regardless of what some of them may have you believe, "61*" is a wonderful piece of work! I highly recommend it to Yankee fans, to anyone with even an *ounce* of affection for baseball . . . and to just about anyone with a beating heart inside his or her chest. The performances are incredible, the direction is superb, and the recreation of the time and the old Yankee Stadium is astounding!

Anyone complaining that the actors/players didn't look like real players throwing a baseball needs to watch the movie again -- this time with his or her eyes open . . . or, watch a real game some time! Anyone complaining that the music (`Dream Lover, `I Like It Like That", "Dedicated To The One I Love", "Walk, Don't Run", "Hello, Mary Lou", etc.) did not capture the period needs to watch the movie again -- this time with the sound on! And, anyone complaining about holes or predictability in the "plot" needs to be informed that this was a true story that actually happened!