shawnw007 Reviews

The Family Stallone (2023– )

Overall, it's fun popcorn-munching reality...

[7/10 · 27 February 2024]

I'm not much of a reality-show fan, TBH. However, I do like Sly Stallone and his appearance as the sardonic muscle-bound doting dad certainly does not disappoint. In a household packed with women, he does well to hold his ground...and it's fun to watch him sigh or roll his eyes with exasperation while his 3 spoiled but lovable daughters sporadically work his nerves.

I also like the fact that the show tries hard to capture the family's good old-fashioned sense of humanity. Once you can look past the Bentley's, the million-dollar flats and enchanting swimming pools, the Stallones are a typical family wrestling similar challenges of the world. I do have to admit - the Stallone girls perpetually donned in their rolling lashes, thick bronzer and caked-up Maybelline has worn my nerves, but of course, we're aware that they ARE nepo-babies.

My only contention is, even though this is purported "reality", something about the behavior of the family always seems staged...like they're not completely spontaneous, but instead, performing. I know the heavy presence of cameras would ruin anyone's spontaneity to a degree, but I'm always reminded, somehow, that this is still just a show. The behaviors of the leads never renders as completely natural. Perhaps the picture-perfect image of Sly and Jennifer was shattered after learning that this amazing couple, who successfully paraded as two affectionate, loving and dedicated individuals in Season 1, soon planned to divorce shortly afterward. Was the love they showed on camera genuine, or did their impending divorce affirm that it's all just a façade? I'm not so convinced about everything else now.

Overall, fun television if you learn not to take it too seriously.

Mr. Monk's Last Case: A Monk Movie (2023)

Biggest asset was the perfect timing...

[10/10 · 8 December 2023]

I think we were all in desperate need of a "Monk" sequel. Thank GOD they delivered!

To be honest...I was a bit dubious regarding this film. After all, the original series wrapped with such a fulfilling sense of closure for Adrian Monk. Fans finally witnessed this incredibly brilliant sleuth absorb some emotional healing after Trudy's tragic death. And after 8 perfectly executed seasons, we certainly didn't want anything to mess up Adrian's positive reformation - even 12 years later.

But then, of course, the pandemic struck the "Monk" world and shook open a whole new portal.

On the other hand, the entire storyline worked well here. The plot surrounding Jeff Bezos-billionaire-clone Richard Eden was typical Monk fare, but what really enhanced the movie was the heartfelt reunion with other favorable "Monk" alumni. And thank God, it wasn't overly sappy, either. I loved that Melora Hardin's "Trudy" was given a more essential role - as a celestial advisor supporting her husband through his emotional crisis. I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED seeing "Natalie" again and watching that deliciously playful rapport that she and Adrian continuously share. Damn...I'd missed that! Even Randy and Captain Stottlemeyer made appearances (wish Ted Levine had received a bit more screentime or that Bitty Schram had appeared...but oh well). Not to mention, it's always icing watching Hector Elizondo work his magic as Dr. Bell (at 87, does this man ever age?) and the prolific Brooke Adams with her ever-so-friendly cameos.

But this particular "Monk" case is something of a surprise. In this glorified extended episode, the producers also reveal a darker side of Adrian's deteriorating emotional state and even carry the character into more controversial territory. For the first time, not only is Monk depressed, but even worse, suicidal. In the series, Monk's antics and OCD brought many light-hearted chuckles and a sense of comic relief. But in this case, a now "suicidal" Adrian Monk takes on a more serious overtone. Though it's a bit uncertain how the pandemic stimulated such a drastic relapse, particularly for a man whose lifestyle was already accustomed to such isolated living conditions - all we know is that our hearts ache profoundly for Adrian Monk. Though the writers balance the atmosphere by incorporating several jocular moments (I just about died when Adrian stepped on that dog poop), we, as viewers largely find ourselves gravely afraid for our beloved protagonist as he learns to find himself again.

But don't worry: No matter what, we're all rooting for you, Adrian!

Oz: Exeunt Omnes (2003) Season 6, Episode 8

As we bid farewell, I couldn't help but wonder...(HEAVY SPOILERS)

[7/10 · 25 November 2023]

Yes, Oz will survive as one of the greatest shows in history. I binged-watched this drama in a two-week sitting, and savored every waking moment. However, now that I've reached the conclusion of the series, I couldn't help but ponder...

Random Musings -

1. Leo Glynn's/Harrison Beecher/Mayor Loewen's deaths - So, these are three very prominent members of the community who were brutally murdered within weeks apart. Not to mention, the murders were sloppy, hastily done by cons and undoubtedly left a string of clues in every which way. Yes, we know their killers were ultimately slain in retribution. But why are the men's deaths never mentioned again? Why are conditions at Oz even allowed to continue as if these men never existed? I mean, the actual MAYOR of the city's throat was cut while in custody. And we're all just moving on?

On that note, why is Governor Devlin still roaming free? With the string of evidence/confessions surrounding him, including McManus's little "No matter what...we will get you!" proclamation, why was Devlin never implicated in the murder of Mayor Loewen? My 9-year-old could have linked him to the crime.

2. Cameras - I read somewhere that in it's 6-season run, Oz incurred a total of 112 deaths (with only 14 being natural or accidental). By the end of the series, it was open season as major characters were being killed left and right. So with the ever-present principle that "We can't incriminate anyone unless there is proof...otherwise it's his word against yours..." then why didn't administration simply invest in a basic security system? With all of Glynn's table talks with his staff, not individual ever suggested installing cameras? Decent security existed in the 2000's. Even a cheap security system would have been advantageous and well-spent within Warden Glynn's thin budget.

3. Speaking of which, I never understood why Oz consistently maintained the "it's his word against yours" policy. Not only was this inconceivable, as there are millions of other provable ways one can link someone to a crime minus witnesses, but this decree seemed to function as a hall pass for many of the killings in the show (ie. O'Reily's murdering Patrick Keenan while Arif clearly watched). After all, it seems that if anyone wants to kill in Oz, they're welcome to kill freely in broad daylight. If someone sees you, no biggie: it'll merely be your word against theirs.

4. Why exactly did Idzik kill Kareem Said? Yes, we were adorned with loads of Idzik's theories about the universe. We learned of his flighty resentment of Kareem's "coffee talk" premonition about the end of the world. But was this really enough to enter a prison years later and off the man? I just wasn't buying it. Including the frivolous way that Idzik slipped the gun into one of the nation's most deadliest prisons in the first place.

And then, in sheer idiocy, McManus decides to bunk Idzik with Omar White, of all people? The same White, who was Kareem Said's protégé and someone with a repeated history of mental instability and impulsivity? Oh come on...

5. Cyril O'Reily - Why was this man even executed? He was granted a stay of execution only to be executed again right afterward? What was the point of the brief hiatus in-between? Talk about an anti-climax. Furthermore, prisoners in Oz are killed left and right, and some in plain sight. Vern Schillinger, for one, had Tobias Beecher's child murdered and his ear sent FedEx, and yet Cyril becomes the only scapegoat for the death penalty while trying to defend his brother in front of 100 witnesses? Obviously, the murder wasn't premeditated. So why wasn't Cyril's crime reduced to additional years on his sentence? Again, not buying it.

6. Missing persons - Did anyone ever pursue the disappearances of Cloutier and Ronald Barlog? Cloutier was sealed into a wall TWICE, and no one thought to look for this man, who was completely bed-bound, ever again? And did anyone find it odd that Barlog never returned to his pod after having his neck broken in the storage room? Or are these all off-camera discoveries?

7. Poet - In the vein of miraculous recoveries, it's amazing how Poet (and Junior Pierce) could have scalding hot soup poured on him in Season 4, develop near-fatal third-degree burns, and somehow survive without one IOTA of a scar afterward. Aloe vera clearly works wonders.

8. Enrique Morales' death - This was also a wild one. Tough man Morales whimpers a heartfelt confession to Warden Glynn that nurse Grace "scares me" instead of ordering one of his thugs to off her. Meanwhile, nurse Grace, who has a public history of suspected killings at her old job, is assigned the EXACT SAME JOB with proximity to ailing prisoners. Yeah, right. And all at once, she decides to start offing one prisoner after the next, causing the convenient deaths of both Morales and Carlos Martinez. But what exactly prompted her latest slew of killings? Didn't Dr. Nathan share that nurse Grace had worked at Oz prior to her arrival? Did nurse Grace finally decide it was time to start killing all the "bad men who deserved to be punished" again out of the blue?

9. Dave Brass - Why exactly did Dave Brass attempt to kill Vahue? The writers didn't give enough justification to warrant his actions except for a brief conversation between he and Vahue that served as a cheap precursor. Perhaps the strain of Brass's busted Achilles' tendons was too much for him emotionally...yet there was never any bad blood between he and Vahue to begin with. Brass not only inherited a whopping 2 mil from Rebadow's ticket, but he also slashed Morales' ankles with delicious moment of poetic justice. What was more needed at this point?

All in all, I suppose no show is perfect. There will always be inconsistencies and implausible notions at every turn (a pool table in a max security prison alone takes the cake). Otherwise, Oz will remain in my top ten permanently.

Barbie (I) (2023)

The Little Mermaid meets Pleasantville, the Musical

[7/10 · 13 September 2023]

I can honestly say that "Barbie" is one of those movies where you either completely love it or hate it. Either way, there seems to be very little gray matter - and it's the type of film where you simply sit back and enjoy the ride. As a former Barbie connoisseur now in her 40's, I was curious how producers would carry this film. And since nothing is completely original now, I couldn't ignore the overtones similar to 1998's Pleasantville - with our female protagonist postulating the human world outside of "Barbieland". Alas, toward the third act, the movie seemed to whip into a full-fledged "Mama Mia" production and I wondered amusingly what the hell I was watching at times. There were parts that were downright silly (Ryan Gosling's performance as Ken was hilarious, but borderline over-the-top, to say the least). However, the profound messages of diversity, female empowerment, personal acceptance and loving thyself were ubiquitous (I mean, they REALLY stressed it from start to finish), and little girls across the globe should find the movie worthy of embracing. For us middle-aged moms, you'll delight in several heartfelt chuckles...not to mention the wonderful tie-ins to discontinued Barbies from our past. But once the credits role, you'll also realize one viewing is enough.

Scream VI (2023)

So...knives don't kill people anymore?

[4/10 · 14 August 2023]

Listen, I've watched every "Scream" film since it's premiere in '96, and each one has become more ludicrous by the minute.

At this juncture, it's obvious the franchise has officially Jumped the Shark. The writers are now pulling nephews, cousins, grandmothers, long-distance relatives and adopted siblings as the new generation of "slayers", and of course, it's always done in the name of seeking retribution for a dead family member.

Enough, already. It's getting old.

Coupled with the fact that essential characters are getting slashed and stabbed, and then simply rising off the ground with a quick stretch and a whimper? I don't get it. So teenagers don't DIE anymore? I watched three people in this film get stabbed in the chest and gut, and many were impaled multiple times. I don't know about you, but when a stabbing occurs in the belly, you will usually bleed out. End of story. It doesn't matter if you have the majestic body of a teenager. Or if you're a vital character to the storyline.

All in all, I'm pretty done. And to save you the time, I predict the next Ghostface will be Billy Loomis' mom's best friend's GODMOTHER, because you know...everyone hates Samantha at this point.

Hijack: Brace Brace Brace (2023) Season 1, Episode 7

Entertaining series, but the big "reveal" left me perplexed...

[7/10 · 11 August 2023]

So all this hi-jacking foolishness was about stocks and trading? Let's demolish the reputation of a reputable airline by propping guns to passengers' heads for 7 hours so that stocks ultimately fall and make us rich?

Um...okay.

Also, how was Amanda ultimately not arrested? I get that she was protecting her family (and certainly why), but the decision to initiate her own private hi-jack and resume endangering the lives of 200 passengers is still criminal...regardless of your motive. How could any hi-ranking official decide to let her go?

Furthermore, I felt Idris's (aka "Sam's") need to go back into the plane at the end was forced. That paper bag or whatever the hell he grabbed seemed insignificant, and not enough reason to venture back into the vessel after everyone was specifically told to "leave all of your belongings". The writers were merely desperate for an excuse to provide one final twist. Realistically, officers would have cleared all passengers and ransacked that plane from top to bottom, looking for any assailant in hiding. 🙄

Dexter: New Blood: Sins of the Father (2022) Season 1, Episode 10

Not the worst I've seen, but I get why people were ticked...

[6/10 · 30 July 2023]

I remember binge-watching "Dexter" back in 2014. Nearly a decade later, I happened to turn it on for my husband and found myself binge-watching the entire series again. I must admit-- it wasn't too bad the second time around. Of course it's hard to ignore a myriad of inconceivable coincidences that have worked so beautifully in Dexter's favor, allowing our anti-hero to remain the quiet vigilante unscathed (that pivotal moment in S5 when Lumen and Dexter narrowly hid from Debra's capture since she altruistically decided not to arrest them from behind a curtain took the CAKE). But alas, we're always rooting for Dex, and that's what makes this show great entertainment.

For the series finale, I do have a few musings to share that have botched the credibility of a storyline that I wish the writers had strongly reconsidered beforehand. And I mean strongly.

1) For die-hard fans, let's set the record straight: we know that Dexter strongly maintained the code. But let's also remind ourselves that Dexter Morgan was, in fact, a SERIAL KILLER. For those of you shouting from the mountaintops that Lloyd's death contradicted Dexter's principles, let's remind ourselves of a few other "code violations" from the past. In S5: E1, Dexter murdered that annoying biker in the restroom for merely antagonizing him; let's also not forget that Dexter was prepared to kill LaGuerta (who did NOT fit his code, but had simply discovered his identity as the BHB) before Debra stepped in and intervened. So yes, even though killing Lloyd was a bit unusual, Dexter has already demonstrated that he will occasionally kill impulsively, or when necessary to avoid getting caught.

2) My issue was the writing of both Angela and Harrison's characters. Someone addressed this earlier, but I find it completely implausible that for decades, Dexter managed to deceive top-notch feds, Special Agent Lundy (the man literally walked around 24/7 with a tape recorder) and an entire police department with high-ranking officials and superior forensic technology, only to have little miss Angela, an unknown, isolated northerner sheriff, crack the giant mystery of "Dexter" all on her own? Yeah...right. Not that small-town sheriffs are incompetent. But c'mon, ya'll. There's implausible...and then there's borderline ridiculous. At least LaGuerta had Chief Matthews to work with. Adding to the notion that every other character in New Blood seemed to share a plethora of Dexter facts and revelations every time they crossed Angela's path. From Molly's commenting of Dexter's phone recording to Audrey's confession about Dexter's "fake name", and even the drug dealer griping about his unexplained needle prick to the neck, NO STONE in Dexter's identity discovery was left unturned by a capable witness. After a while, it was almost as if the entire cosmos were working together so that Angela could obtain the immediate who, the what, the when, the where, the why and the how of Dexter's every move by some random confessing citizen. By the time cameras zoomed in on Batista, who somehow felt obligated to take the time to stop, pivot and recall the name of "Harrison" to a stranger he just met, I was like, "Oh come on...". As if the need for recollecting that boy's name after an entire decade was that obligatory to someone he met five minutes before.

3) And then there's Harrison. I tried but I just didn't get him. Despite the inconsistency of his age (I realize writers could give the character more material if he were older), he seemed to flake back and forth with both his love and animosity for his father. In the penultimate episode, Harrison appeared to finally adore his dear-old dad. After all, his father's admission as a serial killer had offered the young lad a wonderful sense of absolution and new comradery. Harrison was literally clutching his pops when he discovered this. And yet, at the very moment Dexter finds himself on the run, old Harrison is back...full of resentment and reminding Dexter: I'M NOTHING LIKE YOU!" Again, c'mon writers. We've gone from one extreme to the other with this boy, haven't we? He's stabbing people in the legs, breaking arms at wrestling matches (another ridiculous notion, as a zillion people watched him do it, and yet, he was never prosecuted afterward?), etc. I mean, pick a side, son. I also don't understand why Harrison was even living on the streets. I know that Astor and Cody were being raised by their grandparents, but did the writers assume we had forgotten that Rita's mother, Gail, was also Harrison's biological grandparent? The goal of most foster systems is to reunite children with relatives, and she would've been the first person contacted once Harrison returned to Miami. Do the writers simply create these external characters and toss out their storyboards later, never to address them again?

4) And finally, the infamous wheal in the crime photos that helped Angela connect Dexter as the BHB. Again, really? Are viewers to believe that bodies which have been festering at the bottom of the ocean from months to even years were somehow intact enough to produce clear photographic images of injection sites on the neck? Do the writers seriously believe that we, as viewers, are that dense? Any ONE of us with a recent flu or tetanus shot will tell you that the "wheal" usually disappeared within a few hours. And that's with living, human tissue. Therefore, it's hard for me to believe that rotting corpses at the bottom of the ocean were somehow preserved enough to reveal needle marks.

All in all, a decent, entertaining season -- but often times, a borderline insult to our intelligence.

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel: The Princess and the Plea (2023) Season 5, Episode 8

Excellent episode of self-reflection...

[10/10 · 20 May 2023]

This season has carried viewers on an interesting carousel of back and forths, and for a second, I debated whether the constant retrospect/flashforwards were starting to give me a bit of whiplash. But this episode seemed to really work. In Midge's case, we have followed her loyally through 5 seasons, watching her burgeoning career careen through a wave of peaks and valleys. But, like Midge, we as viewers are also anxious to finally see this girl get her big break. I don't know about you, but by now, I'm spewing "C'mon, already!" I was so glad when our heroine finally stomped her foot and shouted to the mountaintops: "GET ME ON THAT SHOW!" to a very surprised Susie.

But the real prize here was Abe. Don't get me wrong...Abe encapsulates every frustrated, overbearing, opinionated, self-righteous and partially chauvinistic father that every ONE of us can probably reference. And we love him for it. He personally cracks me up, because the key is basically not to take him or Rose too seriously. But watching Abe's personal evolution throughout the series has been magical. Although I never bought the notion of him abandoning a successful career as a tenured professor for a mere writing job, I enjoyed where the writers took Abe in this episode. His bewilderment last week from discovering his gifted granddaughter has started a new transition of belief: perhaps there is more to the women in his life...and it has subsequently led to a beautifully-played meta-cognitive review of Abe's own chauvinism regarding Midge. For once in his life, Abe realizes that he is not always right. The real superstar in the family is (and has always been) Midge, and Abe's humility in acknowledging his daughter's sole perseverance in a male-dominated career without the real support of her parents was wonderfully endearing. Especially as he admitted this to a table full of men.

Following the ubiquitous theme of regret, we find other characters also recognizing their own past mistakes. It was nice to see Joel venture a bit through memory lane as he quietly embraced his own conflict for leaving Midge. This was a good woman, a good mother...and losing her over a silly fling with a dimwitted secretary tarnished Joel's character from the start. I never understood why the writers kept him on (Shirley and Moishe are much more valuable as comic reliefs). But at least Joel's sincerity and love for Midge has persisted. The affirmation in this episode that Joel truly misses her and regrets his behavior shows us that Joel isn't all too bad.

Bravo for such a wonderfully introspective episode. Can't wait to see what next week brings!

Stark Raving Mad (1999–2000)

Quirky series with great potential, but fizzles out after a while...

[7/10 · 30 November 2022]

So, I'm not gonna lie: I'm not much of a "sitcom" fan, and in an era governed by Netflix and Amazon Prime Video binge-watching, I think sitcoms are vastly now a dying breed. However, those rules didn't apply at the start of the millennium, which was probably this show's saving grace (at least for a year). And anyway, I'll admittedly watch anything with Tony Shalhoub or Neil Patrick Harris. Both actors, of course, are remarkably talented and deliver their roles with genuine hilarity and light-hearted realism. I'm not sure if the chemistry between them is as solid as I'd hope, but then again, that heavily reinforces the awkwardness that defines their relationship as writer and editor. Ian and Henry are partners in the literary world, and the tension and irritability that gravitates between them is a significantly underscored theme between the two. And boy do they play it out well!

The problem with the show is the supporting cast. In many regards, Ian and Henry are the only multilayered characters of interest, and their dynamic alone truly overshadows the need for any secondary players. For the most part, it just seems as if there isn't much for everyone else to do, other than to shift the monotony of story material from Ian or Henry, or throw in an occasional chuckle here and there. Furthermore, the supporting cast members are primarily one-dimensional and cliché. Eddie McClintock as Jake is irritating, and his over-the-top, Gomer Pyle likeness is too idiotic and too juvenile to draw many laughs. His comic appeal seems targeted toward adolescents, and his stupidity often borders on ridiculousness. In hindsight, I found myself rolling my eyes every time he muttered a line. Then there's Tess, Henry's girlfriend, who represents the stereotypical spoiled, privileged, upper-class brat. I'm not sure why the producers included her as a regular character, seeming as though she contributed very little other than to serve as Henry's entitled girlfriend. Every statement/action out of her mouth embodies this, so there was nothing much else to anticipate from her role, side from the perpetual whining. And finally, there's Heather Dubrow as Maddie, the friendly bartender downstairs who generally functions as one-of-the-gang, though the writers tease early on about a potential union between her and Ian. Out of all the supporting cast, Maddie had the most wiggle room for additional story material (other than the superficial, promiscuous persona they tacked her with). However, the writers just never followed through.

All in all, it's a funny series...but the "insanely funny" moniker is overstating just a bit. I like that often times, it will venture into just enough "taboo" for a hardcore laugh, and the slapstick is never too excessive. The producers were brilliant to cast both Neil Patrick Harris and Tony Shalhoub as leads, but unfortunately, the two men simply couldn't bear enough weight to carry this sitcom full-term.

And to the producers, just an FYI: Ditch the laugh track next time.

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel: We're Going to the Catskills! (2018) Season 2, Episode 4

Absolute FAVORITE episode of the series...courtesy of Tony Shalhoub!

[10/10 · 23 November 2022]

Love the show, but Tony Shalhoub made this episode shine like gold. From the very beginning, Abe's incessant cantankerousness perfectly captured the typical angst that precedes family trips. He represented every frustrated father surrounded by an atmosphere of fickle women. With his opening reprimand of Ethan for touching his "toys" (the TKAM parody, by the way, was brilliant), to his micromanaging of the women's overpacking, and even his obsessive chastising of the flighty assistant Samuel, who ended up retaining the "Jimmy" moniker throughout due to Abe's fervent emphasis that the young man would never ever win his favor, was a composite of every nagging, critical and equally lovable father on this earth (his "How could you possibly HELP me with the tree!" line also had me in hysterics). Perhaps it's the inflection on certain words that Shalhoub uses to reflect his irritability, but either way, there isn't one iota of "Abe" that each of us can't identify within our own fathers. And this is why I truly love this character!

I'm still not sure why the writers continue to infuse Joel so much into the storyline, as it seems odd that an ex would accompany his separated wife on a solid two-month sabbatical in the Catskills simply to be near his "children". Even by Season 2, his presence to the family was still heavily established as "awkward", so the reasoning for his attendance didn't seem credible enough. Perhaps just a subtle ploy to keep his appearances active in the show in order to avoid his character from becoming an afterthought? No clue, really. In addition, I also don't understand the point of Midge's "children" or why they were even written into the "Maisel" series other than to symbolize Midge's domesticity. Ethan and Esther contribute to none of the story arcs and act more like decorative pieces being raised by mysterious guardians off-camera. I don't know about you, but I can count the times on one hand where we've actually seen Midge actually caring for Esther in this entire show. As a comic she soars, but as a mother, she completely sucks. News flash, writers: Most new moms (especially those from the 50's) are glued to their children. And leaving young babies in the car unattended for extensive periods of time, along with the family luggage, seems oddly bizarre.

Either way, I know this is a popular episode, but I had to give credit to where credit was due. Tony Shalhoub is, in many ways, an underrated actor, but his credibility and comical genius certainly does wonders to make this season so much more enticing!

Scream (I) (2022)

Becoming a bit far-fetched at this point...

[5/10 · 10 April 2022]

So of course, being a fan of the original "Scream" at the tender age of 16, I just had to tap into this "requel", or whatever the hell they're calling it. Now that I'm 42, I'm finding either I've gotten too old to buy into this foolishness, or the writing has simply deteriorated with this new generation.

The movie mirrors the same formula of it's predecessors - a coed circle of random friends intermittently accusing one another of being "the killer" while Ghostface secretly lurks among one of them, gutting victims left and right. Of course, the big "reveal" identifies the least-suspecting candidate as the slayer, who subsequently delivers a drawn-out monologue justifying every motive and every slaughter. In this film, the "reason" ended up being totally contrived and illogical. I suppose a teenager (the intended audience) would find it shocking, but an adult would simply roll his/her eyes. So...this corn-syrup-filled bloodbath was all in the name of keeping the "Stab" franchise alive for the next generation? Oh come now. In another homage to the original villain, we're also treated to custom CGI manipulations of Skeet Ulrich's youthful Billy Loomis, who somehow fathered the protagonist back in 1996 and now acts as a ghostly Big Brother...popping up in mirrors and reflections with paternal guidance. I don't know about ya'll, but 1996 was over 26 years ago. Shouldn't our lead be a bit older if Billy Loomis is her father? Math doesn't add up.

Furthermore, in the name of loveable movie clichés, of course all hospitals in the film are inexplicably empty...devoid of every type of nurse, doctor, custodian and social worker on the planet. That, of course, gives clearance for Ghostface to murder every victim he comes across without interference. Not to mention, I've never seen so many characters get stabbed in the stomach without mortal repercussion. Not sure, but I do seem to recall from 10th grade biology that there is a MAJOR artery running in the stomach that will cause the average human to bleed out when pierced - yet these characters get shanked and magically resurrect with enough stamina to fight, kick and grab guns. Uh...okay. Right.

Long story short, I didn't buy it. At this juncture, the franchise appears to be electing any random characters to adorn the Ghostface costume for whatever implausible motive. At least the appearance of Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox and David Arquette brought things home a bit...though I'm not sure what purpose their cameos really played. They certainly weren't necessary characters for the storyline. Perhaps it's time for this entire franchise to retire?

The Adam Project (2022)

Went on about 30 minutes too long...

[6/10 · 14 March 2022]

I heard someone mention that Ryan Reynolds once again plays "Ryan Reynolds" here...but simply as another character. Welp, that was right on the mark.

What we have is a slight rip off of Disney's "The Kid" concept where the older protagonist encounters his annoying younger, smart-aleck self...while also tossing in a time-travel element to the plot just to shake things up a bit. Ditch any form of plausibility and you might enjoy the ride. However for me, seeing this once was enough. The initial first act managed to hold my attention, even though I found the child-version of RR to be an irritating little snot. I know that character element was purposely woven into the film as a plot device, but the little kid still got on my nerves after a while. I got the feeling he was trying too hard. Then, of course, there was Catherine Keener's selection to play the antagonist, which...I'm sorry but I really couldn't buy. Perhaps she's been typecast in my mind as the sweet and mellow-like mom-next-door, so the sultry, evil Dr. No transformation here just didn't ring true to me. And even RR's supposed relationship with Zoe Saldana in the film just seemed forced. I couldn't swallow any of the chemistry between them. Their affection seemed tacked on rather than natural.

All in all, take the movie at face value and don't try to dissect it on too many levels. At the end of the day, it's a kid's film, and I'm sure that's exactly who the producers intentionally targeted.

The X-Files: Rm9sbG93ZXJz (2018) Season 11, Episode 7

Definitely a new classic episode...

[10/10 · 8 January 2022]

Listen...I seldom write reviews, but I couldn't resist: this episode of the X-files was simply brilliant. I'm been an avid watcher of this show since it's premiere in '93, and like all, I've adopted a small (and anchored) set of favorite episodes. But this one certainly tops my list.

No, I have never seen "Black Mirror" or any the rumored comparables these days. I'm also glad, in a way, because I could watch and enjoy the episode for what it was without any preexisting references to distract me. What we essentially get here is a trifecta of wins: creepiness, wittiness and nail-biting suspense. I couldn't wait to see what the writers would come up with at every turn!

Of course, the episode works because of our two glorious leads. The first half excels as Mulder and Scully silently dine in a ultra nouveau Japanese sushi bar (minus humans, of course). Like typical couples, they immediately take up their phones and immerse in the scrolls and swipes that delight most of us in this smartphone-infused nation. However, when Mulder's order arrives incorrectly, that's when the real drama unfolds. Thus, transitions into "Man" vs. "AI" as Mulder and Scully damn-near fight for their lives in an effort to evade leaving a tip (I dunno about ya'll, but I especially loved the mischievous smiles cast by the "Whipz" emoji as the car literally "whipped" Scully back and forth in that backseat. Too, too funny!)

All in all, a classic episode distinct for its uniqueness and devoid of complicated myth arcs or typical Monsters-of-the-week. Honestly, this isn't much of an X-File...just plain Mulder, Scully and a whole lotta edge-of-your-seat fun!

Malignant (I) (2021)

I just...CAN'T

[1/10 · 19 September 2021]

I'm finding that most horror movies now are all following the same vein: more blood, more guts, more slashing and more jump scares. This one, of course, functions no differently, as it crescendos with more implausibility by the minute and the knife smashes deeper and deeper into a myriad of victims.

Nonetheless, I watched this film with high hopes and prayed that it wouldn't be like all the rest. About 15 minutes in, I realize I wouldn't be so fortunate. I won't spoil the ridiculous plot for the rest of you, but the startling "climax" actually had me chuckling. "So "THAT" was actually the killer? Are you seriously sh@tting me?" was all I could muster.

Anyone under 18...have fun.

Anyone 21 and above, don't waste your time. You'll never get these two hours back.

The Calling (I) (2000)

Horrendous...

[2/10 · 23 July 2021]

And no, I'm not saying that simply because of the content.

I can stand a bad movie. But at least try and make it credible. This one is an insult to any parent's intelligence.

Standard variation of "The Omen", where Little Nicky is once again a highly precocious, Rainman-type of savant (in this case, the kid can speak full sentences backwards). Eventually, household animals turn up dead or impaled...but the adults in the film simply brush them off as "children learning to experiment with death". I don't know about y'all, but in my world, forking your guinea pig onto a fence post while it's squealing to death would've warranted a referral to a child psychologist for pre-sociopathic tendencies. Just saying.

Naturally, Mom is the only one scurrying around and noticing her child is different. Of course, her theories are unsupported by all, and eventually dad, aunt and everyone else tries to gaslight her. Predictably, they're all in on it. And while all this occurs, her child continues to assault Mom or whisper creepy, foreboding sentences without penalty. Death looms all around as people jump to their deaths and whatnot, but the little Devil-kid never reacts. Any one of our parents would've slapped the sh$t out of us for the half the stuff this kid does...but alas, as Satan's spawn...everything he does is dismissed.

Cheaply-made film...ridiculous and overdone concept. I don't know about you guys, but I turned this mess off before it even ended.

The Vanished (2020)

Surprisingly GOOD!!!

[7/10 · 24 June 2021]

I'm always a little wary of other people's reviews, as many of our younger generation prefers constant action, entertainment and stimulation. So if that's what you're looking for, then this isn't the film for you. Although there are many "jump scare" sequences, the film moves along at an occasionally slow-to-moderate speed, and yet it's entirely gripping.

Anne Heche does a fabulous job, and her performance as the overwrought mother looking for her lost child was entirely convincing. One of my favorite elements was the fact that the film keeps you guessing until the end, and suspecting everyone in its path as the abductor. And by the way, for anyone who claims to have "predicted" the ending after only 10 minutes into the film, they're full of sh$t. This movie was well-written and formulated to keep you guessing. Overall, it was an impressive feat for Peter Facinelli.

The New Adventures of Old Christine (2006–2023)

Take it from me...this show is HILARIOUS

[10/10 · 6 April 2021]

Let me preface by admitting that I am not a fan of sitcoms (most of them just aren't funny). However, I found myself binge-watching this series night and day, which is odd because I had never actually heard of this show during its initial run. Fortunately, to the powers that be, I came across this wonderful little gem on HBO Max and it's been an incredible ride ever since!

Julia Louis-Dreyfus plays the titular character to perfection. She exudes an awesome mix of beauty and humor, yet neither characteristic comes off as superficial while she's on screen. "Christine" is certifiably a hot mess, but her good intentions and frequent self-deprecating behavior make her entirely loveable. In a nutshell, many of us working moms can relate to this woman. She tries, she fails, and she tries again. Of course, there's always a lingering curiosity as to what craziness Christine will encounter next, and the writers certainly never fail to disappoint!

Admittedly, one of the greatest components of the show is the palpable and very credible friendship presented between Wanda Sykes and JLD. I found myself wishing that a spinoff could've been formulated with just Barb and Christine. The chemistry between the two actors is extremely natural, and both women carry personalities that complement each other easily. When Christine's histrionics begin to manifest, we can already tell what Barb is thinking just by mere facial expression. Furthermore, the show casually incorporates interracial dating, homosexuality, sex, pregnancy and a number of progressive concepts without the need to ever acknowledge them as social "taboos". In other words, the writers have developed a series that appeals to all audiences without the need for heavy scrutiny or political correctness.

What surprises me the most is that this show only existed for 5 seasons. The final storyline ((SPOILER ALERT)), which introduces Christine's interest in returning to college, could've supplied a treasury of humorous storylines. I suspect that either the actors all simultaneously decided to call it quits, or the network prematurely pulled the plug when they should've left well-enough alone (I'm going with the latter). Either way, "New Christine" has become a family favorite and is easily one of the most underrated sitcoms I've ever encountered.

Downhill (I) (2020)

I really enjoyed this film!

[9/10 · 9 February 2021]

As I sift through the negative reviews on this board, I'm curious as to the ages and experiences of the reviewers. Not to mention their so-called credibility when it comes to evaluating a film illustrating the challenges that exist within a marriage. As a married mother of two, I found this movie extremely poignant and relatable. I did not see the original in which it was based, nor did I expect a comedy simply because of the two leads. It's evident that both Will Ferrell and Julia Louis-Dreyfus have deviated solely from comedic performances and are interested in extending their ranges. The outcome, to me, was very impressive.

The film contained a few witty moments, but if you're expecting slapstick, then this isn't the film for you. This is a film that focuses on a single, traumatic event that has clearly shaken this family to the core, and the painful residual of one parent's foolish decision to abandon the family during a crisis. Essentially, the family must now cope with the insensitivity of that decision, and the palpable awkwardness and discomfort that has now plagued the once happy atmosphere.

"Downhill, within itself, is very simple, yet it is profound. It also offers several opportunities for viewers to reflect on the solidity of their own familial relationships as we observe the two leads. Julia Louis-Dreyfus played her character to perfection as Billie, and her overwhelming, somber disposition in response to her husband's error was genuine and heart-wrenching. I truly felt for this woman. In addition, the cavalier way in which her husband trivialized his error is an area of frustration that wives have dealt with for centuries. Nonetheless, it became interesting how Billie, the simple, loving suburban housewife, would have to learn to cope.

Overall, I enjoyed the movie immensely, as it was highly realistic and an accurate depiction of the challenges of an everyday, imperfect couple.

My advice to all inexperienced youngsters who are neither married, divorced or parents? Again...this is not the film for you. Stay off this board.

Cobra Kai (2018–2025)

Getting Better and Better!!!

[10/10 · 4 January 2021]

I'm a 40-year-old woman who grew up relentlessly watching the Karate Kid films. Needless to say, this show has been an extraordinary treat - even for us middle-agers.

I'd also have to say that the writing has greatly improved throughout the series. Although the fight scenes occasionally feel a bit choreographed and some of the "bullying" are theatrical, Season 3 has never been more magical. Cobra Kai has stayed true to its Karate Kid alumni's by bringing back a number of familiar faces from the original trilogy. These were not simply recast actors, either - but the original members who portrayed each character. Of course, this was a wonderful way to combine the spectrum of fans from different ages...particularly us older ones who related to many of these characters when we were still children.

Keep it coming, Cobra Kai! I have never enjoyed a more exciting series!!!

Twilight (I) (2008)

A bit hokey, but not too bad...

[6/10 · 15 November 2020]

The romantic component of this film is very unrealistic (aside from the obvious notion of falling in love with a vampire), but I suppose that's what draws in so many of its bubbling teen fan base. I can definitely attest, ladies, that it's almost impossible to fall in love this quickly and this profoundly...I don't care how gorgeous your male protagonist is. Women still need a bit longer than a few weeks.

In addition, I didn't find Edward's age believable. I know this is supposed to be a 17-year old, but can we please cast someone who actually LOOKS 17 versus a college grad? In addition, I have an insurmountable issue with Edward's credibility. So, he's been a vampire since 1918 and managed to keep his blood-sucking secret for 90 years, yet he's inadvertently revealing all of his capabilities (i.e. mind-reading, sparkling skin, etc.) to the first girl that shows him some attention? Seriously?

Sigh. Only in the movies, ya'll.

Good Boys (2019)

I guess Jacob Tremblay is trying to switch out of his comfort zone...

[4/10 · 25 December 2019]

So, I watched this film not expecting much and I wasn't disappointed. I've taught middle school for 18 years, so naturally, I was prepared for the crude and obscene minds of young 6th grade boys and their curiosity for perversion. However, I was still open for some amusement.

The film's genre of comedy reveals itself right away: where laughs are basically generated from a mix of vulgarity and childhood naïveté. The fact that 3 males were chosen as protagonists rides along the "boys will be boys" cliché (had girls mirrored some of these same vile behaviors, the film would've damn-near been blacklisted. Just love the Hollywood double-standard).

The problem is, the level of naïveté experienced by the boys does not seem consistent nor credible for that age group. For instance, the film opens with ex-5th grader Max watching his own variation of a simulated alien on his MacBook (he's even chanting expletives while watching), and yet, when the boys actually watch a porno online, they are suddenly grossed out by what they are watching. So which is it, then? In addition, the boys curse like sailors (I'd equate the extraordinary accuracy of their expletives to more of a high school proficiency, TBH), yet the kids can't even open a vitamin bottle? Oh...that's right! Because they're budding 6th graders, and the mode of comedy here is banking entirely on their level of immaturity.

Not sure, but I think the formula would've worked had the children been older. But because the film constantly glorifies the youth of its protagonists (who are glorified Sesame Streeters, mind you), the expletives thrown like curveballs and the perversion of the jokes end up becoming tasteless. In other words, when your leads are portrayed too young, then the comedic elements don't seem that funny. It's like "Bridesmaids", but for 11-year olds. In addition, I'm not so sure which audience this film is trying to appeal to. Perhaps pre-pubescent teens? Older kids? Definitely not adults. I dunno. The jury is out on that one...

Bates Motel (2013–2017)

Fantastic!

[10/10 · 16 May 2018]

I turned this on casually one day (via Netflix) and became hooked from the first episode. The show is not childish, by any account, and bobs you through a series of twists, turns and cliffhangers that keep you wanting more. And I definitely don't take to things quickly.

Although the show is highly concentrated on the intricate and extremely troubled mind of protagonist Norman Bates, the real star of the show, in my opinion, is Vera Farmiga as his mother, Norma. The versatility in her acting skills are phenomenal, and in many respects, she carries the show. The chemistry between her and co-star Freddie Highmore is a winner. Bravo to an all-star cast for their believable performances and brilliantly flawed characters. Definitely a winner by all standards!

The Office: Dream Team (2009) Season 5, Episode 20

Surprising showcase for Michael Scott

[8/10 · 18 September 2017]

This episode has no real distinction other than serving as the impetus for the "Michael Scott Paper Company" story arc. However, for some reason, I always really liked it. In so many ways, Michael's histrionics consistently drive our amusement with this show, but this ep truly showcased an element of maturity and professionalism in our protagonist that is often rarely seen. Of course, in the beginning, we're forced to observe typical "Michael", who spends the first portion of the episode moping and feeling insecure about his sudden career loss. This consequently forces Pam to take charge and try and motivate her boss. However, by the end, Pam's frustrations have clearly mounted, and her inexperience altogether consumes her initial optimism. Yet, conversely, Michael, who is more adept to leadership, becomes the one who takes charge by having to console Pam. In reassuring his faithful employee (who refuses to exit a vehicle in a petulant, childlike tantrum) and conveying his overall game plan, Michael exposes an impressively no-nonsense, authoritative demeanor that illustrates his strong ability to often take the reins and get things done. In other words, we finally see why Michael is the boss. Unfortunately, because his character is utilized so often for comical purposes, we rarely get to see this side of Michael Scott. However, at least this episode reminds us why Michael, despite his incessantly hilarious shenanigans, is still one heck of a boss in his own way.

Madea's Family Reunion (2006)

A good movie to curl up to and watch on a Sunday...(Possible spoilers)

[6/10 · 20 August 2016]

I initially saw this film in my 20's, and I remember liking the slapstick scenes with Madea and absorbing the "abusive female" storyline with interest. However, now, ten years later, I realize that there are many episodes of inconsistency in the plot direction, and most of the characters are pretty static. That being said, the film is still wholly entertaining, though I understand the main criticism that it "doesn't know what it wants to be". Is it a drama? Drama-comedy? Indie? Or is it simply existing on it's own, as a Christian-themed, laughable variation of an African-American "Peyton Place"? I guess it's up to the viewer to decide. But let's take a look at some of the characters...

First there's Madea...the matriarch and pistol-packing grandma, spewing laughable one-liners, slaps, kicks, and endless words of wisdom. Truth be told, despite her comedy, I'm not sure how essential Madea really is to the multitude of story lines in this film, other than to appear in random intervals, inserting comical dialogue here and there in an effort to prevent the film from crashing in on it's own seriousness.

Then there's Madea's brother Joe, who serves no utter purpose here except as a horny, ornery comical sidekick who simply presents himself as someone who works on Madea's nerves. The "sleazy old man" thing was funny at times, but in other instances, Joe's routine got old (no pun intended).

Next you have Lisa...a whimpering, spoiled protagonist destined to marry the rich man next door. There was nothing about the character that was appealing...nor did Rochelle Aytes' acting skills impress me. Other than her perpetual watery eyes and shaky gasps for air whenever her abusive fiancé rough-handled her, they didn't do enough for this character to help win over my sympathy. In fact, her posture as a victim became downright irritating.

Then there's Vanessa, the older, stronger and emotionally-damaged sister, who comes across initially as a hard bitch...but we, as viewers, are inevitably forced to forgive her as her unfortunate past is reveal through the plot line. Though I initially disliked Vanessa (I perpetually get tired of our black women routinely being portrayed as "hard" or having an attitude, simply because of life's struggles), she was the only person who seemed multi-faceted, as if the writers seemed more vested in making her story a priority in the many subplots that take place here.

Victoria, portrayed by the lovely Lynn Whitfield, was a ridiculous cliché in every sense of the word. I didn't find her cruelty and conspicuous favoritism among her daughters credible (at one point, she even openly admits to "loving one daughter more than the other") and it seemed as if she was written verbatim with Disney's wicked Stepmother in mind. In a deleted scene that I was privy to, Victoria even confides in her spouse-slapping son-in-law to possibly beat on her daughter "just a little bit" in order to keep her in line, but not necessarily turn her off. Yeah, right. As for Moms of the Year, this one takes the pits. I can see why this over-the-top scene was subsequently removed.

Finally, there's Frankie, Vanessa's picture-perfect boyfriend. It's hard not to denounce him as a cliché, either. I mean, the man has it all: Looks, body, nice apartment, nice car (in one split second scene, we also see he drives a BMW), Christianity, and he's the existential father. Oh yes, and early on, he reminds us that he's not interested in sex at all...just the ability to help "restore". I find it wonderful that Tyler Perry has made an effort to portray some of our black men in an extraordinarily positive light...but in my book, Frankie was just too perfect. I mean, not only can he shoot hoops, but the man never curses, looks good in blue jeans, buys ice cream for children, and is ready to provide hugs on-demand. Really? Yet, Vanessa wouldn't give this man the time of day except for cold eyes and angry sighs? For the sake of the plot, I get it. But there comes a time when writers appear downright foolish.

Either way, despite it's flaws, the film is entertaining enough to enjoy. As for ratings, I'd say it ranks Number 2 in the "I'll-go-ahead-and-watch- this-since-nothing-else-is-on-and-I'm-too-lazy-to-get-up-and-change- the- channel" awards.

The Beautician and the Beast (1997)

adorable!

[22 February 2003]

I saw this movie in the theater on a hunch and it was a really cute film. The premise is very similar to Fran's "Nanny" role (although in this case, she's the "tutor"). It's clean, the laughs are consistent, and it's a great family film. I'm not saying the film certified for Oscar, but kids would love it.