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Dune (2021)
I'd hoped not to be as dissappointed
I'd heard horrible things how this movie was being wrecked, mostly treacly appeasement of 'modern' politics at the cost of any attempt to even be as good as the SyFy Channel's adaptation years ago so I skipped on watching it. Just the other night I tried to watch when waiting bored at a relatives and it was on HBO VOD so no $ paid.
Like "Force Awakens" I cut in less than 1/2 an hour. Glad I didn't have a movie ticket. I'd be thrilled to be wrong, but most re-makes seem to want to wreck the original story, legacy and just be a soulless cash grab. I'd be thrilled to be wrong but they are committed to FAIL to RUIN to degrade...
So much has been said over this or that DUNE adaptation - my disappointment in this one is in that it doesn't capture the attention. It's only use is a lesson on how not to try to write such a story. It comes across as a harsh, alien universe and if you aren't invested in the story you don't really know what is going on, feel for any of the characters or catch on to the dense world even though they pathetically try to spell it out for you. And fail. Really - if this was just an epic science fiction movie but there was no "Dune" in sci fi - dom would any of you LIKE this movie for the story? There are many ways to tell a story. This is a dry grinding of the plot with little care for anything.
And - this is where most of you will dismiss me as someone who'd want "Jodorowsky's Dune" to have been made - well no but yes... I would if I get a Time Machine fund it (compound interest over several trips for the $ and modern computer for 3DCG) to laugh like a Mad Scientist over the theaters burning in riots... But no, our world as we've lived it is not ready for Jodo's vision and with Dali, Wells, Carradine, Giger, etc. Dead it'd be a travesty to attempt to make. As it is very unlikely I'll get a Time Machine I am not for "Jodo's Dune" - it'd be too dry, cruel, insulting with all the great and unique voices imitated - and through the "Incal" series he gave the world what he'd have contributed to Dune.
What I'd like to have happened is Lynch to get SIX hours of film. At the time he made his vision there were tons of very successful "Epic Movies" - Gandhi - Last Emperor - Reds, things that took 3 or 4 VHS tapes and people even bought them at full $100+ retail (80s $) to keep ... No, if I 'time traveled' to fund it the studio which had the rights after they passed from Jodo's hands would have destroyed the extra footage even if some "Rogue financier" pitched in with no promise of reward or return.
Even the SyFy channel's version was better. Much closer to the book but dry and need to be invested in Dune to really enjoy it. Lynch's version was the best "Get the general public interested". Jodo - after the riots, ruin - over the decades would have been "The ONE time the Movie was better than the BOOK" exception but only recognized in hindsight.
I give 3 stars merely to acknowledge the PILES of money thrown away on the 3DCG and Music. NOT the actors that - one man's opinion - a lot of ...adult movie... actors can do better. This seems (again IMO) some kind of huge cash flush to give 'big name' or 'connected' actors MONEY. "I . Am . Acting . In . A . Film..." Really, we could have filmed this "Thunderbirds" or "Team America" style and it'd be better.
Unlike the "Previously Viewed" sales at Hastings (RIP) or bin of cheap DVDs at Wal-Mart I doubt I'll even buy this full version when it's FLUSHED there, shortly after release. Maybe if $5 or $10 for morbid interest but not likely...
Machete Maidens Unleashed! (2010)
Pure Grindhouse heaven
Forget the modern movie with the name Grindhouse on it - this is the inspiration - or at least one of the big names in this genre - Roger Corman and just some of his awesome films - transitiioning from the "Drive in" theater and "Monster Movie" of the 50s/early 60s into the "Exploitation/Grindhouse" era later in the 60s into the 70s!
Despite it's enshrinement of trashiness I give this a "Ten" for just that - it covers history of a big part of Corman's career, a movement in film history and a bit of American history - such as the US backed Marcos regime. I won't put a 'spoilers' notice because the title and description of the film tell what it is about - and it's the experience of watching that is the fun.
On that note - this movie is perhaps NSFW - W being "Wallet"... You'll want to look up and watch - and might end up purchasing - a LOT of obscure and so bad they are good films. I'm particular to the Women in Prison ones such as "Women in Cages" but I now want to look up one film about Bat-people and another with a Tattoo like midget being a super-spy...
It has lots of bits of film, interviews with the actors, scenes from the filiming, the history - it is a real fun time to watch. Only gripe is the DVD seems to force watching a ton of promos for other things the distribution company is pushing out.
The Big Doll House (1971)
"Z - A - P...!!!"
Fun movie and filmed right alongside "Women in Cages" which I like more, but most like this movie better.
This is a "Grindhouse" and "Women in Prison" genre movie that would make the "Woke" people freak out till their heads exploded if released today. It is a fun and dramatic movie of ladies locked up, lesbian desire, nudity, bondage and torture, then a desperate escape.
IMO Roberta Collins really shines, but Pam Grier as always is by far the best. This is before she went and became queen of the "Blaxploitation" genre.
The real irony of these movies are that while being like anti-matter to 'political correctness' or "Woke" as the Hipsters of Hate call it the movie is much better than anything they can put out. This movie would pass the "Betchdel" test. There are also women, homosexuals, non-white people in the movie as characters that are fully realized and interact with each other. Compare that to a franchise destroying space movie with a grotesque Mary-Sue and a bunch of token/cardboard cut-out characters... I loathe the SJW movement but for the sake of all that $ wasted if you know any SJW "Film Students" make them watch this so they have an idea of how to write a story beyond Mary-Sues and braying their treacly shallow politics...
Fun movie for all fans of this era - Roger Corman's Grindhouse days is "Machetae Maidens Unleashed" - neat documentary to check out.
Women in Cages (1971)
I can't see why you aren't enjoying yourself, I'm having fun....!
I won't go over specific plot details - plenty of people have done this already and many say "If you've seen one Women In Prison movie you've seen them all..." To a point they are right, it is built around expectations - that's part of a "Pulp" genre - the hardboiled detective, the Space Hero, the Mighty Barbarian... If only Romance novels got that scrutiny, or soap operas, crime shows...
However this is an R-rated movie that does live up to its title and expectations - nude women, lurid torture scenes, lesbian stuff, sex stuff. Beyond that it's a halfway decent story. It's a miracle it's not rated X and sadly no "Director's Cut" due to age, films getting trashed or burned...oh well.
AND - it is FAR ahead of any movie or franchise the modern "Politically Correct" or "Woke" have had a hand in. That is the real irony. I'll not do "spoilers" but despite this movie being "Exploitation" genre, despite it being "Grindhouse" and one of the early foundationals of the "Women in Prison" genre...
A - It'd pass the "Betchdel" test - and in the spirit of it - there are plenty of women who are characters who have personalities, names and don't just sit and chatter about men or wait idly for men to 'save' them - or at least eventually 'save themselves'...
B - It has major characters being homosexual. Not just for T&A/lurid male pleasure. You even get to feel for them both.
C - It uses many non-white people as characters. And unlike "Woke-Wood" of today they aren't Mary Sues, Magic (racial term) or crude cardboard cut-outs. They are characters - some are good, some are bad, and they act irregardless of their race. It's about what he or she wants, the reaction with other characters no "I . Am .. a ...place race here ... hear . Me . Give . Me .respect..." puppet like we'd see today.
The amusing irony is that if this film was released today the "Social Justice" crowd would probably be staging protests and maybe considering terrorist actions such as throwing a firebomb in the theater. But - per A, B, and C this movie is far more "Progressive" and a better plot/story than anything they put out - far more entertaining - will attract people outside the debt factory (aka "College") club of fellow "Woke" and pushes messages through about the effects of the Cold-War chess game and how lots of small countries got turned into dictatorships. In the Phillipines they installed Marcos because he was "Anti-Communist" - no worries there, he was a living, breathing advertisement for the concept - and I will be equally unfair - the Commies propped up plenty of "Pigs that thought themselves most equal".. I've seen this noted - blogs of film students in today's environment noting they'd hate the film for the exploitative elements but it passed most 'standards' they have trouble getting pushed through even today.
This movie is part of Corman's films that helped Pam Grier later launch to her "Blaxploitation" fame - and they even shot some films at the same time same Marcos jail, same Filipinos - but they jumped around roles for "Big Doll house".
Beyond this film I'd highly recommend "Machete Maidens Unleashed" for a documentary of the late Roger Corman's films of this era.
Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003)
The last true Star Wars movie
I think this happened just into the Disney era - but sometimes cartoons get overlooked - "Just make this spin-off to make money from the vermin..." - that IMO is how we get the "unique" works that mainstream Hollow-Wood chews up and regurgitates again and again - once in a rare while they threw money at a professional team and let them work.
This is done in the "Samurai Jack" style of cartooning - set in the Prequel era - but it has the excitement, music, magic of the original Star Wars. They downplayed the sappy mushy romance to the bare minimum (don't want Kids to see more than ...) and brought Star Wars back to its roots - the Epic sci-fi space adventure in a "Space Opera" universe of ancient tech. The plot of Star Wars is "The Hero with a thousand faces" but the sub-plot is the disentigration of a good empire into an evil one by corruption and decadence without and pure evil within. It was meant to question why the USA had gotten into the Vietnam war and all the other questionable post WW2 moves abstractly. Most kids would go "Uh... Vietnam... Like the Army wuz in Asia instead of Afghanistan, then some Hippies protested it?" without being taught any of the implications today. Imagine a good Republic that is ancient, venerable, enshrined - but all the cracks are forming - the dam is about to break - and those dedicated to the good are distracted fixing one carefully planned disaster after another... They'll win all the battles but lose the war...
So - don't see this as some "Dumb Cartoon" - this thing really, REALLY should have been an "Extra" prequel era movie made with live action. I hope someday if we keep getting better computers someone will make this movie "Live action" style at home as a phantom fan movie. Hopefully Disney will be bankrupt by then.
Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)
A very sad dissapointment...
I wanted to like this movie.
I'm no 'purist', I loved Marvel, the Dark Horse era, the spin-offs - yes, even the "Star Wars Christmas Special" and the Green Bunny character Lucas hates. Hookhas (early Star Wars comic Marvel Era) were my "Porg" and I loved them. I liked the Pre-quels, not as much as the original trilogy but I didn't hate them as the "Fashionable Hipsters" were told by a largely Disney influenced/owned 'media' it was 'popular' to do... Yes, I even liked nerdy Jar-Jar though Anakin (young and old) was awful and the 'romance' was 'meh...'
I wanted to like this movie...
I walked out 30 minutes into this thing.
I'll say again, I actually liked the "Prequels" though saw them as diminished compared to the original trilogy. These to me were so bad as to be unwatchable. I did not watch the others and do not plan to ever, so I won't be 'review' assaulting them. I won't go into the plot details and 'spoilers' so many others have talked about various issues, I have no need.
Now I'm going to give some names:
Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone
Battle Beyond the Stars
Galaxy of Terror
Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity
The Lost Empire
These are trashy B-movies made in the wake of the great wave Star Wars and Star Trek created. I dare anyone to watch these films and compare it to the Disney era. With one exception - the good special effects due to being the biggest, most funded studio and having the best of the best SFX and CG artists begging to work there. Aside from the FX these auxilliary moves are far better in character, in plot, in story, in plain fun to watch. Even stuff from this group that I consider "Meh" like "Star Crash" and "Turkish Star Wars" are on the level or better and I'd rather watch those.
I think the lesson is: "If it ain't broken, don't fix it"
Star Wars was "Woke" in today's terms - maybe needed a few more minority and women characters (for the humans, what about races within other species?) but not gross unlikable Mary Sue's and crude cardboard cut-outs. And the story is the same story - "The Hero with a thousand faces" along with aftershocks of the Vietnam war - how a 'good' and 'benevolent' empire could fall from within and how good people might need to fight it. But the same story takes a good storyteller to tell again and again and some "Social Justice" hothead is not the person to do it.
For the record I'm "Liberal" but an Xer with lots of Hippie/Yippie influences in his life - also some right wing friends - I can learn, teach, agree to disagree and find common ground - totally unlike the toxic and divisive shouting match the internet has turned into.
I really dislike Disney's direction with Star Wars since they obviously promoted someone with a political/personal agenda, let them try to "Fix" what wasn't broken...
Let me make a Simpsons analogy:
What they should have done: "You Only Move Twice" - 'Homer, these people will be working under you, keep 'em in line..." - "Sure Mr. Scorpio..." - boss leaves - "Uh... Are you working?" - staff - "Yes, sir!" - "Uh... could you work harder....?" "Sure thing!" types and works much faster
What they did: "Homer's Enemy" - "Frank Grimes" - "My GOD!.... You have a surge in Sector 3...!" - Homer - "I hate that light!" - pours water all over console...
Disney bought Lucas's "Slaves" - people who took a pay cut (vs Disney, Warner...) to work for him. All they'd have needed to do is send a competent money manager in - "Uh, I'm not a writer - but here's some scripts Lucas left us... Now we all want to make money, work hard. Please forgive, let's do a few progressive demographics - try to work them in...?" - and they'd have leapt to do it all - they were reported to be trying to put in more 'progressive' things and the Comic book/Novels reflect this than Lucas OK'd for the main movies - why the prequels had a 90s feel to them..
Disney wrecked Star Wars and is just jumping up and down on the corpse hoping for more blood - Frankly I'd been hoping for more Lucas movies like THX-1138 which he'd said he'd make. Disney had paid him enough to make a dozen such movies in cash alone, have them flop and still spend his last years wealthy. But he's lost his oomph seeing his life's work ruined and his employees slaving under kooks with a political agenda that's a sick parody of the real leftist/progressive ideals of his era... "One Man's Opinion"...
I'll give it a 3 - but only because of it's one unquestionably good feature - the very good special effects due to the studio/pile of money made. Beyond that - well check again for the "B" movies made in the wake of the original trilogy - even the crude, cheap, trashy imitators are far better in story/acting...
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
85% Star Wars - not hateable though....
85% Star Wars - not hateable though....
I did posters with 3D models printed out for a local theater showing.
Saw the movie a bunch of time along with the "Re-Masters" released earlier.
And I did enjoy these.
Frankly I did see them as slightly diminished - but like I said 85% Star Wars. Still far, FAR better than most movies in that genre - just Lucas surrounded by sycophants and constantly accused of being behind the times broke the perfect pattern. However it did NOT deserve the epic hatred the media told the 'hipsters' it was 'fashionable' to be in opinion of. Sure, my mind boggled on if Lucas had made this in the 70s - using rubber suits, stop motion, tiny models since no 3DCG - would NOT have been the epic success franchise.
"Even I can't live up to 30 years of Hype..." was a quote from Lucas...
But - I think the real dark clouds were from Disney - mad at Lucas for not (yet) selling out. So the media was turned into venom when we had good movies, the old movies back and better and TONS of awesome toys far better than Kenner ones (they did good for the times) for adults with lots of disposable income (90s boom economy) to relive our childhoods. I'll say "Just one man's opinion" but that is what these are for, no?
Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)
Ends with a note of joy and optomism that helped many 80s kids see a bright future
Won't gush over the plot or story - so many others have done that better.
To myself this movie was an amazing conclusion to an epic story I'd followed all my young life - the Marvel comics keeping it going in the tortuously (to a kid) wait between them. The real world was awful with fear of an atomic bomb war any day so bad the actor pretending to be President joked "We begin bombing in ten minutes....!" And the real Luke Skywalker re-founded the Jedi Acadamy, not hid on some cold wet world drinking disturbing milk...
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
A darker tone - epic plot twist
This sequel to the first Star Wars - (whoops, Ep 4) was even better. Again I don't consider Star Wars original, there are SO many sci-fi tropes its ripped off. But it made science fiction go mainstream and the rising tide lifted all the boats - too bad they were mired in the "New Wave" and didn't know enough to get out of it in time to feed the public wanting Adventure sci-fi.
I think this is the best of the original trilogy but all are top notch.
Star Wars (1977)
Perfect movie
A tribute to classic Adventure Sci-Fi space operas and Campbell's "The Hero's Journey" this space opera got science fiction mainstream. I was a kid at the time but I confirmed with some people I know who were active adults at the time it came out - if you had a "Playboy" on the coffee table and a "Science fiction" magazine and the "Hot Date" was coming in the door - you'd hide the Sci-fi mag if you only had time for one. Star Wars changed that.
I think all of these movies (original trilogy) are 10 range - if I could do 20 I'd give this one 15, Empire 18, Return 17.
The Fall (2006)
The "Art Film" goes mainstream - and jumps on the Blu-Ray bandwagon first!
This is one of my favorite films - top 10. I love it for the art of the scenes and the examination of storytelling. Furthermore - this film is set in the fantastic of the real world - all those backgrounds are not CGI or expensive sets - they are real world places.
Chronopolis (1982)
Crazy art film - good crazy art film!
Something about technowizards manipulating matter and dealing with people trying to invade their perfect city. A stop-motion ride of rhythmic repetition and surrealism. Now people who only want "Louie! Louie!" frat boy movies won't like it -but cinema needs to be a full art medium that can explore all sorts of genres and tastes. This is definitely for a bizarro niche, but it's good for that.
Helluva Boss (2019)
After Hazbin -
Since Hazbin seems stuck at #1 the Spinoff is continuing on its own - a real wacky stupid idea is just ran with and works somehow. Uh, Demons using some book to get to the real world and kill living people the dead damned want revenge on...? Technically they can't - its a direct interference with free will - but hey they make it and run with it. Note its not all fantasy, the Owl like Boss's Boss is a legit real demon from the Ars Goetia...
Really fun watch and again IMO its why the "Mainstream" media is just a bunch of monopolized out of touch elites guarding their territory but have NO IDEA what people would actually like.
Hazbin Hotel (2019)
I love the cartoon and the spin-off series "Helluva Boss".
That things like this get done independantly are - one man's opinion - proof the "Mainstream" media is a monopolized pile of ---- and needs to be FLUSHED. If only antitrust laws were enforced and they actually had to compete.
The People vs. Larry Flynt (1996)
Larry, Larry, we are forever depraved - eh - deprived without you!
--mild spoilers---
I write this at long last after Larry Flynt passed away at a miraculous (considering) age 80 - he was a champion of free speech albeit to defend his club and later media empire but love or hate his magazine he defended free speech in America and now that he is gone we need to be very proactive. The movie is a loose biography of his life, simple, some things in/out but overall a neat package.
"I only read it for the articles" is considered largely a joke to justify possession of an adult oriented men's magazine as by the 80s onwards most had gone mainstream and largely focused on movies and material possession versus the hard-hitting alternative journalism they used to give a "Social Relevance" against the usual definition of Pornography. Larry Flynt had to hit the ground running and so did publish art (cartoons) and articles - and then he had to defend himself in court. He was no saint, but his striving helped maintain free speech in America.
Let's consider - one of the focuses of this movie is the DeLorean case. An independent journalist gets the tape of the FBI setting up the Elon Musk of the 70s after his 'peers' decide to crush him. The major news outlets all turn down this chance, then Playboy and Penthouse also turn him down. Larry buys it. He then is in jail for a year and a half and pays a tremendous fine to protect his source since the Feds wanted to figure out if it was a rogue agent or a po'd security guard selling the tape. That defense sets up a standard for journalist's ability to protect their source that means the law usually avoids even trying to coerce them, fearing a "Dream team" of volunteer lawyers, big media companies paying, etc.
Also he kind of was the punching clown for free speech and hot button issues. Some other social factors went by totally unnoticed thanks to him;
The Cinema was still full of Grindhouse/Exploitation movies and while adult cinema quickly got moved to its cheaper low-budget prurient interest only the existing movies were able to avoid any resurgence of a "Hayes Code" and had a wide berth, even getting an extra rating (PG-13) instead of stronger lines drawn.
Comic Books had mostly bypassed the "Comics Code Authority" with the "Direct Market" and the mainstream tried to compete, pushing through more edgy stories that the CCA no longer dared challenge. IF - and take it IMO - there wasn't Larry Flynt (just Hugh and Bob) being so out there I am almost certain they'd have raved about stuff like "Faust" and used it to strengthen the CCA and distributor/mail monopolies.
I said "IF" and that's due to the big baddie - "Dungeons and Dragons" - and RPGs, fantasy games, etc. In general - they faced scapegoating, fear tactics, outright false statements (slander/libel) claiming their games were gateways to insanity, demon worship, baby-eating... Completely false "Zombie Lies" were and are constantly repeated about them. The gaming industry fought hard back but without Larry taking most of the hot air from the Fundiez and cheap Tabloid media I do think there would have been another "Code Authority" that would have made the Comics Code look tame and lead to banning from the mail and stores with no label. As it was the hype evaporated after the "recovered Memories" was revealed to be complete lies (that still ruined people for imaginary crimes) and the Fundies went off somewhere else. Gaming was clear for decades though now the "Woke" freak out about "orcs" being an analogy for black people...oh, well.
Last, but not least, literature. The Ginsberg/Burroughs case had opened up all written word literature to near epic total freedom. The shocked moralists certainly had planned an assault on modern literature as soon as they could find some simplistic lies to tell again and and again until they became the truth. Pink hardcore pics got more hot air than something by King...
Frankly Mad Magazine set a lot of legal standards for parody and fair use - but Larry Flynt helped set standards for free speech including offensive speech - stuff others do NOT like.
So, Larry, we love you and we all (save moralist panderers) owe you thanks, regardless of reading choices.
Things to Come (1936)
Booed out of theaters for predicting another World War...
-mild spoilers-
This movie is amazing. I saw it as a very young child broadcast on TV just before it became a "Lost Film". IMO it's Kubrick who was responsible - when making "2001 A Space Oddesy" he asked Arthur C. Clarke what if any science fiction films he liked - he said this one...period... IMO Kubrick was jealous since it was so perfectly realized despite such a tiny budget and ancient special effects. There was a "Destroy all reels" order done and no archival footage kept -the films we watch since its public domain are mostly from VHS recordings from the rare tv late night showings.
The movie is one of the few H. G. Wells story based movies that said writer had a personal hand in. It's also the most dreaded, derided form of science fiction - the "Future History"... 1984, 2000AD, 2020 comes faster than people think...
It was wrong after predicting what we now call World War 2 - but in a way it was an exxagerated version of the decades that followed. Civilization brought down by warfare, brilliant people building a utopia and trying to get mankind to the stars as fast as possible but being opposed by an anti-technology movement from within. Again imagine the 40s, 50s, 60s - but in some kind of "Ultra" universe based on Art Deco sci-fi.
Oh - and this movie changed history.
Serious - as people were booing it out of theaters the "Poison Gas" scenes and to those that stood them the "Plage Zombies" (wandering sickness) had people give reactions we'd hear similar things about when "The Exorcist" came along... These reactions reached the British leadership who called that nice man Adolph about chemical weapons in the unlikely case of a war... Unlike most leaders, before and after, Adolph had fought on the front lines and had been hit by Mustard Gas - twice... He agreed no soldier should ever suffer like that, war was cruel enough...
Some might debate this - but look at the V2 rockets. They spent twice as much as a plane for a one bomb mission that might hit in a single city. Imagine if those things were full of Mengele's Nerve Gas... Kill everything in about a 1 KM square area, stay deadly for 2 weeks then dissipate... They'd have won the war or at least taken Britain as they blanketed enough V2 hits on London if they were full of Nerve Gas likely total wipeout. Instead a lot of noise and terror (and a cool Pink Floyd song...!) but we know how WW2 went. Not idolizing Adoph of course and he certainly used plenty of chemicals on others - but as a soldier facing chemicals on the front lines he didn't want that to be part of war.
Excalibur (1981)
"My Kingdom for a Can-Opener...!"
That was a snipped from Playboy's "Sex in the Cinema" section talking about a scene early on in the movie.
Seriously though, this is still (One Man's Opinion) the BEST "King Arthur" movie and that is saying a lot.
While many King Arthur stories make good movies - such as "Sword of the Valiant" - the "Arthurian Mythos" itself is an immersive set of stories that really can not be turned into a movie for a modern audience. In the legit "Auld Days" a master bard would entertain a noble lord (or a rich merchant) for a week or two weeks to provide the whole experience - usually during the winter months. That was similar to the "Robin Hood" story.
In short while plenty of King Arthur stories make excellent movies - even fictions set in his era - such as "Prince Valiant" do well - a solid 2.5 hour at most movie for a modern audience...? I'd rather try to film DUNE. Save perhaps "Camelot" there was no real attempt to do this because beyond the logistical nightmare most children had grown up with stories of King Arthur and his Knights. The other film - "Camelot" was mostly about the romance between Arthur and Guineviere, again an aspect of the Arthurian legends and had much more time than a modern movie does.
The modern "Politically Correct" aka "Social Justice" aka "Woke" era has had lowered educational standards and an outright attack on western civilization so very few have any idea beyond perhaps knowing the name on King Arthur. This is why they try to make films that encapsulate it but fail. "First Knight" was a noble try, but...
This movie is the exception. It does almost criminally skip over King Arthur's origins and reign+downfall - but it truly captures the spirit of them. I don't want to go over a bunch of scenes and make a spoiler but as one who read those old tales I loved this movie much more than any since and I've watched about all of them - gagging at recent ones.
My recommendation:
Do NOT re-make this movie.
Watch it.
And read the legit King Arthur stories. Public domain, can find with a search.
For a new movie - try to support making "Camelot 3000" into a movie. That as a movie would capture the spirit, have many refs to Arthurian mythos to inspire people to look him up and be very entertaining with even some progressive themes rammed in for the 'woke'...
Le avventure dell'incredibile Ercole (1985)
I miss the Robots
Although I saw its predecessor in theaters I did not see this until it got on tape much later. Given the incredible negative reaction the first one got (my town, people I saw who watched it) I bet they didn't show it and Hollow-Wood of course didn't use their racket to force it in.
In the mean-time a lot of movies I had actually been looking for were only available via "Mystery Science Theater 3000" and I got annoyed hearing the bots heckle the movie. This was vs going over a dozen catalogs and paying $100+ for an 8MM reel and buying a reel to reel... Before the internet expanded and we had stuff like YouTube.
Seeing the movie - well I missed the robots...
"Ca-Plop! Ca-Plop!" when they did the horse scenes...
Speaking of the horse scene - there is a scene where he's riding the horse - and Lou aka Hercules - puts his pony to SHAME.... Serious, he's more muscular than his horse. That's where people say "Lay off the roids before someone puts a saddle on you..." (Lou was adamant no steroids, not going to argue with him...) - well Lou was more muscular I say again. Him on top of the horse, his rippled muscles solid - his horse looking a bit soft and flabby... Even the two ladies in sheer lingerie that yeah "ancient greek' women had riding behind, their enormous chests bouncing "Ker-plop! Ka Plop!" I was looking at Lou - just fascinated how muscular he is.
Anyways - again like it's predecessor it's a 50s "Sword and Sandal" movie made with "Modern" special effects and production - meaning "Modern" = 80s analog effects, bigger budget, hotter ladies able to wear less clothing... Fun if you turn your serious part off.
And the "Real Myths" thing... My parents, especially my Mom, read me legit mythology - such as Edith Hamilton... I know them... No one should give this thing a hard time on any authenticity considering how modern 'mythology' inspired films make Disney's fairytale inspired works look like hard historical documentaries.
Hercules (1983)
Ah! A childhood memory...
I loved this movie.
Yes, I know most people hate this movie with a passion. Really, it's a classic "Sword and Sandal" movie of the 50s made with "Modern" special effects... "Modern" meaning some of the cheap analog effects of the 80s.
Well, people were booing in the movie, the adult taking me to it nearly walked out - my mentor and normally I'm 100% on his side but I loved it so he had to endure it...
"All he has to do is ram a tree in the mechanical beasties and they'll stop up...!"
Anyways, probably because I have serious bad taste in movies, but maybe because I just watched this as a child I loved it. Hercules as the hero, lots of cute ladies in 'greek' (yeah right) clothing to show enough skin but somehow not be R rated... Adventure, action, was a lot of fun.
Galaxy of Terror (1981)
From the wreckage of the greatest never made and between titans...
From the wreckage of the greatest never made and between titans...
Love this movie!
It's a B-Movie Roger Corman production to exploit the wind from the sails of Alien and Star Wars. Reads like some oddball comic book. Serious, if you've seen the movie, imagine it as a comic book - like a failed indie press one or an experimental one the big companies try to forget they allowed...?
Now, what can I say that other reviewers haven't?
This - there's a neat "Flow" in progress - this 'rip-off movie' helped what it was ripping off.
First - much of modern (80s - 90s) science fiction cinema has one or two degrees of separation to Jodorowsky's failed "Dune" motion picture. Lots of the work on the Baron Harkonnen in Jodo's vision and the artist himself - Giger - were tapped for Alien. Some of the production for that very movie ended up working on this one...
AND - the "Alien Queen" we see in Alien?
That's due to the work done on "Maggy the Maggot" the giant worm character which is the #1 reason most want to see this movie or have seen a 'scene' from it.
My fav is researching that same infamous scene. Supposedly there was a bunch more footage, up to another minute but they cut it to avoid the "X" rating that would have made it unmarketable due to X being taken over by pure low end porn. And supposedly the reels got 'accidentally' destroyed. The actress, Taafe O'Connel actually LIKED doing the scene - since she'd had otherwise need to do a heavy kissing/simulated sex scene with a male human actor who turned into an alien monster. She was in a relationship at the time -and- the AIDS scare was getting on everyone's radar. No one had kissed "Maggie" so she was safe though a bit cold and slimy. But - the "Director's Cut" was coming to the VHS market - I do imagine (Just my fantasy) Taafee coming in and BURNING the 'extra' footage...
So - fun movie 8/10 for 'grindhouse' and 'b-movie' - neat plot if you turn off your modern cynical bone and go with it like a comic - probably 5 stars general "Meh" public.