got519 Reviews

Border Security: Canada's Front Line (2012– )

Dull and repetitive

[6/10 · 4 September 2013]

"Border Security: Canada's Front Line" is a reality-based series that features Canada Border Services officers going about their day-to-day duties. They question passengers about the contents of their luggage, their reasons for coming to Canada, and how long they're staying for. Oh yeah, they also open boxes at airport cargo terminals in an attempt to find suspicious contraband. If this sounds interesting to you - read on.

The premise of the show isn't completely dull - there is some potential there, but the series shoots itself in the foot by churning out episodes that are exactly the same. Like every other reality show out there, it sticks to a rigid formula which makes the individual episodes indistinguishable from one another. The same basic cases appear over-and-over again:

1. Somebody attempts to enter Canada to secure employment - only they have no work permit. The red flag? They have a one-way ticket and a ton of luggage filled with work related material.

2. An American citizen with a criminal record tries to cross the border not realizing that his prior record makes him inadmissible to Canada.

3. A foreign citizen attempts to clear customs while carrying food items brought from their native country.

4. A passenger has just deplaned and they're carrying a large wad of cash which they may or may not have declared. CBSA now have to determine if the cash is from proceeds of crime.

5. A suspicious package in the cargo hold - get the detector dogs!

Each episode features five or six cases similar to what I described above. The cases are not shown one-by-one complete, they are annoyingly broken up into two or three minute segments as the episode jumps back-and-forth between each part and when it comes back to a previous segment, they have to recap everything that's happened so far. Like most shows on the air these days, it is edited and narrated for the benefit of the channel flipper whose attention span cannot last for an entire half-hour. It caters to the people that are not watching it as opposed to the people that are.

"Border Security" is great primer for anyone that plans on travelling to Canada (or any other country) so they know what to expect at the border or the airports. It's also a cautionary tool to prepare anyone who plans on coming to Canada to work. It's more of a "how-to" or "what-not-to-do" than it is great entertainment.

It's funny that this series depicts Canada as being so reluctant to accept foreign workers that could take employment away from Canadian citizens but they use, "Would I Lie to You?" by The Eurythmics (a British group) as their theme song.

Three's a Crowd (1984–1985)

One of the worst TV Spin-offs . . . Ever!!

[4/10 · 21 August 2013]

Three's a Crowd is boring, direction-less, and painfully unfunny. The producers made no attempt to create a new and exciting vehicle for John Ritter's brilliant physical comedy, they were simply coasting on the laurels of Three's Company's success.

Three's a Crowd obviously couldn't have featured any of the dynamics that made Three's Company so hilarious like the sexual tensions and misunderstandings that come as a result of a man living with two women; not to mention Jack's charade of pretending that he was gay around Mr. Roper, and later Mr. Furley, so he could go on living in the apartment. So what did they do to make up for those missing attributes on this spin-off?

Nothing. The Jack Tripper of this show is barely the same character from Three's Company. The overzealous, yet lovable klutz is rarely seen here. Instead, Jack is a boring husband and business owner nearing middle-age. His wife, Vicki, played by Mary Cadorette, is equally as uncharismatic. We get to see glimpses of the old Jack in the episodes, "Jack Gets Trashed" and "A Star Is Born" but these sightings are too few and far between. In fact, Jack is even used as a straight man to wackier characters like his chef, E.Z. Taylor.

E.Z., a Spicoli-like surf bum is more annoying than funny. Why didn't they use Felipe Gomez, the reoccurring character from seasons 5 to 7 of Three's Company, for the chef? Not only was that character hilarious but he shared an awesome chemistry with Jack. I guess that pairing would have worked too well.

Jack's antagonistic relationship with his father-in-law, Mr. Bradford, played by Robert Mandan of Soap, would have been more entertaining if we hadn't seen it done before. They share the exact same discord that Jack had with Mr. Angelino, only not near as amusing.

Jack's mother-in-law, Claudia, played by Jessica Walter, is on this show for the sole purpose of exchanging clichéd ex-spouse jokes with Mr. Bradford. Henny Youngman should have sued the show just on the basis of these two characters stealing his material.

It's no shock that this show only lasted a single season. The only great thing about Three's a Crowd is that it gives us much more of an appreciation for Three's Company.