richkiel Reviews

Hotel (2004)

Insultingly bad

[1/10 · 30 April 2024]

This film is 100% mood and 0% narration. And that don't work. Now, of course, one can argue that a narrative of sorts exists, but it is deliberately confusing. Things happen for apparently no reason or without proper context, only to never be explained. We literally have no idea what is going on, if anything. Bizarre things happen, and then we get no explanation why, and they seem to have no bearing on the minimalistic plot. As expected, the film ends with zero payoff and zero explanation, with a lazy anticlimax one could predict with ease. As for the horror, it is completely absent. The film seeks to make you feel uneasy, in part by not letting you know what is going on or where the strange events might lead to, but as soon as you as the viewer recognize the pattern, you will rightfully feel cheated and turn your back on a film that scores cheap shots while never doing what you want it to do - namely tell you a story that is worth watching and that one can make sense out of.

A low budget experiment that went awry.

The Exorcist III (1990)

Misguided, confusing, unpleasant and boring

[1/10 · 27 April 2024]

First of all, what the hell is an exorcism anyway? What goes on during one? What are the rules? What exactly casts the demon out? Why does it sometimes work and at other times not? Why does the demon seemingly rely on the exorcist's lack of faith? Hello, it's a demon and it's clearly real. And if that thing is real, so is God. What faith do you even need at this point? You need faith when you DON'T see evidence of supernatural beings. It's all hazy and convoluted, and frankly difficult to endure, because we have no clue what the hell is going on.

However, this film treats us not only to a confusing and insufferable exorcism - oh no - it is really a murder mystery with that actor they used for an almost identical role in the X-files, and who apparently plays nothing but psycho killers for a living. There is something funny about seeing him in that role, which makes it difficult to take any of it seriously.

Anyway, for almost the entire length of the film, we are treated to murders and their detailed, gory descriptions. Eventually our shrewd detective figures out who the killer is by using his super power of being given undeniable proof by the killer himself that he is the killer.

Why does he do it? There is a boring explanation for that, too. Nobody cares about it. Just as nobody cares about the detective or the killer, or for any of the victims.

Apart from a few jump scares and laughable homages to the original film, there is really no horror or suspense in this film. Just gore and gloom. It's a very unpleasant film that provides absolutely no payoff in the end. What happened? Who cares.

Oh, and there is a priest as well, who shows up out of the blue for the final act, for no logical reason whatsoever. This film really does not care about logic and hates to explain things. Whatever the plot needs to happen, happens. Just chalk it up to demonic forces.

The less said about the 'threat' to the protagonist's family in act three, the better. And I'll leave it at that.

Stay away from this stinker, unless you like dark rooms and 'possessed' people talking nonsense and describing gory murders.

Rocky Balboa (2006)

Takes the wrong route

[6/10 · 10 April 2024]

Unlike Rocky 5 where attempts at drama largely failed, this film works pretty well as a drama. You have Rocky making a full circle and sort of going back to where he was, only a lot more experienced and gritty, though anything but cynical. Paulie seems to finally let go of his grudges and perpetual anger at life, and there is a compelling conflict between Rocky and his son. And frankly, I don't think this film needed a fight at all. I think Rocky's real battle should have been with himself. He had nothing more to prove in the ring and the fight seems to be there simply because a Rocky film has to have one. But this film didn't need it. The film should have been Rocky coming to terms with loss as well as old age, and finding his peace. He didn't need to do by fighting someone in the ring.

Haunt (I) (2019)

Rubbish

[1/10 · 22 March 2024]

Who are these clowns? Why do they kill people? How do they keep getting away with it? Why doe they have an elaborate haunted house when all they want is to just kill people? Why do protagonists act like idiots? Why are there countless plot conveniences, spoiling the viewing experience? Why are there so many illogical things?

See, this film starts fairly well, but the closer it gets to the end, the more confusing and boring it keeps getting. There is no payoff whatsoever for anything that is set up in act one. Just senseless violence. Characters are hurt and unable to walk in one scene, only to be running around in the next. A character is killed off at the end without ever having any impact on the story. The baddies are dispatched with surprising ease and never come across as truly menacing. The irony is that they are far more creepy at the start of the film. By the end they are just weirdos in masks. The people who made this really had no idea what they were doing.

Southern Comfort (1981)

Brain cell killer

[1/10 · 24 February 2024]

This just might be the most irritating film ever made. It spends every minute annoying the audience. There is not a single redeeming feature about this film. The screenplay is abysmal, the acting terrible, and the direction is confused and dull. This is nothing but a really bad B movie. Think Uwe Boll, minus excessive action. Because this film barely has any. And what little there is is just terrible. Not a single piece of dialogue in this film makes any sense at all. Not a single character makes sense either. They are all either mentally ill, moronic, or both. And they are supposed to be soldiers. These guys don't need antagonists, they would kill each other or even themselves without any intervention from outside. And they kind of do. I really think the the screenwriter looked at every scene by thinking what would be the most illogical and insane thing to do in it, and then chose to write the scene that way. This is way beyond stupid. It boggles the mind that anyone could even watch this moronic drivel until the end. Insufferable, incompetent, boring, annoying trash of the worst kind, that fails to provide even cheap exploitation or some thrills, however crazy and badly directed. Insultingly bad.

Insidious (I) (2010)

Complete failure

[1/10 · 12 February 2024]

This is a very poor effort. The screenplay is weak. It is overburdened with elements that do noting to further the plot and only confuse the viewer. It literally throws in everything but the kitchen sink, but when it finally reaches the climax, nothing really happens. The scary demon we all knew the protagonists would have to face doesn't really do anything, and the film ends on a lazy anticlimax which may or may not be an opening for a sequel. I was hugely disappointed. Also, the film relies almost entirely on jump scares, rather than a solid, immersive story and suspense. There is no cheaper trick in the book than a jump scare, and that's all this film ever does.

You must have very poor taste and very low expectations if this film actually impresses you.

The Mist (2007)

Awful

[1/10 · 12 January 2024]

There is absolutely no aspect of this film that isn't bad, except for the premise, which is interesting enough to serve as the basis of a good screenplay. Unfortunately we didn't get a good screenplay. We got this pile of crap instead. Nothing i this film makes sense. Characters are all idiots who act in ways that no actual human would act, and they are just moronic stereotypes and cardboard cut-outs in this mind-bogglingly lazy and unimaginative script. In fact, the characters are outright unlikable and you want them to die. Instead of focusing on suspense and horror, the film spends the bulk of the time showing us insanity and stupidity of characters we can't stand, as they bicker in moronic ways that are telegraphed in advance from act one. To make things worse, the CGI is so cheap and obvious that it never looks credible or nearly as scary as it should. This screenwriter and this director completely failed to generate suspense and instead bored us to death with these pathetic excuses for characters and their insufferable and meaningless bickering. To call these characters idiots would be a huge understatement. And the film has a whole bunch of them. If you are a lazy and untalented film maker, stick to a few characters. Don't write a dozen of them when you can't even handle three.

I was incredibly annoyed and bored by this film. Don't be fooled by positive reviews. This is incompetent drivel.

Sea Fever (2019)

Disappoints

[3/10 · 3 January 2024]

This film was such a disappointment, and not for the usual reasons when it comes to horror films these days (low budget, bad special effects, terrible acting etc.). Oh no, this film had an adequate budget and is technically competent. It also had actors who were up for the job. Cinematography is great. It feels very much like an X-files episode, from the time they still invested a lot of money in that show. Also, the premise is interesting. The problem is that the screenplay is badly written. It is needlessly confusing, it fails to generate true terror despite all the elements being in place for scary scenes to be created, and it all ends with a baffling anticlimax. I look at this film and I see a series of missed opportunities for suspense and horror, as well as some interesting character development. A project that was this serious should not have allowed for the effort to be wasted on an unpolished script like this.

Quantum of Solace (2008)

Complete disaster

[1/10 · 29 December 2023]

A rather boring plot, an uninteresting antagonist, a lousy romance, a lack of classic lavish locations, an insufferable 'M' in the form of a grumpy old woman who should be making tea and not running the secret service... It's all wrong, all the way through.

As for Craig himself, he is a solid Bond in my view. He lacks the charisma of Connery and the humour and masterful use of irony that Moore could pull off, but he has got the grit and a slight boyish naught side that you see here and there. He could have been more interesting if his character had been written better. But it wasn't. Olga Kurylenko's character was also poorly written and unfortunately we didn't get the romantic relationship we could have had.

But what really annoyed me and many others was the shockingly bad action scenes. Their direction and editing is so confusing that one has no idea what is happening, who is chasing who, who is where in relation to other characters, or what they are trying to do. It's a rapid series of shots that may induce a seizure, but will not result in a pleasurable experience for anyone. What were they thinking? A huge step down from the previous film in the series. Oh, and as for the intro theme? What in the world was that???

Zero stars. I hate this film. They failed on every level and it is inexcusable for a franchise like this.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

Insufferable

[1/10 · 29 December 2023]

An incredibly boring film with a horrendous screenplay, terrible pacing, tons of filler, painfully long and utterly unsuspenseful action scenes, abysmal dialogue, characters no one cares one bit about, a needlessly convoluted plot, lame attempts at humour, an unpersuasive love story, ridiculous CGI, and utter failure to draw the audience into a single scene.

To make things worse, it is ostensibly a film for children, yet its plot contains so many twists and turns, as well as moments where the protagonists' motivation is unclear, that no child can follow it. And what was it for? A series of toothless action scenes and a 'climax' in which nothing really seems to be at stake. The film is painfully long, which makes things even worse. If this is designed for kids, it's a colossal failure. And if they were going for a wider appeal, well, it's an even greater failure. Not even Johnny Depp could save the film when his character was poorly written and lost in scenes that are boring and confusing.

Catastrophe of a movie.

Man vs. Bee (2022)

Final nail in the coffin

[1/10 · 16 December 2023]

It started with the atrocious Johnny English. Unfunny, unimaginative, without a spark of talent for comedy anywhere in sight. It was a shocking experience, and one that made me wonder if Atkinson was going crazy, since he agreed to be in something that bad. Then came the second Bean film. That was another disaster. Then came the two Johnny English sequels, both shockingly bad. And now this.

As far as I am concerned, this is the end of Atkinson's career. He has demonstrated that he is simply unable to create anything genuinely funny any more. And I think he should stop making films altogether.

As for 'Man vs. Bee'... The film has a poorly developed protagonist. We have no idea what's wrong with him. Is he just a bit socially awkward? Is he very stupid? Is he outright insane? You see, he switches between the three depending on what the scenario needs him to be for any given scene. Nothing here makes any sense. Just compare these pathetic, baffling, and largely unfunny scenes with the character of Clouseau in the 'Pink Panther' movies. Clouseau was always compelling and believable, no matter how much carnage he created. But in this movie, you keep asking yourself why the protagonist does what he does pretty much all of the time. And it ends with a bizarre rampage and destruction that simply doesn't logically follow from anything we've seen from the character up until that point.

This is a frustrating, poorly conceived film that doesn't even know what it is and offers virtually no payoff. The gags are lazy and the whole thing comes across as something they improvised on the day, and intended for audiences who will laugh at anything. A very poor effort.

Atkinson should be ashamed. Pick any Mr. Bean episode, and it is infinitely better and funnier than this pile of trash.

Rambo: Last Blood (2019)

Somewhat disappointing final chapter

[5/10 · 15 December 2023]

I just want to say that I think this film is better than Rambo 4, which was really just a mindless slaughter with some poor attempts at drama and character development. This time around Sly kinda made us care, but again it is the violence it is all about.

What I find strange is that this is not a classic Rambo movie. To sum it up, you could say it is a mix of 'Taken' and 'Home Alone'. There is no war, no army to confront. Instead he confronts a Mexican gang that's into sex slavery and human trafficking. You can tell that Stallone can't wait to get to the violence, and that is where he feels comfortable as a director and actor. I really wonder what compels him to make movies. What disappointed me the most is that I still don't know. His message is that life is struggle and pain and loss, and one has to keep going and keep hitting back, always getting back on his feet. It is more or less the same message as the Rocky movies. But apart from that, Stallone never seemed interested to deliver on the drama. At the end of the day, action is what he really loves, and this film would have benefited from a stronger story and better drama. There is no real sense of closure, and it came across as Stallone indulging his desire to make violent movies. After all these years, that is all he is about. And that speaks more than any idea he has presented us with in his movies. Not a good way to end the series. The final chapter should have tried to match and maybe somewhat mimic the first Rambo movie in terms of emotion and investment in the characters. Instead we got to see first and foremost lots of violence from a man who clearly doesn't feel the need to do much more than that. I am disappointed in Sly more than the movie itself. It's otherwise a decent movie. Nothing more, nothing less.

Bone Tomahawk (2015)

Solid film

[7/10 · 14 December 2023]

When I first saw it, I was quite disappointed. I expected a more interesting character to be played by Kurt Russel. Also, I thought the plot was dull and the gore was needlessly intense.

On second viewing, I still think they went too far with the gore, but not way too far. That element is necessary for the adversaries to come across as truly menacing. However, I think the screenplay is not as bad as I thought on first viewing. It's pretty decent. I do think Kurt Russel should have had a more prominent role and given more to do, and I also think that the film lacks more action. The slow pacing is ok as such, but there is not enough stuff going on for it to work entirely. Either make characters more complex and work on their relationships, or, if you want to avoid that, focus more on action. This screenplay could have used some polishing.

One more point: the climax was somewhat weak for me.

Overall, it's still a good film.

Doc Hollywood (1991)

Needed a re-write

[5/10 · 14 December 2023]

I really liked this film as a kid, but I watched it again recently and was quite disappointed. It is full of those small town Southern folk mentality tropes, but it all seems superficial and there are no really memorable scenes. Contrast it with Groundhog Day, which is full of intriguing characters and where our hero falls in love with that small town in a way that is believable. I never saw Michael j Fox's character as someone who would enjoy living there. I also never bought the romance, which takes place because the script needs it to happen, and in which there is no genuine arc. This is a sweet, feel-good film, but one that is also forgettable and whose writers should have done more with the otherwise likable characters they created. Needed a re-write.

The Devil's Advocate (1997)

Tedious, annoying and toothless

[1/10 · 11 December 2023]

A devil that is not one bit scary and has absolutely nothing to say except tedious tropes endlessly used in similar films. A monotone protagonist, with Reeves terribly miscast. A love story that is unpersuasive. Lazy writing, with the characters' motivations often being unclear or absurd, and some annoying dialogues that follow the dumbest cliches in screenwriting. The protagonist's relationship with his mother is obscure, remains undeveloped, and is just annoying. His marriage is even worse. His bizarre abandonment of the wife is never made to seem persuasive, just like his overall treatment of her. At the end of the day, we never learn what really drives the protagonist. Yes, he is ambitious, but beyond that, everything he does happens because the plot needs it to happen, and not because we genuinely understand what goes on in his head. As for the anticlimactic ending... I expected it. By then I expected absolutely nothing more from this tedious film. Pacino holds yet another long-winded speech, which is all he does in this movie. I just wanted the devil to shut up and actually do something scary. But he never does. This film is a series of court cases, with the lame trope of the devil destroying the protagonist's wife while no one believes her and thinks she is insane. If you want to see something similar, watch Rosemary's Baby instead. That film is actually creepy, unlike this lazy pile of tropes. Not once does this film become scary. Ever. And not once does it do something unexpected. I derived absolutely no pleasure from this film. It was a dumb story and a plot that goes through the motions without ever drawing the audience into the story.

Avoid this film. And if you are into theology, trust me: this devil hasn't got a single thing to say you haven't heard before. The fact that Pacino delivers it as if it were some great revelation that will capture the audience makes it all the more stupid.

Drive (I) (2011)

Huge disappointment

[1/10 · 6 December 2023]

This is stylistically an awesome film. The cinematography, the soundtrack, the mood, the slow pacing is great. The action scenes, though few, are very well made. It's a film you want to like. And yet it keeps disappointing you. Over and over again.

You see, the opening car chase and the title song promise a wonderful tale of a guy who does these driving jobs, in a style that mixes the feel of the seventies with cyberpunk vibes.

But then it turns into an awkward love story and then a not so interesting crime movie with the protagonist facing a mafia. The driving we were promised in act one simply never materializes again (with the exception of one short car chase). See, Mad Max was about driving. It promised driving and it delivered driving. This film, on the other hand, promised driving and then went on to be a completely different movie. It doesn't fulfill the sweet promise it makes at the start.

What the film does is present us with a monotone protagonist, a dull love interest, a forgettable Mexican guy, and rather uninteresting mafia guys who are never particularly menacing or deserving of our desire for the protagonist to vanquish them.

I didn't care about these characters at all and as the film progressed I found myself feeling more and more bored. There was never a moment of emotional payoff for the investment in the characters. Not one. All that remains in my memory is a vibe, a hint of something that never materialized in a satisfactory way. I'll remember the soundtrack. But the film as a whole is an empty experience and a complete bore.

The Dark Knight (2008)

Couldn't watch until the end

[1/10 · 24 October 2023]

I walked out on this film, although I endured almost the entire length. This was a long, tedious, looooooooong, boring, dull, tedious and boring boring movie.

If you are going to make a superhero movie, the very first rule is that it must not be boring. This film fails miserably. It thinks it's a drama and not an action movie with cartoon characters.

And that is the underpinning fault of all three Nolan movies about Batman: he treats them as if it were all real, as if these are real people in a drama, and not comic book characters in a fantasy world. What is the psychology of Batman, of the villains, of the chief of police, of the district attorney, etc. Etc. That's not what these movies are supposed to be about. It's ludicrous, it's boring, and it only breeds contempt because I personally couldn't help but laugh at these pathetic attempts to treat this movie as a drama that happens to have a guy in a cape in it and an insane clown. You can't do that and expect these films to work. They made the exact same mistake with the Joker spinoff. These are NOT real people. Get it? This is a comic book turned into a movie.

And by the way, if you insist that this is real, that these characters are believable, and you can almost imagine that such events could transpire in real life, then make it believable. Oh, but we don't get that, do we? The Joker just walks into a secret meeting of all the gang bosses, alone. Really? They didn't have a dozen guards at the entrance? Guess they didn't. See, the film mixes ludicrous comic book content with this 'realistic' style, and it comes across as completely ludicrous.

But again, this delusional approach aside, I could forgive even that if the film wasn't all about characters suffering and facing their inner demons, and it had lots of good action instead. But it doesn't.

So this is an absolute ZERO of a movie. Not even one star.

Batman Begins (2005)

Colossal failure on every level

[1/10 · 15 September 2023]

This film is boring. A superhero film can never allow itself to be boring. It must be exciting, or it is nothing. And this movie drags on, boring the life out of you. The boring exposition, the pathetic attempts at drama, the meaningless cut scenes of Batman posing on top of buildings... Meaningless conversations that often do little to forwards the plot... This is one tedious, poorly written and poorly paced film.

Of course, we have the poor direction as well. This guy doesn't know how to create suspense or direct a fight scene. Every fight scene is utterly confusing and the rapid editing turns it into a blur. It is frustrating to watch these scenes.

So there is nothing left in this film except for lame attempts at philosophy that are as cheap as anything you might read in a tiny booklet on how to live your life and be happy that you can buy at any bookshop.

Finally, the film panders to less intelligent people in the audience. It creates cues for them to laugh at unfunny lines and in general shamelessly stoops to their level, making anyone with an IQ above 100 feeling insulted by this deliberate and calculating dumbing down of the content.

I did not like any characters in this film, even one bit. This is a lazy cash grab with a big budget but no desire to rise above cheapest entertainment. If only it remained honest enough not to pretend it wants to be anything more... Zero stars.

Grim (1996)

Great genre film

[10/10 · 13 September 2023]

This is your unapologetic B movie horror that gets down to business and gives you the pleasures this genre is meant to provide. There isn't much story here, and reviewing the quality of the acting is kind of pointless, as it is irrelevant. It is cheesy and bad, and actually has a kind of charm to it because of the cheese. That being said, this is not like one of those student movies made on a zero budget. The budget is of course limited, but the monster looks pretty decent and the production team knew what they were doing. You have a monster in a cave maze chasing a bunch of people. That's pretty much it. It delivers what it promises.

I actually watched this film when it was released and thought it was lots of fun. They don't make movies like that any more.

If you want to watch a mindless, nostalgic, cheesy B movie of this sort, then this is an excellent choice.

The Void (I) (2016)

Confusing, unpleasant nonsense

[1/10 · 20 August 2023]

The film poses a lot of questions in act one, and then proceeds to answer none of them. If you want to watch random nonsense, unpleasant imagery and people killing each other or getting killed by possessed people or lame looking monsters, go ahead.

But anyone who has a brain, who demands a payoff for enduring nasty imagery, and who actually expects the film to make some sense and provide viewing pleasure will have a hard time enduring this confusing mess.

The characters are weak, the storyline almost nonexistent, the pacing terrible... This is simply not worth watching. It's literally an insult to the audience. Absolute zero for effort. Cheapest B movie trash. Poorly directed.

Anyone who tells you otherwise is either a disturbed individual or a paid shill whose job is to raise the rating.

In the Mouth of Madness (1994)

Complete failure

[1/10 · 20 August 2023]

The story is weak and confusing, the writing is amateurish, the tone is all over the place, the special effects are mostly terrible, and the 'horror' is mostly absent.

There is hardly a scary scene in this film, or a scene that makes any sense at all. This film is literal nonsense. To make things worse, the film also resorts to cheap jump scares and those insufferable moments where we suddenly learn that whatever happened in the scene we just watched was in fact a dream. There are lots of these dream sequences, and even dream within a dream sequences. Yet there is no narrative purpose for any of that.

Finally, there is no character arc, and no reasonable motivation for what the characters do. The main character does lots of weird things, as do the other characters, and the madness he develops is never explained, just as it is not explained what the hell even happens. This is just unwatchable, poorly written garbage. A B movie with no pleasures B movies can provide. A toothless would-be horror that annoys and bores the audience. A terribly bad film. It is not merely poorly written, but also poorly directed. A very poor effort. Sam Neil does what he can to save it, but he is thrown into one bad scene after another. Avoid this.

Tethered (II) (2022)

INSULTINGLY BAD

[1/10 · 1 August 2023]

There are dumb movies that let you know from the start that they are dumb and will remain dumb, so if you keep watching, it's your choice, and you are not being cheated.

And then there are movies that set up a bunch of things that tease a worthy payoff, and then they provide none whatsoever. This is one of those films.

There are so many things in this film that could have developed into an interesting story, but that never happened. The film makes a huge deal out of a mysterious rope, yet never provides payoff. It teases the revelation of past events that will illuminate what has happened with the protagonist, but never happens. Nothing is resolved, and the 'reveal' at the end is so stupid and illogical, and unrelated to any of the elements we've been seeking a payoff for that it just boggles the mind.

I feel cheated. This film literally seems to aim to insult the viewer, and that is the ultimate sin it can commit. Also, it treats the two protagonists with contempt. It introduces them, promises to make our investment in their relationship and development worthwhile, and then it gives you nothing.

Live or Let Die (2020)

GARBAGE

[1/10 · 31 July 2023]

Unwatchable amateurish crap with the worst writing, direction and acting imaginable. It starts with two guys in a truck chasing a limping woman who can barely walk. They chase her for hundreds of yards and somehow can;t catch up with her. One of them urges the other to actually step on the gas because they can't seem to catch up with her. Yet she clearly moves at a very slow pace and there seems to be nothing wrong with the truck. In fact, in some shots we see it move at normal speed. Yet it is edited in such a way that it looks as if somehow this woman is somehow always just a few yards ahead of them and they can't close the gap. This scene alone speaks volumes.

If you watch beyond this... You really have a lot of time to waste and no desire to make it at least a bit fun.

There's Something in the Shadows (2021)

JUST STOP

[1/10 · 31 July 2023]

No more found footage. No more idiots wandering the woods. No more lousy actors improvising conversation. No more films made with zero budget. No more films with monsters you don't even see because they couldn't afford even a cheap Halloween costume.

Just stop.

This film brings absolutely nothing new to the table. It feels incredibly cheap and amateurish throughout. It's people in the woods and they hear things in the night. They film the darkness over and over again. Some of them start missing. They bicker. And then it's over.

If you want to make a Blair Witch clone, you better come up with a new twist or some way to make people want to suspend disbelief. There was never a moment when I wanted to imagine this was happening for real. I was watching idiots improvise a movie.

Cold Skin (2017)

ABOMINATION

[1/10 · 31 July 2023]

Pretentious, deliberately annoying and nonsensical, with characters whose motivations are perpetually obscure, possibly because whoever wrote this thought that it meant depth of character. It is an ok premise, but everything they did with it is just awful. This film deliberately bombards you with nonsense and wasted opportunities for a good scene. It literally abuses the audience. And I hate films that do that to me. So I turned against this film pretty early on. I gave it a little more time to improve, but it didn't. What a shock. Whoever endured this ordeal of a movie is one serious weirdo, that much is certain.

Complete garbage.