jedijosh-1 Reviews

Hidden (I) (2015)

Poorly lit, and predictable"twist"

[5/10 · 10 May 2017]

So I am really starting to dislike these movies that are so poorly lit, it's difficult to see what's happening on the screen. Unfortunately this movie is full of scenery so dark it makes me want to adjust the brightness of my TV, which I know doesn't need adjustment based on the day time scenes. As far as the twist goes, I've pretty much guessed that based on the "we're different"speech mommy gave. It reminded me of a similar bit of dialogue from the movie "the others" which had a similar twist. To be honest the movie isn't bad, I got it as part of a multipack of horror movies, but I'll probably only watch this the one time and eventually forgot I even own it.

Clash of the Titans (2010)

Not another remake movie

[5/10 · 28 May 2010]

Imagine if someone wanted to remake "Star Wars" but they decided to change a few things. For instance instead of Darth Vader being Anakin Skywalker and the father of Luke our hero, he's the governor of some planet under some sort of mind control by the Emperor. Instead of Rancor being owned by Jabba the Hutt, it is now controlled by Lando. Instead of Han and Lea falling in love, Han runs off with some female Jedi he met while Lea is left all alone. Well if you think that this would be a terrible idea then don't see the remake of Clash of the Titans. The story line has been rehashed so badly that it only resembles the original story in this respect, a hero named Perseus must find three witches to find and defeat Medusa to use her head to defeat the Kraken. That's it, the rest of the movie takes elements of the original and turns them inside out. Calibos, a major villain in the original was just a wasted character in this movie as well as being someone else other than the original love of Andromeda and the caretaker of the Pegasus which he hunted down and killed all but one. Instead in this movie Calibos was the king who sent Perseus and his mother out to sea. The Kraken a monster sent to destroy the town was in the original a creature of Poseidon. Instead in this film the Kraken was released by Zeus by the suggestion of Hades??? In the original Perseus and Andromeda was married and ruled the people with kindness. In this movie Perseus blows her off and runs off with a demigod (I think that's what she was). This was just a garbled mess of a movie.

Clash of the Titans takes a classic film and turns it into a Michael Bay movie. Now I don't mind remakes and Clash of the Titans was certainly a movie I didn't mind being remade as the original (while a very good movie) lacked the special effects a movie like this deserved. So in the modern age of CGI I was excited to hear that Clash of the Titans was being remade. But this movie was all style and no substance. The story was just not there to carry the special effects.

Perseus was mediocre at best. I didn't understand why a fisherman would have a military style haircut (The soldiers back then did actually cut their hair like that, just as they do today) and he seemed to despise them as well.

The Kraken's scene at the end of the movie was a big disappointment as well, for the most part nothing really happened with him other than being turned to stone after arising from the sea.

The Harpies were cool but by the end of the movie I was sick of seeing them, the same goes for the scorpions.

Hades voice was atrocious.

But not all was bad. Medusa was done well and the movie decided to not have Bobo in it except for a very short scene as a joke.

In the end though this movie was just a huge disappointment. My suggestion is to wait for it to come out on cable before watching it.

Primer (2004)

All the right elements that just don't come together well.

[4/10 · 10 February 2010]

First let me start off by saying I love science fiction especially when the theme is Time travel. Second I love independent movies as it gives me a chance to focus on a story without being distracted by big budget effects or big Hollywood stars. Third I love strange nonlinear movies or movies that doesn't always explain everything leaving the viewer to speculate what happened. So given all this I should've loved Primer but I didn't. Primer suffers from some of the worst dialogue ever and I mean the worst ever! The jargon didn't bother me as much as it did some people, as a science fiction fan I am used to tech talk jargon so whether or not it can be understood by science egg heads or not doesn't concern me. What concerns me is so much dialogue was spoken but nothing was ever said. Sometimes dialogue from several characters overlap and you're never sure who's speaking. Worse yet since this is a time travel movie when you hear Aaron speak you're not sure if it's Aaron A or Aaron B or Aaron C etc...There are times when the story seems to jump around for no apparent reason like when the characters are all of a sudden in a fountain looking for a cat??????? Some people have suggested reading the Wikipedia plot analysis but what kind of movie needs a plot analysis to enjoy? The characters were dull and most of the time I didn't care or feel anything for them, I even hoped one would be killed off so I only had to follow the other guy. If you are looking for a good time travel movie that was also a low budget movie I suggest "Time crimes" over this movie any day.

Batman: Gotham Knight (2008 Video)

Darkest Batman animation yet

[8/10 · 24 November 2009]

It's hard to give a bottom line review on this animated collection since some of the stories were great while others weren't so much. In particular "In Darkness Dwells" and "Working Through Pain" were the worst of the six while "Field Test" and "Have I Got A Story For You" were the best. "Crossfire" and "Deadshot" were pretty good, good enough at least to allow me to give the entire collection a overall rating of 8. "Have I Got A Story For You" opens up this collection and in my opinion is the best of all six stories. In it three children each tell stories about their witnessing of Batman and in perhaps an homage to Christopher Nolan's Memento, their stories are told in reverse order of what took place that day. Each child's story mixes the facts of what they saw with the fantasy of their imaginations run wild. The result is Batman as a mist in one story, a monstrous bat creature in another, and as a cyborg in yet another. "Field Test" deals with the invention of a device that protects Batman from bullets, but this device comes at a price Batman isn't willing to pay. This collection was advertised as being a prequel to The Dark Knight which would place it just after the events of Batman begins and before The Dark Knight, however I think the inclusion of a flying man with a jet rocket back pack and the character of Killer Croc goes against Nolan's vision of a realistic Gotham with realistic characters. Still this collection is good enough on it's own merit without trying to tie it to Nolan's movies. This is by far the darkest of any Batman animations yet and for that it's worth viewing at least once. Oh, and Kevin Conroy provides the voice for Batman once again. Kevin Conroy is in my opinion the best actor to ever portray Batman.

The Nines (2007)

A film to make a unintelligent person feel intelligent.

[6/10 · 9 November 2009]

This movies suffers from one major flaw, it goes from being a really good movie to a really bad movie and back again. During the times when this movie was good was when it wasn't trying too hard to explain things. However when the explanations come, the movie becomes a exercise in patronization. Apart from these flaws and a musical number during the first act in the film, this film is pretty good. Sometimes I think these type of movies are made for the purpose of making people feel more intellectual than they really are. Nonlinear mysterious stories such as this one deserve more than what this movie has to offer. This movie had so much potential and in the end I'm left wondering what might of been.

A Christmas Story (1983)

Greatest Christmas Movie Ever.

[10/10 · 11 November 2008]

OK, so the title of my review may seem over the top, but I truly do think that there never was a better Christmas movie than "A Christmas Story" This movie basically boils down to one great sub story after another starting with the flag pole and ending with the Christmas dinner at a Chinese restaurant all wrapped up in a bigger story about a boy wanting a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas. One of the greatest things about this movie is that the father, who is constantly busy throughout this film whether it's battling the furnace or trying to get his car to start or any other number of task that he becomes occupied with, has very little dialog with Ralphie. Yet it is the father who in the end gets him his BB gun, he knew all along what Ralphie wanted although he never was told directly what it was he wanted. When reading reviews for this movie I am surprised that this has been overlooked. The final scene with the Father and Mother just sitting down watching it snow was the only time in the movie they showed affection for each other, not because they didn't care for one another but because like in real life they were just too busy. Finally when the children go to sleep they have their quite sentimental moment together and it was more believable than any scene in any romantic movie that has ever been made. A Christmas Story's final line sums up how truly happy Ralphie is now he has his Christmas wish. "Next to me in the blackness lay my oiled blue steel beauty. The greatest Christmas gift I had ever received, or would ever receive. Gradually, I drifted off to sleep, pinging ducks on the wing and getting off spectacular hip shots."

Star Trek: Voyager: Blink of an Eye (2000) Season 6, Episode 12

My favorite Star Trek Voyager episode.

[10/10 · 24 August 2008]

As the title states, this was my favorite Voyager episode ever made. The story was perfect for an episode of Star Trek and the only thing disappointing about it was that it should've been a two-part episode giving more time to focus on the inhabitants of the world as they worship the "Skyship." At times I even think this could've passed as a Star Trek Movie plot. I am now learning from a previous comment that this episode was based on a book by Robert Forward and I will be checking it out as soon as possible. The Doctor's trip away from Voyager added a interesting history to the character and I think that they handled it well by just showing the doctor leaving and coming back without knowing what happened to him, then finding out later through dialog what did happen. This episode also should be noted for it's greatness because although there was a small bit of conflict at the end, this episode focused more on problem solving rather than space battles. Also it didn't rely on the return of old favorites (Borg, Q, etc.) to make it good.

The Dark Knight (2008)

A perfect movie ruined by the hype.

[10/10 · 27 July 2008]

So as you can see by my rating I gave this movie a 10 out of 10, but some people choose to use a Spinal Tap scale and try and give this movie an 11! I have to respectfully disagree. While I'll agree that it's the best Batman movie ever made, and even the best comic book movie ever made, it is still only the best of these genres and only deserves to be a ten. As many of you already know the Joker performance was amazing and I really mean that. The JOKER was amazing, not Heath. The Joker's greatness was a result of a well written character that if played by another actor we would still admire just as much, although I did think Heath's timing of saying "Hi." while dressed as a nurse in the hospital was perfect. Batman's voice can be irritating at times and at least twice in the movie I was able to predict what was going to happen or at least I knew what was happening while we as the audience weren't supposed to know. I also had mixed reactions the movie's dialog. Everything said by the Joker in this movie was superb, but most everything else said by other characters were either comparable to other action movie dialog or just plain dull. I did enjoy most of Albert's dialog as well. I really enjoyed the character Harvey Dent but he became ten times less interesting when he became Two-face, a sentiment I fell that was felt by others who complained that the movie's final ten minutes were stale despite the fact that the white knight/dark knight contrast was pretty good. Still though this is a great movie, but I wouldn't try to compare it to some of the best movies ever made like some other people have done.

Stardust (2007)

A "PG-13" Movie with a "G" plot

[5/10 · 22 June 2008]

There are four points I wanted to make about this film. One: This movie's plot would seem more feasible if it were a typical rated "G" Disney movie, but for a movie rated "PG-13" I want something more plausible. (Yes even in the fantasy genre, movies can be creditable, this movie wasn't) Two: There was no explanation offered for why Tristan's hair suddenly grew on the ship. If this was a magical ability of Shakespeare then why wasn't this more apparent? Three: Not one single character in the movie wondered what would happen if Shakespeare flew his ship over the wall. (I wondered this immediately after first seeing the ship.) Four: Too many continuity mistakes. Normally this is my least favorite of mistakes that movies make, mostly because I don't even notice them until I read about it on web sites like this one, however I was able to spot several on my first viewing of the movie. Having said all that I still recommend this movie, but only if you have nothing else to do. It's not bad, it's not great either but I don't think it's worth avoiding. I am reminded of something Ebert once said when critiquing a movie. He said "A great film has at least three great scenes, and no bad ones." Unfortunately for Stardust I can only think of one great scene and at least three bad ones.

Untraceable (2008)

Not original, full of propaganda.

[1/10 · 22 May 2008]

I wanted to start off this review by pointing out to the many people who claim that this was an "original thriller." Have they not watched the movie "Virtuosity" where a killer kills people based on the ratings of a television station? What about the television show "Millennium: Episode THE MIKADO" where the plot is basically the same? The movie reeks with propaganda. First is the not so subtle anti-piracy theme that repeats a few times throughout the movie. But what makes it worse is that they paint a picture of movie pirates as being iniquitous enough to also steal people's credit card numbers, and they are gay weirdos as well. Secondly (and maybe not so many people picked up on this) was the movie's implications that Net neutrality will lead to these type of sites being created. Third was the line from the FBI agents at the beginning when they found their internet thief based on the fact that he had *Gasp* registered guns. Apparently cyber freedom is bad, registering guns are bad, but "On Star" is good and that is this movie in a nutshell.

Sunshine (2007)

Follows same tiring formula as other "Saving the Earth" movies.

[3/10 · 30 April 2008]

If you've seen "Saving the Earth" movies like The Core and Armageddon or even movies about space missions gone wrong like Red Planet or Mission to Mars then there is no need to see this film. It follows the same basic formula these other movies do. That formula is this. A crew goes on a mission in some type of ship, a unforeseen problem arises and the only way to prevent the ship from being destroyed is if a crew member does something that puts his own life at risk. The ship is saved but we lose one of the crew. A new problem arises and we lose yet another member. The ship begins to loose life support. The crew become aware of the fact that they only have enough oxygen, or food, or fuel to complete the mission but not enough to return, but continue on the mission anyway. One by one crew members die, and in the end one person sacrifices himself to save the world. The End.

American Psycho (2000)

Good satire of yuppie life, bad movie about a psychopath

[4/10 · 11 March 2008]

One of the major flaws in this film is that while the mocking of pretentious yuppies is satisfying, it fails to realize that the movie makers themselves are guilty of being one of those that deserve to be mocked. One of the characteristics of these yuppie types is the conceited misunderstanding that they (the yuppies) are the only ones sophisticated enough to understand art. While the movie ignores this characteristic and instead focuses on their misunderstandings of dinning, I find it ironic that only people who enjoy this movie boast the same conceited taste in films as the characters do in their choice of dinner. If these pompous characters that were in this movie have a video library at home, I would bet that American Psycho would be one of those movies.