cinemafiendee Reviews

Slumdog Millionaire (2008)

'Slumdog Millionaire' is not Exactly Revolutionary.

[5/10 · 11 January 2009]

I don't know what about this feel-good flick is so much better than a film like 'Bend it Like Beckham' or 'Along Came Polly'. This award-winning film from Danny Boyle is trash even down to the dance/musical number during closing credits so tacky i will never forget. Every individual adaptation of an idea in the novel that Danny Boyle attempts falls through his fingers with the same distracting tilt-angles that 'Doubt' was so heavily criticized for. Believe it or not, somebody thought it a good idea to cast one of the actors from 'Skins', the British, teenage soap opera that recently finished its second season as the lead actor. There are some cute performances from the kids who play the main actor as a child growing up, but not anything like the child-actor performances in 'Babel', a film which most certainly didn't win best picture at the Oscars. 'Slumdog Millionaire' is a British film which focuses not on empathy with another culture but on trying to make India seem 'ethnic' or 'different'. His unnecessary speed, disorientating shots, ridiculous filters and lenses and random subtitles and characters that weave in and out of languages make white people think they're tasteful. Woody Allen did the same think in 'Vicky Christina Barcelona' by simply turning everything yellow (or 'Spanish' in Sundance-Film-Festival-lovers' terms if you know what i mean). There are several plot-holes in this, the "40th best film in the World of all time", but that's understandable as it is with any Hollywood flick. Danny Boyle seems to love taking other people's ideas and turning their own art into his own money as well as claiming as many awards he can for his supposed 'creativity'. The fact that 'Slumdog Millionaire' was already a cheesy, emotional and trashy novel with a readable hook, (Jamal is an Indian thinking back on his experiences as a 'Slumdog' which mean he knows the answers to the questions for 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire, winning him 20,000,000 Rupees) only means that Danny Boyle's job as a director was easier, and trust me, he fails. Perhaps 'Slumdog Millionaire' could have been a TV series with an episode for each question, and this film's weak acting, outrageous end-kiss and blatant symbolism may have been more in place. Well, Dev Patel (Jamal Malik) would have been anyway. This is not THAT bad a film. People just need to look farer and widen their minds. five out of ten. enjoy.

The Brown Bunny (2003)

This movie is so cool.

[2/10 · 3 October 2008]

This movie is interestingly bad. i wouldn't comment on this title if i hadn't just seen someone 'try' to 'pretend' they liked it, the only problem being that this person couldn't think of a reason to like this film, other than the fact that everyone else hates it. (The huge budget spent only on petrol, Chloe Sevigny's unnecessary blow job) Saying that the film is great because it's so bad that it stands out from the rest, thus making it 'good' is down-right-pretentious, and it makes for a funny read. This film has fifteen minute-long shots of race tracks (why not) which you are a champion if you can actually watch, plus great side-on shots of Vincent Gallo's face for another hour. I'm not bagging this film because it has 'boring' long shots, i enjoy Haneke and 'Silent Light' which has a sunrise from start to finish to begin the film, i just don't enjoy films that amount to nothing. If i was Vincent Gallos, i would say, "sure, i would love to write, direct, produce and star in a film about me" i would then proceed to ask Chloe Sevigny to give me a blow job. but i just wouldn't expect people to like it. there's nothing to understand. it's just an attempt at a character portrait which doesn't work because Vincent Gallos doesn't have to act. This movie is a great one to watch. it becomes a documentary about what what you can actually get onto a movie screen. And for this reason, 'The Brown Bunny' by Vincent Gallos and ONLY Vincent Gallos is worth the time it takes me to write this review. to everyone who likes this movie, you need to see some more.

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

The most perfect movie i have ever seen!

[10/10 · 7 April 2008]

The Blair Witch Project is in ways, more than a movie. At the time of its release, work was done in order to insure the most realistic feel the movie could have. using words like 'documentary' and providing documentaries of the kids and placing missing posters around Maryland were all tactful in making it feel like you are watching the final days of three people's lives. The director used interesting techniques in providing the authentic documentary feel. The three actors carried all the equipment and shot it all themselves. They improvised their lines, and were only told basic plot points by the director placing notes in test tubes so that only that particular actor could read it, and then reveal it to the other actors. The ending has been described as one of the best endings in a film of all time. This is all not to mention the effect of these techniques, which is unbelievably frightening at the right moment. This is a movie that is almost faultless as both a horror film and a mockumentary. Certain scenes are intensely disturbing and unforgettable such as when Heather finds Josh's teeth wrapped in a piece of his shirt and put in a bundle of sticks. Heather and Josh's reactions are the most disturbing element of the film. The director walked around them at night with friends and threw sticks and stones around the tent. This technique means that the frightened reactions of the kids are often genuine. It is because of this that you feel like you are there, discovering the trinkets left outside the tent for the first time also. don't be surprised if you start feeling stressed about getting out of the woods yourself. The end scene in which Josh stands facing against the wall while Heather is killed is tense and sickening and leaves you feeling regretful that you watched it, but if you wait, and think about 'The Blair Witch Project' you will discover its brilliance. Fantastic! P.S. The Blair Witch Project 2: Book of Shadows is disgracefully bad in response.