derekparry Reviews

Heartbreakers (2001)

Heartbreakers featuring lungbreakers

[22 September 2004]

A mother and daughter con team are out to make one last sting....a big one at that. So far so unoriginal. Sigourney Weaver & Jennifer Love Hewitt are the team in question. Fans of T&A will not be disappointed with Hewitt's contributions.

Romantic comedies lasting over two hours can be dangerous territory. However, this flows pretty well and on only a couple of occasions are you left anxious for the inevitable ending....that said there is a tiny sting to look forward to.

Vibrant and colourful it's a fairly enjoyable couple of hours but I felt Gene Hackman's chain smoking character could have been more humorously employed.

If you have two hours to waste and you enjoy the romantic comedy genre you could do worse than watch this.

Jacob's Ladder (I) (1990)

Unreal Reality

[20 September 2004]

Compelling stuff. Tim Robbins as a Vietnam veteran who is experiencing some rather strange goings on. Well, that's an understatement actually. His life is in constant danger and is not helped by flashbacks to the war and a marriage during which a son died. Is it the extremely spooky people with no faces trying to kill him or is the US Government involved ?

The film dispenses such an aura of claustrophobia that the viewer is in danger of becoming as haunted as Robbins. As the movie progresses and his experiences become more and more surreal you are half expecting no satisfactory conclusion to the story. Far from it - the finale makes you play the whole movie through your mind again and it's then you realize you've just witnessed a terrific film.

The Cat in the Hat (2003)

It's a big Cat

[10 September 2004]

Dare I say I enjoyed this movie. It was a Saturday morning, I had a hangover and I was taking the children to the movies. I hoped to get a bit of shut eye but found myself laughing more and more at Mike Myers as the cat in the hat. He just seemed to be enjoying himself so much that it became infectious. Eyes closed and you could mistake the cat for Herman Munster as he proudly chuckles at one goof after another.

I also enjoyed Alec Baldwin's character and the downward spiral he found himself unable to halt.

Bright, funny and did not outstay it's welcome plus the children enjoyed it.

I maybe in a minority but I'd recommend it.....and it cured the hangover.

The Martins (2001)

Dark comedy about the family you cross the road to avoid

[9 September 2004]

This is a curious little tale. The Martins are the family "you cross the road to avoid". Foul-mouthed, burning tyres in the back yard, motor car polluting the environment, surviving on benefits - in fact the archetypal family you don't want next door to you. However, as the film progresses we learn a little about each character and the viewer is enticed into understanding a little of what makes these real-life characters tick.

Kathy Burke and Lee Evans are two renowned British comedy actors but the comedy in this film is very dark. Burke's is a fabulous performance as the wife who wants more than husband Evans is able to provide.

Cameo roles for two other British heavyweights, Ray Winstone and Mark Strong are both unforgettable.

If there is a problem I have with this movie it is that if the morale of the story is to move the dysfunctional to better surroundings then I fear it is misguided. And beware if you are sensitive to bad language - there is plenty.

The Van (1996)

Van vandalized

[25 August 2004]

"The Van" is one of very few novels that have made me laugh out loud, on numerous occasions, whilst reading it. Thus, I feared the movie couldn't possibly live up to the book and I was right.

The characters appear nowhere near as appealing as they do in the book -even the lead characters name has changed from Jimmy to Larry. In fact the Rabbite family has been drastically culled. The dialect can be difficult to catch at times (my wife mistook "World Peace" for "Wolf's p**s" during one pun). The "Living Dead" appear from nowhere and........no, I'm not doing any more comparisons.

If you want a good laugh read the book.

The Parole Officer (2001)

All's well with Coogan's Garden

[13 July 2004]

I remember the critics slagging this one when it came out. I find Steve Coogan hit and miss so I thought I'd give it a viewing expecting a miss but was delighted to find out it's one of his better outings.

It's a thoroughly entertaining ride from the first moment to the last with good one liners and some excellent visual gags. People have expressed it requires a British sense of humour to appreciate but surely Coogan trying to break out of the bank would gain international laughter.

Good performance from Stephen Dillane as a little nauseatingly unlikeable cop. All in all an excellent movie and a lesson not to believe what the critics perceive is good/bad.

Dead Man Walking (1995)

If Death be my mistress.....

[26 June 2003]

Heavy movie. Is the death penalty right or is it wrong ? Tricky question. Was Sean Penn on top form ? You bet. Was his hairstyle ludicrous ? I cannot imagine too many death row guys with a bouffant like that. Good movie ? On the whole yes but some scenes dragged a little.

A Clockwork Orange (1971)

This review has been withdrawn

[29 December 2002]

Sorry but I have had to withdraw this review on account that I might get beaten up and the review wasn't really that good. However, with any luck the review will build up a certain amount of notoriety over the coming years and when it finally sees the light of day will be hailed as a masterpiece. Well why not ? It worked for others....brother.

Hell Below Zero (1954)

Not for whale lovers

[5 December 2002]

The story of a whale factory captain who has allegedly committed suicide but to the disbelief of his daughter who is going to travel to the Antartic to prove otherwise. Not a bad start but then Alan Ladd enters and it goes downhill from there.

It's not all bad. Stanley Baker plays the bad guy well and the climax is worth waiting for...just. On the way you will endure some graphic scenes of a whaling operation in action. This was probably far more palatable in 1953 than it is now. Also there is a fight scene that really reminded me of the 60's Batman TV series - but perhaps naffer.

Approach with caution.....and not at all if you like whales.

The Desperadoes (1943)

Fine Western

[5 December 2002]

Blimey, this movie is nearly 60 years old. As it's filmed in "glorious technicolour" it gives it a much more modern feel. The story is of some 'insider trading' at the local bank and the need to bring those responsible to justice.

There are some fine performances throughout and the mix of drama and comedy (featuring great stuff from 'Nitro' and the bartender) is spot on. The story is a good one and it is entertaining from start to finish. Definitely a superior Western.

San Demetrio London (1943)

Anything for a cup of tea

[28 November 2002]

The tale of tanker on a return trip to Galviston, Texas. It has a bit of a run in with a "Jerry" boat and the remainder of the film depicts the courage of the crew trying to keep things afloat. As the film was made during World War II the sentiments are entirely predictable/understandable.

Gordon Jackson looks worryingly young and the Britishness of the movie is summed up when the Captain risks blowing up the boat for the sake of giving the crew a hot cup of tea.

Don't expect anything too spectacular but enjoy a feelgood movie 1943 style.

Trees Lounge (1996)

Losers in Loserville

[20 November 2002]

Welcome to a place where everybody knows your name.....unfortunately. "Tree Lounge" is no "Cheers". The inhabitants are dysfunctional and the only thing they seem to have sorted in their sad lives is the location where they can get their next shot of Wild Turkey or Bud.

Nearly every character appears to be on a losing run but somehow the film is not depressing. It may be a bit slow for some but if you stick with it, it is a poignant soap opera where alcohol is the cause of the misery and not the solution.

The Game (1997)

A game better watched than played

[19 November 2002]

How many films have you seen that keep you guessing until the final seconds ? Not too many but this one does. The plot is, of course, all highly implausible but you are watching the film to be entertained and entertain it does....in the best possible way. Highly recommended.

Cast Away (2000)

Parcel Carrier stars in movie - Tom Hanks supports

[18 November 2002]

***Possible Spoiler ***

Fred Smith in a movie ? Wow, I haven't seen him since he made me and hundreds of other UK Federal Express employees redundant back in 1992......calling this movie "Cast Away" is surely twisting the knife Fred. Sorry, Im getting political instead of reviewing this movie (or is it a 2hour FredEx advert - it feels like it on occasions).

Chuck is a busy man - he rushes around the world a lot for the FredEx cause. Then one night his plane goes down - the most dramatic part of the movie. Then it all slows down to a virtual standstill as Chuck copes with life as a Cast Away. There is plenty of time to contemplate "now if that was me...." but all of a sudden 4 years have passed. Schmaltzy ending and that's it.

I'll sum it up by saying if you like Tom Hanks you'll get on fine with this movie but if FredEx have ever let you down it will grate.

Down, Out & Dangerous (1995 TV Movie)

When two guys go to war

[6/10 · 9 October 2002]

Extremely cliched psychological thriller but that is more of an observation than a criticism as this movie serves up more than enough tension and nailbiting moments. If you can get your head around Richard Thomas playing the bad guy (but still with the boy next door appearance) then you should get a certain level of enjoyment from this movie even if you can predict pretty much the whole plot.

The Mummy (1999)

A load of tutenkhamun

[8 October 2002]

Good reasons to see this film are Rachel Weisz looks gorgeous throughout and...well that's about it really. Make no mistake the genre of this film is comedy. Naff comedy for the most part - almost slapstick. The plot is daft, as are many of the characters - especially John Hannah who is particuarly annoying. It is a shame the amount of money that obviously went into making this monstrosity couldnt have spawned something more worthwhile.

Nasty Neighbours (1999)

Walking on the beaches looking at the Peaches

[30 September 2002]

A dark little movie about the downward spiral of a couple caught up in debt, dead end jobs and neighbours a million miles away from themselves.

Actually, it is difficult to choose from Harold Peach (Ricky Tomlinson) and Robert Chapman (Phil Daniels) as to who is the nastiest neighbour. Their wives are both victims of the obnoxious traits of their husbands.

Well acted and slightly surreal it is well worth a viewing although not recommended for anyone in debt and who is not getting on with their neigbours - they could find it extremely depressing.

When Saturday Comes (1996)

Soccer success in Sheffield shock

[30 September 2002]

If you think Sean Bean as a 25 year old footballer (he was 37 when the film was made), playing park football at such a low level there is not even any goalnets but can still hit the big time is a little incredulous then wait until you see the film's finale.

Those two gripes aside this is a likeable slice of English kitchen sink drama. A fine performance from John McEnery as Jimmys embittered, jealous father added to an entertaining if predictable story mean this film is well worth watching. Even the football action, which is notoriously difficult to cinemarise, is not as far from the real thing as most football action in films is.

Also not to be missed is a cameo appearance from legendary Blade, Tony Currie. He looks like he has been to the acting school for nodding dogs to train for his part.

Evil Roy Slade (1972 TV Movie)

Parental warning - this film is for kids

[25 September 2002]

An acquaintance who was notorious for making up pathetic jokes pronounced this as "the funniest film of all time". Almost out of morbid intrigue I thought I better check it out. The first three minutes were visually funny and then....oh dear. The shoe shop scene was genuinely funny and there is the occasional good one liner but overall the movie is surely aimed at under 14s. Possibly the funniest film ever, if the only other comedy you've seen is "Carry on Columbus"

Runaway! (1973 TV Movie)

200 train passengers are about to die but dont worry

[21 August 2002]

Channel 5 decided to give this a showing yesterday - I remembered enjoying it as a B Movie in my youth and decided to record it. Ummmmm. Could I really have enjoyed something so corny and predictable. Ben Murphy plays Kid Curry but without the Cowboy Hat. Ben Johnson drives the train and shows absolutely no cause for concern that his train, carry 200+ passengers, is about to leave the rails at Jackson City and cause massive carnage. A completely unrealistic movie albeit with some good scenery. As satisfying as an episode of Love Boat.