General_Cromwell Reviews

Star Trek (2009)

Maximum warp!

[9/10 · 13 May 2009]

Star Trek (the reboot) is one of the best 'summer blockbusters' i've seen in years. While most of these 'event' movies seem to disappoint, Star Trek is actually better than you can imagine! This is a really clever and well done reboot of the original series which should please Trekkers and non-Trekkers alike. Some nit-picking purists might moan about certain aspects but this is better than anyone could have hoped.

Starting with a blistering pre-credits sequence that is both exciting and moving, you just know your in for a treat! And the rest of the film is just as good, for director JJ Abrams has given us a fresh new take on the Trek universe. He has upped the action quota (and much of it is quite brutal) and the film moves at such a breakneck speed as to be a thrilling ride. Special effects are top notch, and there are some stunning shots that will have you itching to see the film again.

Thankfully the most important aspect, the cast, are just superb. Nice performances that hark back to the original characters but don't imitate them. Quinto is just uncanny as Spock and Chris Pine is just dynamite as the young arrogant but self assured Kirk. Some of their scenes with each other are just riveting. Also worthy of note is Karl Urban as McCoy and Simon Pegg as Scotty, although Pegg does get less screen time than the rest.

There are a few flaws in the film, one involving a massive coincidence thats hard to swallow, a silly alien that chases Kirk and an alien assistant for Scotty we could have done without. But these don't detract from what is a hugely entertaining and enjoyable entry into the Star Trek universe.

This viewer is already looking forward to seeing it again and hopefully we'll see some sequels. But if your planning to see it, then make sure you see it on the big screen for maximum effect!

Death Proof (2007)

Great fun, but way to long!

[8/10 · 22 September 2007]

I'm sure Death Proof is much better seen with its partner, 'Planet Terror' in Grindhouse. But alas, here in England we have to see them separately, at least until the Grindhouse double bill DVD comes out! Death Proof is still great fun though, and fans of the low budget 'grindhouse' genre are going to be in seventh heaven. The scratches, jumps and dirt on the print have all been lovingly added to add to the effect. You could argue that this is nothing more than cinematic masturbation, and casual cinema goers will be totally bemused by it all. But then Tarantino has never tried to satisfy the masses. The film itself has some great moments in it, and contains one of Tarantino's most shocking sequences yet, that will leave you stunned. There's also a kick ass car chase that looks incredibly dangerous with a neat twist in the outcome. Even Tarantino die-hards will find some of the dialogue tedious though, the chats between the females is incredibly dull and you'll find yourself examining your watch during these scenes, that go on way to long and add to the films already overlong running time. This is Kurt Russells film though, its a great performance and the film comes alive whenever he's on screen. So on its own, not a classic, but although it is way to long, its still well worth a look, especially if your a fan of the low budget exploitation genre. Great soundtrack as well!

Miami Vice (2006)

Cop thriller for adults

[9/10 · 11 August 2006]

While this is called 'Miami Vice' and has the same names as the characters from the TV show, thats where the similarities end. This is a no nonsense undercover cop thriller. There are no 'buddy cops', wisecracks, car chases, or O.T.T action, so the casual movie goer is going to be a little bemused by what they are seeing. But fans of Michael Mann's work will be in seventh heaven, because this has all the director's trademarks.

There's some stunning camera-work (A lot of it digital), and some beautifully rendered sequences in this and some explosive action (But don't go expecting 'Lethal weapon' style action.) The trailer park stand off with the white supremacists was my favourite scene and an abject lesson in how to put suspense on screen.

Performances are all very good, right down to the smaller parts and the plot demands attention. I found the films running time flew by. Its so refreshing to see a cop thriller for adults, with no silliness and one that doesn't insult the audiences intelligence.

Best film so far this year.

Scanners (1981)

more mainstream but still very much a Cronenberg film

[6 November 2002]

Cronengergs first film that was accessible to a mass audience,and more science fiction than horror.Not to take anything away from Scanners,this is an excellent film,and still very much a Cronenberg one.Featuring another failed medical marvel,this time Ephemerol,a drug for pregnant women that has a side-effect that causes their babies to be born as scanners.The film also features other Cronenberg traits,like shady organizations,weird reclusive characters,and some startlingly nasty make up effects,the best being the infamous exploding head sequence,that has never been equalled.The film is well paced and moves fast,with a clever intelligent script.The only let down is the lead performance from Stephen Lack.Aptly named since he lacks any acting ability whatsoever!Thankfully the other performances are top notch.Patrick Macgoohan is reliably good,as is Michael Ironside who gives a riveting and intense performance,as Revok.Howard Shore provides a superb electronic score to a film that added to Cronenbergs already impressive output.

To Die For (1995)

Black comedy at its finest

[28 October 2002]

This is black comedy at its finest,a wonderfully incisive film.I've seen it many times and it gets better with every viewing.This is one of Gus Van Sants best films,right up there with Drugstore Cowboy.This was the film that proved Nicole Kidman was a force to be reckoned with.Its a brutally good part,and she doesn't waste it.Giving a genuinely unhinged performance,as well as a jaw droppingly sexy one.The performances are all excellent though,Dillon plays the poor dumb schmuck who doesen't know what he's let himself in for with ease.Joaquin Phoenix is great as probably the dimmest character in movie history!Best of all is Illeana Douglas as Dillons wonderfully cynical sister."What did i first think of her?-Four letters beginning with 'c',you know......cold!" This is beautifully put together using mock docu footage,flashbacks,and straight filmaking.Clever,intelligent,and razor sharp,films like this are all to rare.Look out for director David Cronenberg,in a wickedly good cameo!

Flesh+Blood (1985)

Gloriously over the top

[28 October 2002]

Gloriously over the top middle ages saga from Verhoeven,who certainly makes sure the film lives up to its title!This is an exraordinarily bloody film,and apart from the gore we get dead babies,brain damaged nuns,plague infected flesh,raping,pillaging,and some terrible table manners.This is hugely enjoyable stuff,with some terrific black humour.Verhoeven also stages some excellent action sequences.The opening battle to take back the city is good,as is the amazing contraption to scale the castle that gets destroyed,and the final battle inside the castle is gripping.Rutger Hauer is reliably excellent in this,not so much a loveable rogue as a steely eyed psycho.Even better is Jennifer Jason Leigh as the kidnapped princess,who turns out to be a cunning,scheming,bitch.Witness the scene where she turns the tables on Hauer,who is attempting to rape her.There's good support also from Susan Tyrrell as a revolting whore,and Ronald Lacey as a demented priest who seems to have stepped straight out of the film 'The Devils'.This is miles better than all the other sword and sorcery films that were around at the time,because Verhoeven pulls no punches,and instills the film with a savage wit.Great music as well from 'Conan' composer,Bazil Poleduris.This film deserves a sequel!

Braveheart (1995)

Racist,homophobic,twaddle

[1/10 · 27 October 2002]

What an absolutely godawful cod-sporran-swinging monstrosity this film is.Mel Gibson shows himself to be the pompous,self righteous,English hating berk i always suspected he was.Anyone who proclaims this to be,"The best film ever made!" Is obviously a movie simpleton.Braveheart is racist,homophobic,and the biggest load of old twaddle i've ever had the misfortune to sit through."FREEDOM!" Oh shut up you big jessie!

The Swimmer (1968)

a sad,thought provoking journey

[17 October 2002]

I first saw The Swimmer when i was about 12 years old and although i didn't quite understand the film,i was definitely affected by it.I certainly never forgot it.When i saw it years later it still held the same power,and although it is slightly dated,the film is a thought provoking and sad journey into a broken man's delusional mind.I love the film's episodic nature and the way it doesn't conform to the usual filmaking rules.With each pool Merrill visits, the more information we get about his past,and what seems to have gone wrong in his life,leading to one of the most devastating and heartbreaking endings in film history.Excellent performances,especially from Burt Lancaster who is riveting throughout.The reviewer who called this the worst film he'd ever seen has obviously never seen any of Michael Winner's work!

Red Dragon (2002)

suprisingly excellent

[12 October 2002]

As a huge fan of Michael Manns Manhunter,i was sceptical to say the least when i heard there was going to be another adaptation of the magnificent Thomas Harris novel,Red Dragon.On seeing the film my scepticism turned to admiration,because this is a very impressive film.While this is nowhere near as stylish as Manhunter,it's straightforward,no nonsense direction works well for Tom Tally's extremely faithful screenplay.The cast are faultless.Ed Norton is perfect as the angst-ridden Will Graham.Hopkins obviously relished playing Lecter again,and gives the character an interesting slant by making him a much angrier and bitter character.Emily Watson is surely up for a best supporting actress nomination next time the oscars roll by,her scenes with Norton near the end are beautifully played,and quite touching.But the real revelation is Ralph Fiennes as Dollarhyde.He is quite simply magnificent,in a difficult part.Pulling off the character exactly as he is written in the novel.This is a wonderful companion to The Silence Of The Lambs,and i'd tentatively say that Red Dragon is the better film.It's inevitable comparisons will be made between this film and Manhunter,but why bother?Fans of the novel now have two excellent adaptations to enjoy!

The Devils (1971)

Ken Russell's finest hour

[6 October 2002]

Similar to The Wicker Man in it's depiction of the hypocrisy of religion,this is probably Russell's finest hour.Very disturbing,and at times very hard to watch,it's nevertheless a very powerful film.Russell assaults the senses with some startling sequences,the demented nuns running riot engaging in all sorts of un-holy activity,the vicious torture scenes that although mostly left to the imagination,are very gruelling to sit through,and the final unflinching burning scenes.Oliver Reed is superb in this,in what is quite an heroic role,for whatever Grandier is forced to go through,he never once compromises his beliefs or takes the easy way out.*SPOILER*By the end although he is burned to death,he is the victor.Also excellent in the film is Vanessa Redgrave,as the deformed and twisted Sister Jeanne,and Michael Coulthard as the hippyish Father Barre.The film also looks fantastic,mainly due to the incredible set design by Derek Jarman.Creating a cold sterile enviroment for all the mayhem that occurs throughout the film.Required viewing for Catholics!

The Thing from Another World (1951)

Science Fiction classic

[6 October 2002]

One of the all time great science fiction classics.Based on the John W.Campbell story,'Who Goes There?'.Although the film ditches the shape changing alien of the story for a hulking humanoid creature,the story remains more or less the same.The discovery of the frozen alien is well handled,and the film is always creepy.One scene where the alien is discovered behind a door is pretty frightening!As usual for it's time,the scientists in the group of men who want to communicate with the thing are proved wrong and killed,leaving it up to the macho hero,Kenneth Tobey to destroy the creature.There's an oddly sexy performance from Margaret Sheridan as the heroes girlfriend,even though she remains well wrapped up for the entire film!The remake made in 1982 by John Carpenter is also excellent.

Suspiria (1977)

Argento's finest film

[5 October 2002]

Argento's finest film,that combines all his eccentric filmaking skills and delivers a dazzling,visually stunning horror,that for once has an almost coherent plot.Jessica Harper is his best ever lead actress,as an innocent abroad embroiled in a world of black magic.Having the film set all in one place helps,and the dance school is a great location.Apart from Harper the acting is variable,ranging from fair to bloody awful,but its Argento's set pieces that impress the most.The vicious double murder at the beginning is stunning,and is typical Argento.Also good is the rain of maggots in the school,the room full of steel wire,the night spent in the gym,and the final confrontation between Harper and the ancient witch.The film looks great thanks to the use of a special film stock that make the images onsceen literally bleed colour.Also good is the music by Goblin,who have created a very effective score which is the icing on the cake for Argento's stylish and brauva masterpiece.

Rabid (1977)

classic Cronenberg

[5 October 2002]

Basicly a re-run of Shivers on a larger scale,(This time half of Montreal is infected)but much slicker and professional.Featuring another weird disease created by Cronenberg,this time the unfortunate Rose (Marilyn Chambers) is the carrier of a strange vampiric appendage that emerges from her armpit to drink blood and infect the poor victim.The cause of Rose's affliction is unclear,only that her experimental skin grafts performed by a private clinic,is the culprit.Not quite as gory as Shivers but close,the first victims wounds after an attack by rose are wincingly realistic,and theres a nasty scene where an infected surgeon cuts off a nurses fingers with a pair of scissors.Cronenberg creates a city in a mass panic very well,most noticeable when a store Santa is gunned down in a military crossfire!Chambers gives a sympathetic performance as Rose,as she tries to comprehend what has happened to her.Rabid reinforced the view that Cronenberg was a name to watch in s.f/horror cinema.If you haven't seen it then do so,this is classic Cronenberg.

Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

even better than the original

[5 October 2002]

Even better than the original,Whale invests the follow up with some terrific black humour and a strong eventful script.The opening prologue featuring Mary Shelley (Elsa Lanchester,who also plays the bride)is delicious and it just gets better and better.Karloff is given more to do as the monster,and we get a new mad scientist character,Dr Praetorius (Ernest Thesigner) who teams up with the recovering Baron Frankenstein.There are so many memorable scenes.The monsters re-birth from the mill,his capture and almost immediate escape,meeting the blind man at the cabin (a very touching scene),and the final creation of the bride.Beautifully made,this is Karloffs film.He is quite simply magnificent.The film also boasts some incredible baroque sets and a great score by Franz Waxman.

The Wicker Man (1973)

an unconventional and original piece of work

[10/10 · 3 September 2002]

This film is a true original.An unconventional and magnificent piece of work.The majority of the film isn't scary or frightening,it's odd.As we discover Summerisle's strange populace and their weird customs.*POSSIBLE SPOILERS* The unease builds as Sgt Howie (Edward Woodward),investigates the missing schoolgirl,Rowan Morrison.Coming across a baffling array clues and misinformation.All designed to lead him into a trap of his own free will.Repeated viewing demonstrates just how clever Anthony Schaffer's script is,as it's revealed just how sinister the islanders intentions are.The climax,as the wicker man is revealed,is truely shocking,as the film reaches it's nightmarish and disturbing conclusion.With the final image being strangely beautiful.The performances work well,with the islanders coming across as scarily authentic!Edward Woodward is excellent as the upright police sergeant,but it's Christopher Lee as Lord Summerisle,who dominates the film.His character is charming,yet insanely hellbent on what he believes is right for his religion,and his people.The film says a lot about the hypocrisy of religion.We don't believe for one second,that sacrificing Howie will help the crops.Or believe that Howie has life eternal,and that by the end,he even believes it.Apart from the wonderful photography and locations,The Wicker Man also features some great music by Paul Giovanni,whose songs play an integral part throughout the film.Ranging from baudy pub songs,acoustic ditties,gorgeous ballads,to the final rousing chorus as the wicker man burns.They work marvellously well for the film,so well in fact,that it's almost a musical by and large!This is a challenging and original film,thats well worth checking out if you haven't seen it.One of the best British films ever made.

Conan the Barbarian (1982)

something of a mixed bag

[31 August 2002]

It took a long time for Robert E Howard's wonderful creation to make it to the big screen,and the result is something of a mixture.Some of Conan is very impressive,with the atmosphere of Howard's writing perfectly captured on screen,but some of the film is badly misjudged,with daft moments,botched action,and an uneven performance from schwarzenneger.He looks the part but in some scenes comes across as a muscle bound buffoon.Something the literary hero definitely wasn't.The story is ok,apart from having Conan spend half his life chained to the wheel of pain!But it's a dissapointing script,considering greats Milius and Oliver Stone wrote it.There are some excellent sequences in the film though,that are beautifully photographed.The opening attack on conans village is impressive,and Conans encounter with a weird witch is pretty good.But best of all is the orgy sequence,where the action,sets,and music blend together perfectly.It's like a Frank Frazetta painting come to life!The climactic battle of the mounds is ok,but it's all over far to quickly.The film does look good with some gorgeous photography,and set design.Best of all though,is the music by Basil Poledouris.This is an absolutely stunning score,that really captures the savage world of Conan.I'll stick my neck out and say that it's the best film soundtrack ever composed!General Cromwell,over and out.

White of the Eye (1987)

criminally underrated

[10/10 · 27 August 2002]

Donald Cammells take on the psycho-thriller,is an absorbing,offbeat,beautifully made affair.Opening with a breathtaking sequence,as a woman is murdered in her chic house by an unseen assailant.Cammell uses extreme close ups of the killers eye,slow motion,and a weird pulsating music track,to blistering effect.This is a stunningly directed film,with a script by Cammell and his wife to match.Thankfully the cast are up to the challenge.Raging Bull's Cathy Moriarty gives her best ever performance in this,as the wife who not only has to discover her husbands infidelity,but also his terrible secret.Alan Rosenberg also impresses as Moriarty's ex,giving a sympathetic performance for such a pathetic character.The revelation here though is David Keith,who is quite simply awesome and believable as a man who appears normal,but inside is a mass of raging insanity.The flashback scenes that appear sporadically as the film progresses are clever and well written,gradually revealing Paul Whites mindset.Although the film isn't overly violent,one of the murders is disturbing in the extreme.*POSSIBLE-SPOILER* Also nasty is the scene where Moriarty discovers the secret her husband has hidden under the bathtub.The climax as Paul,clad in warpaint and wearing half a ton of dynamite,hunts his wife is riveting,with an explosive ending in a disused quarry.Another good feature of the film is the stunning location work,showing Tucson Arizona as an almost alien but starkly beautiful landscape.Criminally underseen and underrated,this is stunning cinema and one of the best films of the eighties.

Shivers (1975)

gloriously offensive

[10/10 · 27 August 2002]

Cronenbergs first proper film,and gloriously offensive it is to!Shivers uses ideas and themes that Cronenberg has been interested in for most of his excellent career.Science gone wrong,body horror,and physical disgust.Cronenberg has a ball with this film,reveling in jet black humour,as the revolting, sluglike venereal parasites infect the inhabitants of the Starliner Towers complex,turning them into sex crazed psychos!Some of the scenes are very nasty,especially the scene where Barbarah Steele is attacked in the bath by one of the parasites.And then theres the revolting bit when Joe Silver tries to pull several of the little suckers off of his face,using a pair of pliers!Most typical of Cronenberg is the scene where the girlfriend of the films hero Paul Hampton, tries to explain to him why the disease she's infected with is so wonderful."Even old flesh,is erotic flesh".She purrs at him.Cronenberg ends the film with the sort of happy ending that only he could come up with.Excellent early Cronenberg.General Cromwell says if you haven't seen this then check this baby out!(Not for the easily offended)

Black Rain (1989)

a guilty pleasure

[25 August 2002]

This ones a guilty pleasure!Its got a really corny,far fetched plot,treats the japanese as a bunch of bureaucratic morons,is full of groan inducing dialogue,and has a scene where Andy Garcia and an uptight japanese detective sing a Ray Charles number, that will have you cringing with embarrassment.But i love the film!There's something about it that brings me back to it time and time again.It's certainly well directed,even though it's far from being Ridley Scott's best film.The film has an impressive look,with some stunning photography,and some memorable japanese locations.The main reason why i love Black Rain, is Michael Douglas,whose performance is quite simply awesome.He takes a really cliche'd character and brings him to life,giving the film more credibility than it deserves.Add some explosive action,and some brutal fight scenes,and you've got a dumb cop film thats hard to beat.

Starman (1984)

the start of John Carpenter's decline

[25 August 2002]

This definitely marked John Carpenters decline in quality films.It's almost as if after the commercial failure of The Thing,he decided "If you can't beat em,join em" I'll make a Spielberg type film,with nice aliens and a sentimental story.He certainly did that with Starman,and boy does it suck!Lame,stupid,and brainless,with a performance from Jeff Bridges that wears thin real quick.The plot is full of holes,and full of moments that insult the viewers intelligence.This is pretty similar to Cocoon,in that both films are bad science fiction,and just as daft as one another.The trouble is,Carpenter is basicly doing a director for hire job,which probably exlains the total lack of originality and suprise you normally find in his films.It is unbelievable just how predictable and unoriginal this film is.And oddly old fashioned,it actually reminds me of one of Disney's live action films from the seventies,only not as good!This was a tragic mistake for Carpenter,and a massive dissapointment for his fans.

The Mummy Returns (2001)

worst kind of sequel

[24 August 2002]

ok the first film wasn't a work of art,but this takes the biscuit! brainless,noisy,with some really daft sequences,topped off with some awful spfx,and the kidnapped brat needed decapitating!

Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse (1991)

fascinating stuff

[24 August 2002]

Best documentary about the making of a film ever. This is fascinating stuff. Scary,funny,and always compelling, watching this you wonder how the film ever got finished. All the main actors contribute interviews for the film, (except Brando of course)and all are quite revealing. There's also contributions from George Lucas and John Milius. Some of Milius's anecdotes are highly amusing, and we get to hear excerpts from his original screenplay, a lot of which was never used, unfortunately. Some amazing footage shot by coppolla's wife include, Martin Sheen drunk and dangerous on set, Coppolla trying to get an obviously high Dennis Hopper to remember his lines, and poor Coppolla trying to shoot the ending with an uncooperative Brando selfishly wanting to do everything his way,and get paid millions for the privilege! If you are a fan of Apocalypse Now or even if you have an interest in cinema, this is a must see.

Fire and Ice (1983)

a far cry from disney!

[24 August 2002]

Based on the art of Frank Frazetta,this animated sword and sorcery adventure is pretty good.Featuring a blonde muscular hero,and a voluptuous sexy heroine,this has some guttsy action and plenty of swordplay and violence thrown in.What makes this different to most other animated films,is its rather daring adult content.The male villain seems to be attracted to the hero,and the heroine is captured by a lesbian witch!Beautifully animated,with very realistic movement (even throwing in some slow motion violence),this is a far cry from Disney! General Cromwell says check it out.

Eye of the Cat (1969)

a little gem

[24 August 2002]

This Hitchcockian horror tale is something of a little gem.A hugely enjoyable romp,which is extremely well made,featuring some scary and horrific moments,but also blessed with some wickedly funny black humour.The performances in the film are good.Michael Sarrazin is enjoyable as the laid back nephew with a cat phobia,and Gayle Hunnicutt is deliciously evil as his scheming girlfriend.Among the films twists and turns theres some great moments,and a nailbiting climax that has *POSSIBLE SPOILERS* Sarrazin in a cat induced catatonic state,and Hunnicutt terrorized by a pack of vicious felines.The film also has the best ever cat-fight in cinema history,between Hunnicutt and Sarrazin's ex-girlfriend.Purrfect!