evo-lander Reviews

The Shepherd (I) (2008 Video)

I enjoyed it

[7/10 · 13 September 2008]

I enjoyed it. There you go, I said it again. I even bought this movie on DVD and enjoyed it a couple of more times. Call me old fashioned but I prefer movies like this to garbage like Die Hard 4 which hold up the box office and get critical acclaim just because you have some old guy saving America. Van Damme moves well for a guy of his age(47 I think), delivering kicks that reminds one of Kickboxer. If you like old school action and and explosions, this is the movie to watch. This is one of Van Damme's best works.

Van Damme and Steven Seagal movies get released theatrically where I live so I never miss a chance to watch our old school action stars on the big screen.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)

Grow a set

[8/10 · 16 August 2008]

I was waiting to buy a ticket when I heard a couple of boys talk about this movie for which I was to purchase a ticket. "It has Jet Li in it, how good can it be," said the boy who seemed to be wearing a pair of pants three times his size. 'Lets go and see Singh is King". This is the type of reaction that you get where I live to any films that have Jet Li and Jackie Chan or any other martial arts actors.

What does this have to do with my review. Nothing except that I went ahead and bought the ticket and guess what? I enjoyed the film.

This movie is no worse than say, Pirates of the Caribbean. What I found really interesting is that most people who enjoy movies like that are calling this movie rash and unbelievable.

This movie had the humor, the visual effects and the presence of good actors to make it work.And it did.

What is really gonna be interesting is the reaction from the whiners when they hear that there will be a sequel. No wait, they will still go and see it and whine about it some more even though they should have had the sense not to go and see it.

Iam sure my review will have almost everyone saying they won't find it helpful, considering most of the readers only come to this page to cry and throw tantrums about how awful the movie was, hey, someone had to say this.

As for those who were saying the actors lacked chemistry, heres an idea. Grow a set of balls, get a life and try your best to get a date... and watch more action movies. The chemistry in movies won't help you get laid.

Lost (2004–2010)

Plausible?!

[2/10 · 30 May 2008]

WOW! Let me lay it straight, the only people who say that they really like this show don't really understand it but don't want to feel like a fool in front of their friends.

If you add up the backgrounds of the characters with all the ridiculous flashbacks, none of them will make any sense. Basically all of them are a bunch of screw ups who did something to redeem themselves with their sad screwed up lives. I doubt even the writers know what the hell is going on.

Which brings me to the storyline, where if you took a life detector test, everyone who said they understood it who be confirmed liars because the writers themselves can't decide whether to make the plot a horror one with ghosts or something with a lot of suspense and in the end come up with something that is hopelessly in between( in other words, absolute crap). In the first season the bald guy miraculously gets his legs back and in one of the latter shows is chased by some black smoke. The Island is filled with everything from guns to food supplies left there by some strange "force" in the form of shipwrecks, plane crashes and what not. Oh, and you also have a bunch of people who are living on the Island, many with not so good intentions like kidnapping boys and other ridiculous activities. The people seem to have been summoned on the Island by a mysterious force not to mention a group of people from the DHARMA something, who believe that a certain something has to be done to prevent the destruction of the world.

The critics who praised this show are easily impressed by what they don't understand. If you enjoy this show, that is okay with me( not that you really have to care) but please don't go around acting like this show is a work of art.

Shortland Street (1992– )

Idiotic

[1/10 · 30 May 2008]

Typical show about a bunch of people who don't really know what they want, mostly the women, who spend years beating around the bush about some guy at the same time fooling around with other guys. Then they get together and cheat on each other again. The women have a track record and they still play the 'holier than thou' routine. The man are displayed as wimps who take the women back no matter what the opposite sex do.

SEE! I just described the show and I hardly watch it.

This is the type of show that women can enjoy, something that they dream will happen to them in real life. This show has as much continuity as an earthquake. This show is quite popular in New Zealand and Fiji, but then in Fiji, the people jump up and down every time they see a Bollywood film, which are directly based on Hongkong and Hollywood films, so one can't say much about them.

I heard that a Indian woman has joined the cast so let me just tell you what will happen. The woman will fall in love but then her Indian family will intervene but the girl will defy the odds and be with that guy, only to later cheat on him and then GUESS WHAT?! they get back together. Typical Indian storyline which is popular in almost every Indian film.

I'll save my own time and describe this show in one word. ABYSMAL!

The Forbidden Kingdom (2008)

Excellent!

[10/10 · 1 May 2008]

I have read a lot of comments about this movie, those that don't like action, those who have a problem with the acting and those who look for a decent storyline line but claim to be disappointed. But then, these are the same people who go to watch romantic movies(even the men)and claim that The Bourne Ultimatum had intense action sequences, even though none of them know what was going on but don't want to feel like an idiot.

This movie is great with a decent storyline. True it has its faults but what movie doesn't? I didn't go for the story though, I went to see it because it had two legendary martial artists, two action stars who deliver despite their age more than any Hollywood action star will ever accomplish.

For those whining that Jet Li is a bad actor have you ever seen his Hongkong films? Did you ever notice his expressions? Just because he can't speak English properly does not make him a bad actor, which is the case for actors like Van Damne.

What you have to remember is that Jackie Chan delivers more kicks in one fight scene than Keanu Reeves in the entire Matrix trilogy.I fail to understand how idiotic comedies do well at the box office while great Martial arts action films don't. Oh well! Martial arts is not for the weak hearted losers who want romance.

Overall this is a must see for martial arts fans or anyone else who doesn't have anything against some good natured fun. Me? I recommend to everyone, regardless of age and gender.