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Deo mun (2023)
A pointless movie
Korean movies have come a long way and have become a major force. I didn't consider watching Korean movies in the past, but during the past few years, I find myself watching more and more Korean movies. However, a movie like this is an embarrassment to the burgeoning Korean movie industry.
This movie fails in multiple dimensions. Most importantly, it is simply devoid of any meaningful story. It pretends to have a storyline. Indeed, it tells a lot of stories -- a young astronaut trying to realize his father's legacy, a failed scientist trying to redeem his failure, humanism that goes beyond national interest, etc. But, all the story elements are cliche at best and do not fit coherently at all. It is just a mess created by combining fragments of the stories from the past space disaster movies (e.g., Gravity, Martian, etc.).
The acting was truly horrible. Do Kyung Soo, who is supposed to be an ace UDT (the elitist special force in Korea), looks totally clueless and just screams during the entire movie. He is reminiscent of a B-level horror movie actress B, whose job is just screaming around until she dies. Seol Kyung Goo portrayed one of the most cliched character in the movie history, and it was just embarassing to watch Kim Hee Ae, especially when she was making a "saving the Korean astronaut speech to the American astronauts".
The special effects were mediocre at best, although I must acknowledge that the Korean movies have gone a long way to be where they are now (in a very short period of time). The series of events happened during the course of the movie were more or less random without amounting to anything.
All these amount to a movie that has no point. There is no story that we can immerse; the acting is too poor to be appreciated; the events are uninspiring and random. There was nothing I could salvage from this movie. This movie might offer some value to the fans of Do Kyung Soo, the protagonist, who used to be a member of a popular Korean idol group. Otherwise, you will do yourself a favor by skipping this movie.
The Creator (2023)
Nothing makes sense in this movie
As the title suggests, nothing makes sense in this movie. Perhaps that's because I lack creativity, and I am close-minded. Recognizing my shortcomings, I tried to be as open-minded as possible, and I even watched this movie twice to make sure I didn't miss any deep message. My conclusion? I just wasted 5 hours of my valuable life.
I gather that the movie is supposed to be about the tension between human and AI. The core issue of this movie is that it is almost completely devoid of any explanation of the source of this tension. Perhaps the source of tension is up to the viewers. If so, the movie should offer a context by which the viewers can create a schema about the world and develop a world view. But due to the incoherent, plot holes, and illogical behaviors/actions, it is not impossible to create a world view.
Are all the people in the East AI? Some of them look like a human, but all the major characters with a dialogue were AI, so I am not sure. Why would the people in the East wage a war to protect AI? The whole story is so illogical that a story about the war between vegetarians and non-vegetarians would make a lot more sense.
Also, the movie throws in a lot of sub-standard visual effects just for the sake of it, but most don't add much to the story (actually, most disrupt the story), and many, if not most, are illogical and nonsensical. For example, the West has a super weapon, a flying fortress with powerful missiles. When they identified the location of the "weapon" (the child), why didn't it shoot a missile to the location? Instead, they sent a dozen of commandos.
What is the point of the self-destructing robot runner? The East soldiers could destroy a gigantic tank with a throwing mine (and detonated by a monkey!). Yet, an entire troop couldn't stop it from running on an wooden bridge (just throw a grande on the bridge).
The West and the East have been at war for decades, and the East is losing. Yet, there are vibrant cities in the East (depicting Tokyo) with neon signs. Then, all the soldiers and bases look like from the 19th century. This reminds me of a 007 movie from 2000s. 007 crashlanded near Seoul, South Korea, and the scenery looked like one from the Vietnamese War :) Such ignorance blatantly pervades in this movie. Truly pathetic.
This movies tries to be something, but I can tell you that there is NOTHING in it. Please do yourself a favor and skip this. You won't regret it.
Otto no chinpo ga hairanai (2019)
Sex is just sex but not love -- Do you even know what you are talking about?
Many reviewers have criticized this series for being slow. Yes, it is excruciatingly slow, but it is quite common in Japanese TV shows, and slow developing sometimes has some positive effects on character building and story telling. So, I can tolerate that.
But the real problem with this show is that its core premise is just too unbelievable. The couple's problem could have been solved easily if they had sought for professional help. If you google the problem, you will hit many medical advices for it. It is a well-documented condition. A method that is as simple as a muscle relaxer could do the trick. But the best solution the couple came up with was using baby oil and trying to force it in. Well, they could have at least picked up a bottle of proper lubricant from a nearby 7-11. Apparently, the show was completely silent about the medical help because, if it did, there would not be any story to tell. The couple is either extremely stupid or masochistic. This core premise of the show is so unbelievable that I couldn't take this show seriously.
I was also annoyed by the false message that the show is trying so hard to sell. The protagonists kept saying, "Sex is just sex but not love". I assume that the show is trying to say that physical relationship is not important for love. But that just sounds like an excuse for infidelity, doesn't it? The problem with this message is that the whole show is about how important sex is for love. The poor couple struggled so much due to their inability to have sex to the point that the couple almost destroyed themselves; the lady went on a sex spree with random jerks, and the husband used his last penny on prostitutes. Contrary to the message that the show is trying so hard to sell, the whole story tells the exact opposite -- i.e., sex is really important for love.
I gave 4 stars because the acting was decent, especially considering how difficult it must have been for the actors to act on such a flawed script. You will do yourself a favor by skipping this show.
Beast (2022)
Dumb and Dumber in Africa
The title of this movie should be "Dumb and Dumber in Africa" but not "Beast". There is no beast in the movie. There are only a dumb lion and dumber human beings.
This is as bad as a movie can be. Not a single scene in the movie makes any sense as the characters (including the lion) make the worst possible decision that any living orgasm would not make. Not once or twice, but EVERY DECISION. It was truly painful to watch this nonsense.
The highlight of the movie was when Idris decided to face the lion with a Swiss knife (literally), saying "It is not going to stop". I laughed so hard that I almost cried at the scene (well, at least, this movie gave me a chance for a big laugh). He must have thought that he was in a superhero movie.
The director and producer must have not seen a single natural documentary because they did not know anything about Lions and what they are capable of. A lion has a bite force of 600-700 lb/inch. Any human's leg would be crushed in one bite. But our hero, Idris, could fight off the lion for good 3-5 minutes. They should have at least watched Blue Planet before shooting this movie.
Please do yourself a favor and skip this movie. Even if you are in a plane and this is the only movie you haven't watched, please don't watch this. You will thank me.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
Nothing Nowhere none at any time
I've watched my share of boring, uninteresting movies. However, it is unusual to come across a movie that is as painful to watch as this one. This movie is literally painful to watch as it gave me a pounding headache only after 30 minutes or so. I had to take two Tylenol Extra Strength tablets after watching (seriously).
I am a first-generation Asian American who raised a teenage girl, so I should be able to comprehend the protagonist's mind better than most. Yet, I could not sympathize with any single moment of the movie. I repeat NOT A SINGLE MOMENT.
As the title of this movie indicates, a lot of things happen on the screen. Yet, not a single moment was meaningful or had any depth. Everything happening on the screen was a series of absolute randomness without any meaning whatsoever. They were simply an excuse of flashing 2nd-rated CGI. The endless repetition of the same random craziness led to unbearable boredom and headache, and ultimately drove me crazy. You would have more fun watching a hamster turning a wheel as it will at least put a smile on your face.
This movie is one of the biggest Hollywood hypes I've ever had a displeasure of suffering from. No ordinary human being should be able to enjoy this movie, so I suspect that the hype was driven by all the mindless "free" thinkers who were brainwashed by the critics and influencers bribed by the studio. It is not surprising as we are living in an era in which Kim Kardasian is revered by the crowd. Yet, it is truly sad that people lost their own ability to think themselves and simply herded by someone else's opinion.
I sincerely hope that the average rating of this movie goes down as people come to senses.
65 (2023)
A Movie You have already Watched
When you start watching this movie, you will soon notice its story and setting seem very familiar. That is because you've watched a dozen of movies of the same story: A man who lost his daughter meets a girl who lost her parents in a crisis situation, and they build trust and help each other for survival. Sounds familiar?
There is absolutely no originality in this movie. It is a mere collection of all the cliches that you've watched in some other movies. The setting is somewhat interesting, but most of the scenes were simply rip off from Jurassic Park. You are better of watching Jurassic Park one more time than watching this movie.
John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)
3 Hours of Absolute Boredom
This movie has achieved something that no other movie has ever achieved: This is a long movie with a running time of almost 3 hours (2 hours and 49 minutes), but the entire 169 minutes are simply an endless repetition of the same 10-second clip -- i.e., Keanu Reeves shoot a guy twice on the chest, grapple him, shoot one more time on the head, and refresh and repeat with another guy.
Other than this, there is absolutely nothing in the movie. No decent story. No decent acting. No reasonable character development. Nothing. There is not even a single memorable action scene in the movie as all the scenes are something they have already used in the previous movies in the series. Each action sequence lasts good 10-15 minutes, and it was excruciating to watch them because it was so boring to watch the same action scene over and over.
If you take a 10 minutes action sequence from the original John Wick and repeat it for 17 times, you will get John Wick 4. This is truly atrocious. Our time is worth much more than this.
Buldojeoe tan sonyeo (2022)
A Pure Nonsense Pretending to be an Intellectual Narrative
I watched this movie on a plane. Judging from the title and the preview, I thought it would be a story about a courageous young lady who overcame insurmountable hardship and achieved a personal victory in an unfair society. This is a cliché that I've watched many times, but I decided to give it a try because I thought it would be at least a decent time killer (which I needed as I was on a long-haul flight). Alas, this movie could not even deliver that simple cliché. It was a total mess of pretentiousness and presumptions.
The director apparently wanted to make an intelligent, thought-provoking narrative on inequality like Parasite. There is no question that inequality is one of the biggest issues we face today, and that we should attend to it. However, the story portrayed here is almost NOTHING to do with inequality. I said "almost" because inequality plays some role here; like any other society, the Korean society is more generous toward the haves, and I do not deny that inequality played some role in the protagonist's hardship. However, her hardship was inflicted mostly by her father and herself but not by the society -- especially, the father. For this kind of movie, character development is everything. We need to care about the protagonist and his/her supporters; otherwise, the movie simply won't work. But the director and the actors failed so miserably in developing likable characters that I could not care less about what happened to them.
The father of the protagonist is portrayed as a victim in the movie, but he is not. He is a true villain of the story. You may disagree, but please allow me to share a list of his wrongdoings:
- He was an alcoholic and gambling addict. The movie implies that he became one due to his loving wife's untimely death. Many people experience a loss of loved ones, but most don't make it an excuse to become an alcoholic and gambling addict.
- Being an alcoholic and addict, he apparently neglected his parental duty. Both children were poorly taken care of. Especially, the protagonist had become a serious delinquent who frequented correctional facilities. When he interacted with his children, he showed no respect nor love.
- He made a 4-year leasing contract with his boss and blamed his boss for asking him out after 4-years. Yes, his boss "verbally" promised that he could stay as long as he wanted, but why would he rely on a verbal promise when he signed on a 4-year contract? This is in the realm of common sense. Yes, his boss was greedy and dirty, and he should not have made a commitment that he could not keep. But that's a whole different matter.
- To resolve this, instead of legal actions or simply refusing to vacate the restaurant (this is surprising effective in Korea; I know because I am in consulting business in Korea), he brought a knife and threatened his boss. This is a serious crime.
- He ended up stabbing one of the staff at his boss' office. This is an assault with a deadly weapon. He could go to prison for many years for this.
- He stole the boss' car, yet another serious crime. And he drove it while fully intoxicated. Another serious crime.
- He hit two people while driving in a fully intoxicated state and hurt them. I was so puzzled that those who got hurt were portrayed as villains. Even though they were careless, who is more responsible? Drunken driver or a jaywalker?
- He was an owner of a restaurant, and he did not pay his employees' salary for months, while he was throwing away money on horse racing.
He made at least 6-7 felony crimes (illegal gambling, grand theft auto, assault with deadly weapon, drunken driving, and drunken driving accident, to name a few). Is he really someone whom we should sympathize with? To me, he was just an indecent human being and horrendous parent. Is it really inequality that destroyed him and his family? Should the society cheer for a person who destroyed one's (and his family's) life with drinking and gambling?
What was even worse than the father's character was the protagonist's. She was just a destructive, angry young lady. She constantly exhibited anti-social, psychopathic behaviors and was extremely violent. She had no remorse for her violent and indecent behaviors. There was NO depth in the characterization. Perhaps there was supposed to be, but the actress who played the role totally failed in showing any depth. She was one of the LEAST likable protagonists I've seen in a movie. At the end of the movie, she chose to destroy a building with a bulldozer, which could hurt someone. A serious crime, again. I really couldn't care less about her.
I don't really see a story of a conflict between classes or inequality. This is a story of two destructive individuals who could not control themselves and bring them down into a spiral. The director was seriously confused in this movie and was completely lost in his own intended narrative, which is a shame because he does have several good movies on his credit. This is a very hollow movie without anything in it. I don't think you will miss anything if you choose to skip it, and I strongly encourage you to skip it.
Heojil kyolshim (2022)
A Confusing Tale of "Supposed to be" Romance Thriller
Park Chan-Wook has several excellent tiles in his filmography and is certainly one of the movie directors who are leading the recent Korean media content renaissance. Unfortunately, his talent was totally wasted in this project.
The biggest issue with this movie is the lack of chemistry between the leading characters. The backbone of this story is the true love that unexpectedly emerged between the protagonists. To make this story work, the viewers should come to believe that they love each other so much that they would sacrifice themselves (both threw away the most precious thing in their life -- the pride as a detective and life respectively). However, their chemistry was as strong as a shop clerk of a convenient store and a random customer. It seems to me that Mr. Park wanted to make a Korean version of "The English Patient", but apparently that didn't work out. There was simply no deep psychological connection, passion or physical attraction between them.
I believe the core problem was the horrible acting of the two protagonists. Tang-Wei is a good actress, but she had to act in Korea, although her Korean level was no better than a second grader. Morgan Freeman is a great actor, but imagine he acts in Korean. I am a native Korean speaker, and it was painfully clear that she could not convey her emotion at all. Since the Tang-Wei's acting was severely crippled, Park Tael-Il could not bring real acting out of him. Have you ever talked to someone who could barely speak English? Your own speaking will become awkward as well to accommodate your counterpart. That was exactly what happened in this movie, and I felt he was reading a script off the wall rather than acting naturally.
Another deep issue was the character development. Tang-Wei is someone who killed 3 people, including her own mother (as her action led to the murder of her 2nd husband, she killed 4 people in practice). OK, I will try to buy the argument that she killed her mother to relieve her pain (although the vast majority of normal people won't be able to kill one's own other). But the other murders are hardly justifiable. How am I supposed to empathize with her when her character tells me that she is simply a serial killer who would not hesitate to kill others for her own sake?
Mr. Park tried to achieve a lot of things with this movie -- romance, crime drama, and psychological thriller. I am sorry to say that he failed in all categories. This movie is a confusing tale of nothingness, and the director and actors seem equally confused.
This movie may not be worthy of 3 hours of your life.
Nope (2022)
The Title of This Movie should have been HELL NOPE
It really puzzles me how the average review score of this movie (over 1,800+ people) can be as high as 6.9. The average should have been 2 or less because this movie is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It is about as goo as the low budget Sci-Fi channel original films (Sharknado comes to mind).
There is absolutely no coherence in the story, and the editing is horrible. The director tries so hard to create a plot twist, but he failed miserably. He should have realized that he could not have made a plot twist because the movie does NOT have a plot to begin with. The entire plot is a nonsensical rambling with no coherent story or message. Jordon Peele reminds me of Night Shyamalan who has been perpetually failing to replicate his first and only success -- Six Sense.
Other than the poor story, directing and editing, I also found the acting quite underwhelming to say the least. Daniel Kaluuya seemed like a depressed person with no desire to live. All the characters are seriously cliched, and their behaviors were incongruent. It was truly painful to watch their acting.
I will not start talking about the alien concepts and the ridiculous connection to connect it to animal behavior because its premise is so ridiculous that it doesn't even deserve any mentioning.
Please do yourself a favor, and do NOT watch this movie. Please say "NOPE" to this movie. Better yet, "Hell Nope".
Yacha (2022)
Making a movie like this should be consider a crime
Making a movie like this should be considered a crime because it steals our valuable time for nothing. I hope you find this review before you watch this movie so that you do not waste 2 hours of your valuable time.
This movie has everything that a bad movie should have: The storyline is totally absurd and lack realism; the characters are the embodiment of every cliché you've seen in the movie; actions are laughable; and the shooting and editing are extremely poorly done. I would not be surprised if this movie gets the "Worst Movie of the Year" award. I would rate "The Swamp Thing" higher than this one.
First of all, the story is less believable than "Johnny English" (by Mr. Bean). You may think I am joking, but I am not. Korean spies engage in a machine gun shootout with Chinese police and kill dozens of them in the middle of a city, and they attack the Japanese embassy even without covering their face and identity. Basically, they declared a war against China and Japan, but apparently, China and Japan don't say a word about. And, those who caused the mayhem are supposed to be patriots. The writer and the director of this movie have the mental ability of a 3rd grader (because I knew better when I was a 4th grader).
The common sense is missing from not only the major plot but also almost every single scene. Just take the scene in which the team leader of the Korean black ops sets up the protagonist (the prosecutor sent from Korea) with a hooker and drug, and it was supposed to be a practical joke. Using drug is punishable by death in China. What a wonderful joke! How about the woman with him? She will be executed!
The editing of this movie is completely amateurish. The scenes jump from one to another abruptly, and some action scenes are cut off in the middle of action (most likely because the scenes were poorly shot, and they didn't have usable clips). The story itself was nonsensical, but this poor editing made it even more painful to watch it.
The acting is also terrible. I cannot fault the actors because I guess Anthony Hopkins and Jack Nicolson couldn't have acted better if they act using such badly written scripts.
Korean movies have come a long way, and Koreans are making some great movies and dramas. But movies like this garbage undermine the effort of other great Korean movie makers. If you are the producers of this movie, please stop making movies so that you don't drag down other great movie makers.
The Marksman (2021)
I CANNOT write any spoiler for this movie
As the title of my review suggests, I cannot write any spoiler for this movie because the story is so predictable that you will know what will happen after watching the first 3 minutes of the movie; it is just a series of cliches, and there is absolutely no memorable moment in this movie. This movie might have worked in 1980s but definitely not in 2020s.
Liam Neeson decently played the cliched character but it is painful to watch him playing the same character that he has inherited from Clint Eastwood over and over again. One of the biggest problems of the movie is the poor acting of the kid. The kid is central to connecting the story with the movie viewers. For this story to succeed, we (=the movie viewers) should care about the kid. But because his character was so poorly developed and badly acted, I was never able to connect with his character.
The story also has so many flaws and holes that it is difficult to believe the story. The 4 Mexican cartel members should have been recruited to FBI or CIA because they could locate a pickup truck in the vast network of interstate freeways in just 3 days. I don't think FBI can do that. Let's not go to "burning the cash" moment.
Finally, it is a minor point, but the title of this movie is misleading and irrelevant. Why is the title of this movie "The Marksman"? Is that simply because he uses a rifle with a scope? It appears that the director/producer wanted to capitalize on the popularity (and the coolness factor) of "sniper" movies, but that definitely didn't work here.
Please save your time and skip this movie. You will not miss a thing.
Black Panther (2018)
A Big Budget "Sharknado"
This has to be one of the most hyped movies in the movie history.
The acting and the scripts are so bad that it was embarrassing to watch the movie. The story is so boring that it was excruciating to endure the running time (I am not even sure if it had a story). The action sequences are so poorly done that it made Ultra Men (1960s Japanese movie for children) look good. For me, the gold standard for a bad movie is Sci-Fi Channel's Sharknado. To be fair, it is slightly better than Sharknado, but not so much better.
It is apparent that Oscar and the Hollywood have succumbed to the political correctness. Please do yourself a favor and do NOT watch this movie.
The Equalizer (2014)
Hollywood Cliché Meets Random Violence of Asian Movies
I watched this movie not in a theater but on a plane, and I am glad that I did. If I had watched it in a theater, I would've had been depressed for a long time.
The story of the movie is extremely predictable--a former special agent meets a helpless girl, and he uses his superhuman ability to kill any bad guy who stands between him and the girl. Because this story has been used in so many movies, it seems making another movie based on the story is completely redundant. Yet, they decided to make another one, and this movie follows exactly the same cliché. The plot is as predictable as it can be.
The character development is also extremely poor. Our hero (Denzel Washington) risks his life and breaks vow to his beloved deceased wife for a girl whom he barely knows. There is no chemistry between them nor any rational for his behavior. The movie is also filled with cliché characters--cold-blooded hit-man, dirty cops, underachiever who needs a mentor to name a few.
The director tried to make up for the lack of an interesting story and memorable characters with gruesome action scenes that are directly imported from B-level Asian action flicks. Although Denzel could've simply picked up an automatic assault rifle dropped by a bad guy and shot down the rest of them, he chose to use construction equipment to do the job. He was even able to kill a highly-trained former Russian special force hit-man wielding a MP5 submachine gun with a Black and Decker nail gun in a cowboy style shoot out. This might entertain 12-year old boy whose brain is filled with nothing but testosterone, but it makes the movie extremely ridiculous. The action scenes are so ridiculously unbelievable that I couldn't take this movie seriously.
In sum, this is a movie that does not have much reason to exist. You will feel that you've seen at least a dozen of similar movies in the past. Please do yourself a favor and skip this movie.
Gravity (2013)
Are You Afraid of Saying "the King is naked"?
I watched this movie with a great deal of expectation because there was so much hype about this movie (not to mention the multiple Oscars it received this year). What I did not know was that I would have to endure the most excruciating 2-hours of my life. This movie was one of the worst movies I've ever watched in my entire life, right there with Swamp Thing or Mega Shark (SciFi channel original movie).
As many reviewers pointed out, there is almost no story in this movie. The special effects are nothing to write home about, and the physics and science in the movie are seriously flawed in most parts (I have an engineering degree, so I know one or two things about the law of physics). It is also filled with so many cliché that it was really difficult to take this movie seriously.
Further, the acting was so horrible that it was embarrassing to watch it with both eyes open. Sandra Block was usual herself--as annoying as ever. She continuously blurted out incoherent words. It seems that her acting skill has never improved since Speed.
Also, it is extremely annoying to see the constant efforts of Hollywood to flatter Chinese (Did you watch "2012"?). In the end, it was the Chinese product that brought Sandra Block safely back to the earth. I understand that Hollywood needs to sell movies to China (after all, it accounts for more than 1/4 of the world population), but please stop flattering them. It is getting really annoying.
I admit that I could encounter with a bad movie from time to time. Not all the movies can be like Shawshank Redemption or The Lord of Rings. I picked a wrong movie and wasted 2 hours of my life. It was my wrong-doing. However, what I cannot understand is the glaring reviews that this movie received by the critics and movie-goers alike. I do not rule out the possibility that I may be a stupid one, but it is a complete mystery for me how this could be considered to be a good movie. Is this a bad case of "group think" in which everyone is afraid of saying the truth? Let me tell you something: "The king is naked" and "this movie is really, really bad."
Babel (2006)
A Definition of an Over-Hyped Film
There was much buzz about this film, and I've been wanting to watch this movie for a while. As a movie fan, I actually felt ashamed that I didn't watch this "supposed-to-be-a-great-movie" sooner. I finally had a chance to redeem myself last week when my friend came over to my place with this movie. Naturally, I began to watch this movie with great anticipation.
The first part of the movie was good. The stories that unfold in 4 continents were very intriguing. It was thought-provoking, and made me constantly think about how all the stories would come together at the end. The cinematography was also beautiful and the acting was not bad at all. Even Brad Pitt was tolerable in this movie, which is not usual.
However, after about 1/2 way through the movie, it began to fall apart. All the tension in the movie began to disappear, and the story became very incoherent. I expected that the 4 stories being told would coherently come together in the end, and give us a conclusion. But in the end, they were just random stories that are very loosely connected among one another. There are some connections--i.e., the rifle given away to a Moroccan by a Japanese hunter was used in the shooting of an American tourist, and this made the Mexican nanny of the American family make a bad decision of taking kids to Mexico. But this is it.
I guess the message that the director tried to send us is that everyone in this world is more closely interconnected than we think, and that the actions we do can influence others. This is an important message, but the director has miserably failed to send this message effectively.
In the end, this is one of the movies that are like King's clothes. Everyone can clearly see that the king does not wear any clothes, but people complement on his clothes because he is "supposed" to be wearing good clothes. This movie does not have anything in it, but people praise it because it is an artist movie and it should have something in it.
This is not a good movie by any standard. Oh, did I mention that it is absolutely painful to watch a 40-year old actress in high-school uniform?