Change Your Image
dirtysoap
Reviews
Cold Feet (1989)
Strange. Bad. Hilarious.
The movie "cold feet" is a really lame, 1980's attempt at humour, wherein Tom Waits plays a murderer whom you're supposed to like. Because he cries, and plays with children. But, even his humourous ways and decent acting can't save this horrible, horrible movie. There are definitely some funny parts in this movie, but they're totally unintentional. Tom Waits fans can appreciate this, other than that... Nobody should see this movie. Ever.
The Rules of Attraction (2002)
Looks like Another Teen Movie - Wrong!
This movie's pretty good, uh, for reasons other than all the violence and language, sex and other things. First, it took some family and/or teen drama wholesome TV stars and put them in "oh no i'm shattering my squeaky clean image" roles like Drug Dealer and Incredibly Huge Slut Not to say, of course, that Jessica Biel is huge. Fred Savage plays the wonder years kid pt. II - The College Years in a short drugged out scene where he sticks a cigarette in his bellybutton and plays the clarinet. Uh, what was I saying? Oh yeah, this movie has great acting in it. I was really kind'f surprised and wasn't even going to rent it because i thought it looked horrible. I rented it sarcastically, you know, for the reasons you might rent Glitter with Mariah Carey. But, I say again, I was actually surprised at how it was pretty funny and cool.
Moby Dick (1956)
I loved this movie.
Watching Moby Dick if you've read the book is really quite satisfying -a few things are switched around but it's still the ol' whalin' tale of the sea. Of course, it doesnt have all of Melville's subplots and connotations you study in school, and thankfully, none of Ishmael's technical rants. You know, about the size and color of whale's livers. What I was really anticipating, though, was Ahab - Would he be crazy enough? How do you capture the pure insanity of the character? I concluded that Gregory Peck did as good a job as is humanly possible. The previous comment was right, he did look like Abe Lincoln.
Roger & Me (1989)
Where does Michael Moore find these people?
Is it slander to cut someone's speeches in with scenes of poor people getting evicted? No, but it sure is... insinuating. The movie Roger & Me is rare. It shows one side of an argument thoroughly and convincingly - the devastation caused to Flint, Michigan when GM closed their plant and ended 30,000 jobs was undoubtedly bad. Scenes of that, paired with random ignorant people saying "why don't they all just do sumthin' bout it?" really infuriates. While it's not the whole picture of the Flint situation, it's the best, most identifiable, by far most convincing picture. The plight of Flint's citizens, at least, was brought into light and recognized (Of course, the town is still a s***-hole.) There needs to be more movies like this.
Dancer in the Dark (2000)
Bjork can act.
I dont want to spoil this movie, but think of the saddest, most tragic things that can possibly happen to a working class woman who is going blind and put them in a movie with touching muscial scenes that are in stark contrast to the reality of the woman's life. It's absolutley awful, but makes for a serious movie. The claustrophobic filming adds to the frustrating-ness of the plot, which by the way is extremely frustrating. It's downright cruel. 10/10
Citizen Kane (1941)
Orson Welles brings it.
The oddest thing about Citizen Kane is how it doesn't seem "old" like other black and white movies with old slang, polite plot lines, and guy-gets-girl endings. Even the camera angles are surprisingly new-looking. The plot is that Citizen Kane is real rich and famous with his newspaper, praised and admired by all but has conflicts in his personal life. But the plot isnt at all important to the themes of the movie. Also, Citizen Kane doesnt strike me as a "character in a movie" in the sense that he's either A. A stereotype B. A flawless hero or C. someone who goes through a big important change in his life. He seems like a real person in a documentary. In short, I think it's was an amazing movie, more than just entertainment.
Igby Goes Down (2002)
Alright
It's so trite for a movie to be fun and engaging, and have lovable characters. Why be trite? Instead, let's have a movie about mean kids and their sorry little problems, then have them kill their mother. Although this movie has a good soundtrack, and will lower your standards, making you think there are some redeeming qualities in it, it's kind of hard to get into. Actually, I cried at one point in the movie, but I wasn't sure if it was the art of the film or the fact that it reminded me of my own problems. "That is so unfair!" I thought inwardly when Ryan Phillipe's character (which was the same as in cruel intentions & probably various other Phillipe classics) seduced and slept with the stupid vegetarian girlfriend of his brother- which in a mangled way represented my own recent losses in the stock market, and brought me to tears. I'd recommend this movie if you like smart sounding dialogue and bratty kids with wacky parents.
Crumb (1994)
Only for thinkers.
This is a documentary about Robert Crumb, the cartoonist who does raunchy, stream of conciousness cartoons that could only be underground- they're too odd for the mainstream. The movie shows, not tells, possible reasons/ motives for a lot of his controversial stuff, that mainly being his family. The brother who takes tranquelizers and lives with his mom, a virgin somewhere in his 40's and the brother who takes Haldol and makes himself swallow a string and pass it through his digestive system as a form of meditation. The movie raised interesting questions - Do Crumb's cartoons have underlying social commentary, or is it just smut? R. Crumb is predominantly disgusted by the 50's keep-up-with-the-joneses facade of family life, saying it's wrong, scary and those kind of people need help. On the other hand, I wouldnt be surprised if someone said that about his family.
Howard the Duck (1986)
Please don't watch it.
This movie is so weird. It stars a duck who looks like a human in a duck suit, and he lives on a planet exactly like earth except for ...ducks. Caroline in the City is in it, and she has this intimate relationship with the Duck. Unlike some bad movies, this will actually steal two hours of you life as well as your soul, and will leave you cowering in front of your TV, unable to speak or stop crying.
The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
This movie will Gene your Hackman.
Royal Tennenbaums is a story about a family, starring many popular actors and actresses. But you forget about Gwyneth, Ben, Luke, Owen, Gene, Bill and Danny to embrace a charming group of characters that remind you of "real" smart people; as opposed to being brilliant, inspirational and cute lil' geniuses, they are completely insane. Kind of like your own family. The theme seems to focus on who the characters are now- crazy nuts vs. who they used to be- bright, unusual children with promise, all held together by Royal himself, played excellently by Mr. Hackman. The humour isn't supposed to be slapstick, the plot isn't soap-opera dramatic. The movie is both more realistic and more caricature than most.
The Incident (1967)
Intense Cinema
The Incident is one of my favortie movies of all time. It takes a bunch of regular-joe characters and puts them together in a situation that exposes their true character- they get harrassed by some punks in the subway. one soldier doesn't get up to fight the hoods, the black man can barely contain his anger towards racism, and the normally strong characters are reduced to scared, weak and ineffective people in the face of danger. The best part about this move, though, was the perfectly executed suspense. Nobody came out and blatantly expressed fear in the movie, but it was conveyed through the actions and the viewer really feels it. The way it was filmed in a subway car replica, excluding outside shots made it claustrophobic and even more intense. as a side note, i tried watchign this movie with someone who has ADD, and they couldn't sit through the opening credits. oh well.
This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
The movie rocks AND rolls.
I saw This is Spinal Tap some time after it was made - I was only a twinkle in my mother's eye in 1984, but when I saw it, i laughed a lot. A lot of people say that movie has "subtle" humour, it's not laugh out loud and I think that's true because it hits terribly close to home - same with Best In Show and A Mighty Wind, the characters are weird and wacky but just normal enough that you can think of someone you know who is eerily like those idiots, and you hold back your laughs. What really made the movie great, i think was of course there are these stupid idiot caricatures of rock stars, but at the end you secretly hope the band doesnt split up or anything.