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The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
Why does Avengers even exist?
This may not be the best Nolan film or even the best Batman film but it is definitely a gracious step down for this Batman series. Yes it is too long, the plot is far fetched, and some characters drag the film down(Catwoman). But it manages to keep up a consistent pace throughout the film, most likely due to the fact that the film rotates around not just batman but also around Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character.The film feels like the plot of Batman Begins in the backdrop of The Dark Knight, but without Heath Ledger to carry the film. Tom Hardy feels wasted as Bane, not only is his face mostly covered but his voice is completely distorted, making it possible for anyone with Hardy's build to play him. The film does feel like a mess (much like this review) but it has that Nolan genius that makes his films so entertaining. This is how Superhero movies should be made, and not like the last 5 or so films from Marvel including the Avengers which was the worst of the bunch.
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)
Lets hope Michael Bay directs the sequel
to make a film out of an action figure is Cinematographic suicide, G I Joe is a toy for children 20 years ago but this film is a film for people 200 years ago. Only then would people be amazed at the stupid amount of cgi and the fact the pictures were moving. All other aspects of the film were diabolical. Hasbro stop making cgi porn out of childhood toys, they make Cinema terrible. This film obviously spawned from the success of Transformers, I am surprised Michael Bay didn't direct this film. At least Transformers didn't have Channing Tatum in the lead role. Channing Tatum is one of the worst actors along with Vin Diesel and Jason Statham. He can only act in action movies because they consist 99% of explosions and punching stuff. He probably made up his script up along the way because it's hardly likely that he can read. The rest of the acting should have been good since the rest of the cast is good but their acting is a joke and I am not surprised they are not returning for the sequel. As for the plot... Yeah about that, they forgot to make one. So it seems like they attempted to improvised.
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
Cosmo Stinson
How I met your mother has been around for a good 6 years now and is going as strong as ever. How I met your mother is most comparable to Seinfeld, possibly the greatest sitcom of all time. The way Seinfeld kept up its enjoyment factor was through its comedy and brilliant cast. Neil Patrick Harris as Barney Stinson brings much of the enjoyment to the show, his character is much like that of Kramer's. Crazy, Stupid, always taking advantage of other characters yet still a great friend. Other comparisons to Seinfeld are the sometimes nonsensicle plot lines, ending in madness. In order to make an enjoyable sitcom, the characters must face interesting and amusing situations, How I met your mother fulfils this task, just as Seinfeld and Malcolm in the Middle have done in the past. At least it hasn't fallen into a rut, much like Friends did from season 1, using dull, predictable story lines episode after episode.(and still became so popular, which is beyond me)
Blade Runner (1982)
Seriously 8.3
What a waste of time. 2 hours however long of my life wasted. I watched the directors cut and boy is it boring. Easily the most boring film i've seen since avatar. I personally love sci-fi films whether it be star wars or alien. My favourite book of all time is enders game. The film moves so slowly that I could feel my hair grow faster. There are literally 5 things that happen in the movie. People read way to far in this movie about how it's supposed to be about how the robots were more humans than the people, personally I believe that's a load of poppycock. When the original was released nobody went to see it, the original was cut and given a commentary for a reason, the film was too long, boring and doesn't make much sense. The commentary helped this film so much, it gave it a story and stops the watcher from having to make up some random story to stop themselves dosing off.
Warrior (2011)
Rocky who?
Jesus Christ. Where to begin. Easily the best film I've seen all year, and I've watched Drive.I was literally on the edge of my seat from start to finish, phenomenal acting from the entire cast made this such a joy to watch. I've seen Never Back Down, which had one good feature; the gorgeous Amber Heard, and that was a shambles of a film about mma. To say this is the Rocky of mma films is an understatement. Stallone cannot touch Hardy or Edgerton in their acting prowess. This is easily the definitive sports film. Every bout, every fight between family members was breathtaking. The only sports movie to come close in terms of sheer brilliance is Coach Carter. When you watch this film you will cheer for both sides, both fighting for just causes and neither for themselves.
Ratatouille (2007)
Seriously how can this film get more than 1 star
The fact this film is about a rat cooking for humans is absolutely repulsive, putting me off of French food. The French stereotype in the film is also incredibly offensive. I don't understand Disney's love affair with rodents, there follow up film 'Tales of Desperuex' was just as awful. Personally rats and mice are horrible and most people would probably agree with me. Disney/Pixar's quality of films in the past 10 years has really dropped, since 'The Incredibles' all their other films have been dreadful, excluding Up and Toy Story 3. I would rather watch a marathon of Vin Diesel movies than have to watch this film again. Please stop making films about rodents they're not cute, they're vermin and need to be kept as far away from my food as possible.