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Foodies (2022)
Good fun
Foodies is a fun, light-hearted movie sprinkled with sweet & hearty romance and tangy food blogger drama. If, like many others, you don't particularly like Dutch movies, you may be impressed with how well-made this one is! It has a lot of funny moments that will make you laugh out loud, although some moments can be a bit over-the-top. The romance is believable and well set up, and the social media-driven food blogger drama is relatable and relevant in this digital age. The cast is varied and representative (and attractive!), and lovers of Amsterdam will enjoy the settings and music choices.
All in all: I recommend this movie for anyone who is in the mood for a light-hearted feel-good film, follow some character-driven drama and is willing to have a laugh. As far as Dutch movies go, you could do a lot worse!
One Week (1920)
One of the best comedies of the era!
This short film has everything: hilarious slapstick, well executed physical comedy, great set design and ingenious use of props, and even special effects. It transitions from one absurdity into the next, and it is sure to make audiences chuckle a century later. A definite must-watch for comedy lovers!
Mest kinematograficheskogo operatora (1912)
Century-old adulterous beetles still impress
110 years on this remains an impressive piece of stop-motion animation, and it would still be impressive if it were made today. For fans of animation, especially stop-motion animation, this is an interesting watch. The time and effort that must have gone into producing a stop-motion film of this length using real insects, and with detailed and functioning set designs, really shows throughout. The story is slightly clichéd and contrived, but still manages to amuse nonetheless.
The Loud House: Study Muffin/Homespun (2016)
Study Muffin is the Loud House's poorest episode.
The Loud House is a show that has been praised for its progressive representation of women, but the episode 'Study Muffin' did not live up to its reputation. The plot is centred around the sisters falling for their new English tutor. The sudden attraction felt forced and unreal. Even though it was played for laughs with the unrequited love, it still sits poorly with me. The sisters are usually depicted as outgoing and outspoken (Loud, if you will), but are suddenly submissive and shy around the tutor, and are depicted as having romantic feelings for him. The episode's plot shows little regard for the reality of manners of age or the fact that the girls may have non-heterosexual sexual identities (later thankfully rectified in 'L is for Love'). Instead worships a uniform heteronormative mentality. The only reason the sisters value the tutor is for his appearance and accent, presenting children with a skewed perception of romance. The episode doesn't try to explore the feelings of the characters or portray them realistically, instead it is a cheap, shallow excuse to present a woman as an agent of sexual desire. It also implies that sexual attraction is universal and occurs at first sight, with little regard for personality.
Some bits were funny though. 2 stars.
Pet Sematary (1989)
Just read the book.
An inoffensive movie, but nothing stands out. Poor acting, fast pacing, and the best parts of the book are glossed over. The special effects were good though, and still hold up, but weren't enough to make the movie scary.
All in all a barely decent horror movie, but good for people who are too scared to watch good horror movies.
Waco: The Rules of Engagement (1997)
Snoozefest
I watched this documentary expecting a story of a wacky cult: it didn't deliver. It's a boring collection of court and media footage centring around how the police handled the situation. Total let down.
If you're expecting a level of sinister abuse that'd you'd find in Jonestown or NXIVM - or hell, in Action Park - you'll be sorely disappointed and bored out of your mind.
Biker Boyz (2003)
Exactly what is say on the tin
Boys on bikes: Morpheus and Antwoine Fisher feud over who's the best biker in California. Drama ensues.
An interesting plot if you like motorcycle racing, not so much otherwise. The revealed tensions don't really add to the story, and the movie doesn't do much to enamour you to its characters. In fact, I found Kid to be a rather unbearable brat. Yet, the movie was pretenseless and somehow sufficiently enjoyable, so I'll give it a pass.
Annihilation (2018)
The only thing annihilated in this movie is its potential
My main gripe with this film is that it has great ideas and then executes them frustratingly poorly. For a movie that was obviously meant to be atmospheric and introspective (and granted, the world building is excellent) it gets no time to breathe and actually establish an atmosphere. All willing suspension of disbelief is constantly thrown out the window.
The dialogue is a major stumbling block for this film; it is awkwardly fast-paced and hackneyed, and akin to what'd you'd expect from The Room (2003) and NPC dialogue in The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. Every character is perpetually in the uncanny valley, and seems to have zero motivation. Nobody acts like a human in this movie; soldiers run head-first into danger and scientists are completely apathetic about groundbreaking discoveries. You can't build suspense if nothing makes sense.
This script and cast would've made for a great movie if it had been directed by Guillermo del Toro, and edited by someone who actually knows about pacing and colour grading. The actor's performances were only so-so, and I get the feeling that the director failed to get the best out of them. The various instances of CGI ranged anywhere from poor (opening, alligator) to great (climax). All in all, a sub-par film that I wanted to like, but has absolutely nothing going for it that makes me want to watch it again.