dean2900 Reviews

Magic for Humans (2018–2020)

This is all staged

[1/10 · 11 September 2018]

This show is basically as honest as Chris Angel. Video Editing and paying people to pretend to be surprised is not magic.

The show would have been better off going with less spectacular but real street magic or just be a prank show and show how the pranks are being done to the audience at home.

It (I) (2017)

Lacks any sort of tension, creepiness, and is over-hyped

[4/10 · 22 October 2017]

This second adaptation of Stephen King's It is making me question weather movie studios can buy positive reviews? This is not a horrible movie as the characters where fleshed out as much as they could be in just over 2 hours.

It felt very much like Stand by me as a coming of age story minus any of the interesting things.

This movie had ZERO tension at all. The movie simply played typical horror movie music and then had the loud jump sound as Pennywise jumped out which happened over and over. There really was way too much of Pennywise in the movie. Unfortunately, he was night scary or creepiness in the slightest to anyone over 8 years old.

Dean

Room 104 (2017–2020)

Complete Garbage

[3/10 · 8 October 2017]

This ranks up with Perversions of Science as I one of the worst HBO series ever created.

I can put up with the genre change each week but the genre does not matter if the content is boring.

This is obviously "inspired" by the British series Inside No. 9. Unfortunately, HBO didn't improve upon that show but made this feel like a inferior clone.

Dean

The Mist (2017)

Cheap looking and wooden acting

[3/10 · 28 June 2017]

I hope the show gets better but the first three episodes were pretty disappointing. The goth gay kid and the date rape in Episode 1 was really a bad start. The fact that the acting seems very wooden especially from the lead female actor is not the way to translate the novella. The CGI effects are just bad. They either need to spend the money required to faithfully adapt the book concept or at the very least have characters that the audience likes. This show has neither. I hope it gets better but I am not holding my breath.

Dean

The VVitch: A New-England Folktale (2015)

There is nothing new to see here

[3/10 · 21 June 2016]

The trailer did an excellent job of making this look creepy. Unfortunately, the movie did not have a scary moment or much interesting happen at all.

The ending seems clichéd, the acting was OK but nothing special, and I could have sworn I have a saw a movie from the 70s that had the same plot and identical ending.

I you really are a hardcore fan of horror movies, I would skip this one or wait until it is on Netflix.

I am shocked by the 6.6 rating it currently has. This feels like a movie that should have around a 4.5 rating.

I don't mind that the movie was slow paced but you have to make the slow pace count with an occasional creepy scene, something that makes the audience uncomfortable or something.

I give it a 3 out of 10 and feel like they should have rated this PG-13 as it is only barely R and there is absolutely nothing even slightly scary. The trailer was 100 times better than this stinker.

Deadpool (2016)

Just non stop jokes that mainly fall flat (NO Spoilers)

[2/10 · 16 February 2016]

First off, I do not read comics so I do not know the source material, I am not a fan-boy of Marvel or DC I just want to see entertaining movies, I may be in the minority at least during it's first week of being in theaters but I wanted to write a review to warn others what Deadpool is like.

The movie is honestly a nonstop exercise in profanity with a lot of sex jokes and masturbation jokes especially. I am fine with low brow humor when it is funny. The writers just seem to have Reynolds throw out as many wisecracks as possible and hope that some are funny. I think anyone over 30 will be bored with the jokes. There is nothing that offends me from hearing all these jokes but rather bores me because the lack of humor. It is very much like having to listen to some teen kids try to show off by using non stop profanity only to realize they are just making themselves look dumb.

The plot is nothing more than a simple background (origins) story and it is run of the mill. The movie has a lot of violence but nothing creative. The movie is very similar to Super and the Kick Ass movies. However, those movies were superior to Deadpool on every level IMO. The movie also reminds me of the Vacation remake. The 2015 remake of vacation was pretty much one raunchy joke after another but they are not funny.

This movie may just be better for younger audiences but I still feel the 30 and up demographics are not going to find this to be a very good movies unless they are a fan of the source material.

I give it a 2 out of 10. It gets an 2 instead of 1 only because Morena Baccarin was a side character. She did the best she could with the limited material.

Dean

The Green Inferno (2013)

There could be a good social commentary but it failed

[3/10 · 18 December 2015]

I do not understand the success that Eli Roth has had. His movies seem juvenile and torture porn seems to be his choice.

If you have seen Cannibal Holocaust then skip this as it adds nothing knew to the genre.

This is about a bunch of wealthy (above average at least) middle class white kids that go to South America to boycott destroying the rain forest and end up getting caught by a Cannibal Tribe.

Unfortunately, the production company paid the tribal people money to act in movie even though they have never seen TV before. Lets just say it shows that they don't understand what TV/Movies are.

The sad part is that this movie really could have tried to make a very in-PC point that maybe the loggers are the good guys and the tribes (at least if they really were cannibals) need to be wiped out. It also missed it's chance to show that kids in college boycott things they know very little about makes them seem like the dumb people in this show.

I cannot guarantee that added a little more commentary in it would make it a better movie but I don't see how it can be worse.

Roth delivers plenty of gore like all his films but is nothing any seasoned film-goers has not seen many times before.

I truly believe with a smarter plot, perhaps more humor, and creating more of a thin line could have made this a much smarter horror movie and allow it to stand on it's own merit other than being nothing more than an update of Cannibal Holocaust.

Dean

III Slices of Life (2010)

Good concept not realized due to terrible acting

[3/10 · 11 June 2011]

I really do love horror anthologies and wish there were more made. I was hoping to be able to look past the budget and enjoy the film.

Unfortunately it is impossible to look past non professional actors and watch a film in which this will be the only movie the main characters will be in because it just makes you want to cringe wit every line of dialog spoken.

This has three stories and a wraparound story much like Creep show. The only story bearable is the final of the three.

The movie is not scary, has zero tension, and when it attempts humor it falls flat on its face.

I do not recommend this movie to even die hard horror fans. I do believe the stories could have been rewritten and made into a good little horror flick. However, this does not happen when you get your friends and family as the cast.

Frozen (I) (2010)

Don't be fooled by the hype **contains MINOR spoilers**

[3/10 · 14 September 2010]

I had heard a lot of positive reviews about this movie from the film festivals. I liked the very campy Hatchet which was made by the same director and also thought the premise of three people stuck on a ski life could be interesting.

Wow, how wrong I was. This movie is absolutely boring because 80% of the movie deals with three uninteresting one dimensional characters whining and not putting together a rational thought on how to get off the ski lift. These people could not think of using clothing to make a make shift rope Of course all of them left their cell phones in their locker and not insider the zipped compartment inside their ski jackets like most people do.

It basically is lazy writing to create situations that were supposed to create tension. The wolves waiting below the ski lift is laughable.

It appears that no one involved in the movies had ever been skiing and knew nothing about so many different things. Suspenson of disbelief is one thing and I can live with it as long as the movie entertains. However, this movie just draws attention to it's own stupidity by being so boring and having wooden characters.

You would be much better off watching the cheap made for SCIFI (SYFY) channel movie where giant mutant spiders attack the ski resort. I cannot remember the name of it right now but you can google it.

I gave it 3 out of 10 stars solely on the fact that think the premise was good and a good movie could have been made out of the basic plot.

Dean

Road Kill (2010)

Silly (No Spoilers)

[4/10 · 6 August 2010]

I do not want to ruin the movie with the premise or the secret of the Road Train but I have to say it comes across as Silly. The actors were competent but not too likable. The FX were really bad in some places but I can excuse this due a low budget. The movie was soundly made from a technical standpoint.

However, the movie is not scary at all and really is stupid with the twist that occurs slightly more than half way through the flick.

This movie like all low budget movies has a 10 star review from someone obviously involved in the film at some level. No rational person who has seen more than 10 movies would give this movie more than 5-6 stars.

The movie is trying to be compared to Spielbergs very well made Duel and to a lesser extent Joy Ride. Anytime a movie comes out and the marketing mentions good films that it is similar to is the ultimate red flag. It is a dead giveaway the film is not good.

This is slightly better than most DTV low budget horror flicks but that is not saying much. I gave it a 4 out of 10 but will say the director shows potential.

Dean

Bronson (2008)

No Clockwork Orange

[4/10 · 12 November 2009]

This movie was advertised as A Clockwork Orange for the 21st century. That is an awful bold statement to post in the previews (although it supposedly came from a review).

I have to tell you that put some red flags up for me that they were trying to compare to another movie instead of trying to make this movie sell based on it's own merit.

If you are expecting anything like A Clockwork Orange then you are going to be disappointed. This movie lacks the acting, cleverness, depth, and themes that made A Clockwork Orange one of the greatest motion pictures ever made IMO.

This movie does have a pretty decent performance from the lead character but suffers from poor writing and a lot of unneeded scenes that add nothing to the film.

I really feel like I know nothing more about what made Bronson "tick" after seeing the movie despite his monologues.

The movie does make strong commentaries about prison systems and justice but it does nothing to make it a memorable experience.

I gave the movie a 4 out of 10. Overall it fails but does have some decent parts. However, it is several notches below A Clockwork Orange.

Dean

Trick 'r Treat (2007)

Do Not Believe the Good Reviews * *NO Spoilers**

[3/10 · 26 September 2009]

This movie was originally scheduled to be released in 2007 but test screening went bad. The writer of this movie also had penned the Superman Returns reboot which had bombed badly. The studio realized the movie is very bad and dropped it.

The only reason I am spending time posting is because of this continued trend of studio plans and viral marketing. It is real simple, the studio buys some critic reviews and compares it to John Carpenters Halloween (which is a joke) and then at the time of this review out of 800 votes, over 600 of the people rated the movie 10/10. That does not even happen with the Godfather, Shawshank, LOTR, and other top movies of all time.

The movie was so bad that the studio buried it. They are now going all out to try and sell this movie before REAL REVIEWS are made of the movie and word of mouth explains how bad it is.

There are no scares, no laughs, no tense moments, very little blood/gore, no T&A, etc. I don't mind it lacking the last three as long as it is a good movie but this is not.

I cant imagine who would like this. It felt closest to a knockoff of Tales from the Darkside the Movie without the real book ends and without decent special effects, some minor scares, etc. In fact, it was basically plot less and not tied together neatly. It was lazy writing.

You have been warned.

Camille (I) (2008)

Finally something original (No Spoilers)

[7/10 · 17 January 2009]

As most people I am tired of the by the numbers clichéd movies that Hollywood makes. There seems to be no creativity in Hollywood. Companies only want to spend money on remakes are sequels that have an audience built in.

This movie is a welcome change. It could be classified as romantic comedy for it's genre but don't let that turn you off this movie. This is a very original movie which is not like most things Hollywood produces.

If you are reading this, you already know the basic plot so I will not bother going over that. The only movies that come to mind to compare this to are "Interstate 60" and "Art of Travel" which are little known gems that take a different path than most of the Hollywood garbage.

This is well worth seeing if you are tired of watching more of the same.

Dean

The Alphabet Killer (2008)

YAWN! Very bland and boring film

[4/10 · 21 December 2008]

It is really hard to believe this movie comes from the same director and star of Wrong Turn. I have to admit that I did not really enjoy Wrong Turn it was intense and well made.

This movie is about a schizophrenic detective who is trying to track down a serial killer who is killing kids who have the same first and last initial in their name. The movie is told almost completely from the point of view from of the detective (Eliza Dushku).

I have to say I was interested in this because I respected the director for energy he put into Wrong Turn and had really liked Dushku on Tru Calling.

The movie is bland and the story is really not interesting. There is no excitement or really any surprise plot twists that make come into play.

This is probably the tamest R-Rated movie you will ever see. Is has no gore outside of some dripping blood and has a flash of breasts for less than second in a non sexual content. In fact there is no sex, blood, or violence outside of dead bodies and a attempted suicide. I believe it uses the dreaded F word two or three times. I am in no way saying the quality of the film is related to the adult content. This movie has mentioned along the lines of Se7en. It honestly is closer to the Sixth sense if you took out good acting, a great story, and a fantastic ending.

I believe this movie went to theaters shortly and then was immediately sent to Video because the studio knew this was not a bad film.

I truly believe the director was trying something different and to show the point of view of a person with severe mental problems and what she sees. Unfortunately, the film never gives the viewer anything to be interested in.

If you like the CSI type shows then stay home and watch your favorite one of those because it will be more interesting than this flick.

End of the Line (II) (2007)

Much better than most movies of this type (spoiler free)

[6/10 · 18 December 2008]

This is a low budget horror movie of the slasher genre. At least 95% of these film are pure garbage. This is the rare exception.

The only thing you need to know about the plot is that this film is about a group of people who are stuck on subway that breaks down with a creepy religious fanatics on the train. The rest of the plot is best left to be discovered during the film. There is a lot more to the film but this is the type of movie that should be seen knowing as little as possible about it.

However, I have to say that End of the Line is one of the creepiness movies I have seen in a long time. It actually does a good job of creating a feeling of dread for the viewer. It will actually be scary to many viewers which Hollywood Horror flicks have not been in a long time.

The movie also has some depth as the events that may or may not have happened have some possible explanations.

I gave the movies a 6/10 on IMDb but as a horror movie, I would say it deserves a 8.5/10. There are certainly some flaws with the film and it is low budget but the acting was good for this type of film even though you don't get a chance to learn much about the characters. It had a good bit of blood/gore but it was not over the top.

If you like horror flicks then this one is definitely worth checking out! Dean

Resident Evil: Degeneration (2008)

Not very good to a non gamer

[4/10 · 3 December 2008]

I have never played the RE video games so this review is simply from a perspective of whether or not it is entertaining.

I have seen the first three Resident Live Action movies and found them to be quite entertaining.

However, I have to say that the Live Action movies were better than this CGI Film. The CGI characters looked unnatural although some scenes looked better than others. The plot really was not that interesting about the T Virus and the terrorism.

If you have not played the video game then I would advice you to stay away from this. I did give it 4 stars because I was able to make it through the whole movie but there is really nothing interesting. Also, this is a very weak R Rating. There very little blood and gore in the movie and no sexual situations or nudity. I think it should have been PG-13 personally.

Dean

The X Files: I Want to Believe (2008)

X Files: I cant believe how bad it is

[3/10 · 1 August 2008]

I am not a hardcore fan of the show but enjoyed many episodes especially the ones that dealt with the supernatural and not the alien takeover.

I enjoyed the 1st movie although it was not great, it at least was entertaining.

I went to see this movie because I knew he plot was not the alien takeover and it was more along the lines of the paranormal.

Unfortunately, this movie could be categorized as drama more than a show dealing with the supernatural. The script for this drama was dreadful and I cannot believe it received the green light. The movie failed to generate any tension at all and was boring. It seemed as if the characters had phoned in the performance and the 1 1/2 hour running time seemed like too long for the plot.

I did not look at the budget for this movie but it had next to zero special effects and no elaborate sets. A normal television episode looked better than this.

The bottom line is that this movie is a complete turkey and marks the end of the x files. The only people that are going to say it is good is hardcore fans who would like any x files show or movie regardless. Unless you are a die hard fan of the series than avoid this like the plague.

I am giving this movie a generous 3 out of 10.

Dean

Diary of the Dead (2007)

Best Romero film since Dawn of the Dead

[8/10 · 27 April 2008]

I was in no rush to see this film. I liked the original Night of the Living Dead and loved the original Dawn of the Dead.

I found Day of the Dead to be a disappointment and Land of the Dead to me downright horrible.

What I am to expect from Romero with a low budget making a Blair Witch/Cloverfield Digital Cam Film? I expected the movie to be bad but have some redeeming qualities.

I was shocked as the Digital Cam was not annoying and didn't cause Vertigo and it was professional edited. I don't want to spoil the plot with more details.

This movie is filled with creepy moments, gore, and social commentary. This is by far the best Zombie film since Dawn of the Dead.

I have seen a lot of negative comments about this movie. My suggestion is to read as little about the film plot as possible and go in with an open mind.

This is a good horror movie. I personally find the Zombie genre to be very hit or miss. For every Dawn of the Dead, or more recently 28 days later, there are at least 10 horrible Zombie movies made.

I now am hoping Romero does indeed make the two more Zombie films he has claimed to want to make. This one didn't do great at the box office but I suspect it will make money off Video Sales and Rentals.

Dean

Funny Games (2007)

Pointless Social Commentary

[2/10 · 14 April 2008]

This may contain MILD spoilers.

I like good horror/suspense movies in a genre which is full of PG-13 Asian Horror films that are Americanized or complete torture porn such as Hostel.

I was hoping this movie would be different. Unfortunately, the director simply wants to make a point about violence in movies. He basically is stating that people that enjoy the violence are sick.

As for the movie itself, it does have a good performance by Watts and overall the acting is good. However, it builds no suspense and breaks the cardinal rules about films. The characters talk to the audience and uses a remote control to change the events of the film.

I don't know who movie would appeal to. It does not have much violence for the gore hounds and I don't find a couple of psychopaths torturing a family (all off-screen) to be entertaining.

The movie has no suspense, humor, violence, and only a message that violence is bad.

I personally am not a gore hound but I do think the director does not give people enough credit. People know violence in movies are make believe. Why waste 2 hours of peoples times trying to make a social commentary against violence in movies? This movie is nothing more than a waste of time.

My recommendation: Go Rent (or Buy) Stanley Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange which covers similar territory but in a much better way.

Dean

The Kovak Box (2006)

OK movie which should have been better

[5/10 · 23 December 2007]

I love the basic premise of this movie and it sounded like it could be good based on the plot, filming locations, and some decent actors.

Unfortunately the movie fails at being creepy, scary, or even creating any form of tension. I get the feeling that the actors were just going through the motion.

There is no chemistry between the two main characters, the Villain seems very weak, and there are no real surprised or twists.

This movie seems like a toned down "In the Mouth of Madness" filmed in the Mediterranean.

My best advice is to rent In The Mouth of Madness instead.

Dean

Hatchet (2006)

It's hard not to like this movie and I am a tough critic

[6/10 · 21 December 2007]

I do believe that about 19 out of every 20 Hollywood movies made are complete garbage. The ratio is even worse with horror flicks. No other genre contains as many bad movies as the slasher horror flicks.

I like good horror movies and hate the recent trend of torture porn flicks which is Hostel, the Saw Sequels, and pretty much anything from Eli Roth.

Hatchet is not going to be for everyone but the Director did a great job of making a fun self-aware movie. The movie is more a homage to the genre. It does not take itself serious at anytime. There is a lot of non CGI excessive gore but it is done over the top and is done for laughs. The movie is not scary nor was it designed to be scary.

The best part of the movie is that it creates some likable (yet goofy) characters who the audience can root for.

If you want to watch some mindless fun and like slasher movies then you could certainly do a lot worse. The movie is barely over 80 minutes and is filled with tongue in cheek humor, lots of bare breasts, and over the top violence.

I give it a 6 out of 10 which is quite good for this type of movie.

I Am Legend (2007)

Not very original CGI fest

[4/10 · 21 December 2007]

I am Legend has a great premise and could be a great movie. However this movie is really nothing more than an excuse for the studios to use as much computer generated animation as possible. The opening scene looks pretty good to see a desolate NYC but once the CGI creatures are introduced then it is nothing more than eye candy.

Will Smith was OK in this movie. I do think he could have been very good with a much better script. His dog Sam was probably the most intriguing character of this movie.

The biggest problem outside of the CGI fest is that the story was too short. It felt like there was a 2.5 hour story to be told that was rushed into 1.5 hours. There are flashbacks which explain part of the story but not enough depth at all. There are moments in the movie which I wont spoil with the detail that makes little sense.

My recommendation is to skip this one and see either The Omega Man, The Last Man on Earth, or the wonderful "Quiet Earth" which is probably of the best of the Last Man on Earth movies.

P2 (2007)

Below average slasher flick

[4/10 · 11 November 2007]

It was quite obvious that people involved with this picture in some way wrote some of the early reviews giving this a 10/10. Anyone who gives this movie above a 6 has some sort of tie with the motion picture.

First, let me say it is not terrible. That is the only compliment I can give though.

This is nothing more than a woman being locked in a building with a psychopath. You have seen it before and this brings nothing new to the genre.

As with movies of this sort, any person met before the main character is abducted by the madman will be killed along the way. Cars don't start, cell phones don't work when you need them to. This one went with the NO SERVICE theme as opposed to the battery dead theme.

The woman desperately tries to escape as with all similar movies and when she realizes at the end that their is no escape, she kills the madman and then is able to walk out of the building.

The movie is played seriously and has no intentional humor. It is honestly is very ho-hum and if you have seen more than 3 similar movies then you will be bored.

Skip this one.

The Last Casino (2004 TV Movie)

Enjoyable little flick

[7/10 · 18 August 2007]

As a person who has been "asked" to leave a casino for keeping a running bias count, I obviously have a interest in the subject matter.

The plot centers around a college professor who has been banned from the casino(s) in his area for counting cards. He owes a good bit of money to the "investors" who has been banking him. He recruits kids good at math from the university to win money back from the casino.

I always like the idea of someone sticking it to the casinos as the casinos give such horrible odds to players.

The fun of the movie is how the kids react and handle the pressure of using a system to beat the casino. The systems they use in the movie would not work in Casino's in Vegas and Atlantic City but variations of the system has been used for a long time by card counters.

This is a fun little movie for anyone who has been to a casino especially anyone who plays blackjack.

Dean

The Outer Limits: Valerie 23 (1995) Season 1, Episode 2

Good episode

[7/10 · 18 August 2007]

This episode appears on the Sex and Science Fiction Collection of the Outer Limits new series.

This doesn't cover new territory as it tells the story of an android programmed to be a companion who develops human emotions such as love, hate, jealousy, etc. The themes are very similar to many old sci-fi novels and even the TNG Star Trek in debating what separates a human from an android.

This is the Outer Limits so you know something will go awry.

Don't expect a masterpiece but it will entertain you if you like sci-fi.