eidolonse Reviews

RoboCop 3 (1993)

Disappointing in all departments!

[3/10 · 8 February 2009]

Lacking the gritty over-the-top violence and dark subversive humor of the first two Robocops, this third installment disappoints on pretty much every level. Horrible dialogue and acting litters every minute of Robocop 3 - that's not too say the first two were better, but at least they made the viewer smile rather than cringe. Most disappointingly of all, Robocop 3's PG-13 rating also fails to deliver heart-pounding extravagant action that was always present in the first two films.

The movie moves slow - it doesn't bother to excite the viewer by providing fast paced story telling or explosive action. Severely lacking in this department, you shouldn't expect any exciting firefights or boss battles. In fact, the Kanemitsu cyborg which is sent to destroy Murphy in what we expect to be an exciting and action-packed finale ends with no cathartic explosive climax, but rather a whimpering premature ejaculation of listless fighting scenes. Murphy spends half the movie disabled from a fusillade of gunshots that have never left a scratch on him in the past. No fake commercials or newscasts that touch upon our cultures corrosive mentality makes you nostalgically pine for what you remembered to be a whacky, funny and ridiculously over-the-top movie franchise.

The terrible story, the boring unfolding of the events, the lack of action and violence, and the missing element of subtle humor and comedy makes Robocop 3 an epic failure in all departments.

The Forbidden Kingdom (2008)

Fun and beautiful, but poorly polished.

[6/10 · 10 May 2008]

We can finally see Jackie Chan and Jet Li together in an action packed adventure movie, and for the most part it doesn't disappoint. Although the story, reminiscent to early 80's adventure films about an unlikely hero who overcomes great adversity, was overly predictable, the end result was a visually beautiful and engaging journey through feudal China riddled with the culture's interesting mythology. Jackie Chan and Jet Li, as always, delivered an action packed performance of ballet-like battles that have become popular due to movies like "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon." Unfortunately, this made the fights lack the essence of suspense. They were entertaining, yes – but there were no moments of trepidation or concern for what will happen to the characters. At the same time, the soft and poetic fight scenes rarely made you feel any intensity in the punches or kicks that were often being thrown. For a PG-13 film, however, there was enough mild violence, blood and death that the storyline wasn't overly sugar-coated.

The films fast pace, only briefly slowing down near the middle, as well as the accentuating music, breathtaking visuals, and a simple but effective story-line was able to create a fun filled adventure film that younger and older audiences can both enjoy. In the end, however, because the movie lacked well-formed character relationships and any empathy for our group of heroes, the adventure film will beg us to wonder if this was the best that Chan and Li could fester up.

The City of Violence (2006)

A City Worth Visiting Only Once

[6/10 · 9 March 2008]

Although the title suggests an epic action film, the story is more or less about corrupt internal politics of local thugs – which is not necessarily a bad thing because of the interesting story, good soundtrack, and visual appearance of the movie.

From start to finish, the cinematography projects a very classy appearance backed by the equally suitable music score; with both elements channeling retro aesthetics without appearing outdated. The film is also visually and auditory reminiscent to classics like Kill Bill and Lupin, while a nostalgic arch in the story makes you think about Stand By Me.

The story, as often is the case, focuses on an explosive derelict in search of his friend's killer, which somewhat sluggishly develops into a more complicated story about gang politics. Fortunately, the film benefits from a malevolent napoleon-complex driven villain who you truly love to hate because of his fear tactics and interrogation techniques.

There are times where the film tries to be comedic, but because of poor execution, it doesn't work very well. The action scenes were also pretty sparse and usually revolved around one or two guys managing to fend off a gang of 100 while over-using flying kicks the way you never see them used in real-life fights. The worst aspect of the battles was not their scarcity but their lack of distinct breath-taking choreography – no remarkable fights or memorable strikes. Although the fight scenes were non-intuitive, the visuals remained top notch through the whole film. The disappointing knife scene, which resembled interpretive dancing drivel with lots of flying kicks and people taking an unbelievable amount of punishment, none the less, still looked visually appealing.

The strong points: good music, great visuals/cinematography, well developed characters and a decent story. The weak points: somewhat sluggish plot development and forgettable fight scenes.

5 or 6/10

Dog Bite Dog (2006)

A Fierce Bite from a Slow Moving Dog

[4/10 · 4 March 2008]

As it is often the case, the impressive and explosive trailers of Asian films add up to nothing more than lackluster stories. Similar to Unleashed (which was great,) Dog Bite Dog tells a story where men are raised as ferocious savage dogs that carry out their master's bidding. The main characters, an emotionally undeveloped, amoral killer who is matched against an equally unstable police officer, are far from the common heroes and villains we often see. In fact, by the end, you lose track of who you're supposed to empathize with, failing to feel even the slightest emotion for either of the men – whether that was the failure of the director or perhaps the underlining message he was trying to tell is up to you to decide.

Although the beginning of the film was filled with intrigue and unpredictability, by the half-way point it slopped down to a humdrum story of survival and revenge. The suspense which was evident at first soon disappeared because of a grossly mismatched music score which brought down the potentially effective story telling. And in the end, you were left feeling that all that detailed background information and introspection of the main characters was somehow very unnecessary.

On the plus side, the transition in story from point a to point b was quite atypical compared to US movies – so those who aren't familiar with Asian films and are tired of Hollywood's predictability should check it out.

The white balance seemed off throughout most of the film. It was like looking into a picture shot on fluorescent when it was supposed to be set on tungsten. Maybe I'm the only one, but it strained my eyes.

The movie also enjoyed playing tricks on you – an interesting build-up gave me hope for the slow moving story until it was diverted to a low budget, low speed chase scene. And just when you think you were going to get an unanswered indie ending with a mix of Shakespearean tragedy, you realize that it's not an ending at all, but rather a transition into a wacky country-music montage about peace and serenity.

Throw in some grisly from-behind choke scenes, a moment of redemption unexpectedly brought back into savagery and back again the other way, Asians' fascination with bodily fluids and a horrible music score that didn't match the film, and you get the average bland Asian thriller.

I just don't get why every fight scene was overlaid with clips of roaring lions …I thought they were supposed to symbolize dogs? Ultimately, in the end, we are reminded about a true killer that still lurks amongst us – tetanus.

4/10

Sunshine (2007)

Brilliant and aesthetically gorgeous

[8/10 · 30 August 2007]

Setting minor plot holes aside, which are irrelevant to the over-all experience felt by the film, Danny Boyle has delivered a visually aesthetic adventure in space that prompts the viewer to think. How would you react being in a crew of eight, on an incredibly long and dangerous mission to save your planet by re-igniting the sun? How would you feel being one of the few to see something that no one else ever will? Although the movie lacked in character development, the film picked up quickly and kept its pace until the end. It's biggest strength was the incredibly beautiful cinematography, with every camera angle meticulously considered and aesthetically executed. The beauty, drama and intensity, however, would be nowhere as amazing had it not been for the perfect music score, which helped convey and accentuate the many emotions present throughout the film.

Disregard the naysayers, whose main complaints revolve around the inability to suspend their disbeliefs. See the film for yourself, and perhaps you will see a wonderfully intriguing sci-fi survival/thriller/horror reminiscent to 2001, Event Horizon, and Solaris.

The Tenants (2005)

Slightly better than I expected

[4/10 · 19 June 2006]

I ended up watching The Tenants with my close friends who rented the movie solely based on Snoop Dogg's appearance (a passionate fetish of theirs) on the cover. Understandably, I did not expect much. I thought the movie would include the typical array of Snoop Dogg related behavior and imagery often seen in cliché rap videos. However, my generalization was for the most part wrong. Unfortunately, this didn't make the movie any better.

Most would describe the movie as a dark serious drama, whereas I would describe it as a dark seriously drawn out boring drama flick. The film tells a story of two struggling writers (Dylan McDermott and Snoop Dogg) who are trying to create their own separate masterpieces. Their polar opposite lifestyles end up forming an unlikely but highly complex and neurotic friendship. This friendship moves throughout the entire movie like a wild roller-coaster - most of which is contributed by Snoop's character - reminiscent of someone with a severe case of split personality disorder. And although the movie is a drama, the acting - which has a morbid and serious tone - from Snoop and company was more comical than anything else.

I wouldn't recommend this movie for those who are attention impaired because this one has a lot of dialogue and a lot more dialogue after that. There are some mediocre conflicts, but even they are mostly bogged down with more dialogue. The end, however, jumped at me with a sudden surprise. It was a little bit twisted, somewhat unexpected and a perfect way to wrap up a movie that needed to end. While watching the ending credits I couldn't help but picture the director thinking, "Oh God, how the hell do I end this snoozer." By the way, the director laid out carefully planted hints and subtleties leading to the climax - all of which are more visible than Waldo in a crowded street of midgets wearing nothing but black sweaters.

Silent Hill (2006)

Not good at all.

[3/10 · 26 April 2006]

What can I say about this movie? Well, simply put, it wasn't good at all. Sure, it started out with a lot of potential but that quickly disappeared after watching the mother run around like a confused and stupid deer for over an hour. Then came the story line, unraveling itself through predictability. After this, there really wasn't much to expect aside from the poorly created ending. Further adding to the over-all poor quality of the movie was the completely unnecessary side-story with the father.

Now as far as the characters. Their personalities and reactions were completely unnatural and forced. The mother, again the center of stupidity, kept switching emotions much like a bi-polar sociopath. One moment she was panicking and screaming for help, the next moment she was the heroic figure of guidance. This, along with her purposely running into every possible danger, made her one of the dumbest characters in a horror movie.

Lastly, what upset me was the following IMDb fact: Contrary to popular belief, Silent Hill hardly uses any computer generated imagery. The most notable use of CGI is the fog that drenches the town. Most creatures are live actors covered in latex and makeup.

This was for the most part, wrong. Over half the movie was littered with CGI.

I will say that there was some interesting imagery, and the first hour or so was suspenseful and creepy. However, it quickly withered away to a boring and dumb horror flick.