Manly muscle-cake Miles O'Keefe and sultry siren Savina Gersak provide the scrummy eye candy for Italian icon Ruggero Deodato's exciting 80s action/fantasy 'Lone Runner'. Despicable desert bandits have kidnapped the handsome princess (Gersak) and steel-sinewed, stubble-chinned, crossbow-master hero Garrett(O'Keefe) rescues her for, hopefully, some plentiful, greatly deserved reward nookie! Not all too frequently mentioned, 'Lone Runner' remains a fun actioner, and maestro Deodato has never been a slouch when it comes to shooting thrillingly slam bang action scenes! I don't care who knows it, 'The Malacoots' is a righteous moniker for a brawling band of desperate desert brigands, and I also dig on composer Charles cooper's synth-tastic score! The Spaghetti Western dubbing and exotic middle-east location are manifestly part of the film's charm, and to its credit Lone Runner features some bravura stunt work, which is nothing less than what one expects from a quality Italian genre picture. I must profess to having an admittedly childlike appreciation of the stout-hearted hero who is capable of almost preternatural feats of derring-do! With an ice-breaker jaw that's tighter than a squirrel's sphincter, tall, heroically chiselled, conspicuously hunky Miles O'Keefe was always one of my favourite B-Movie warlords, and Lone Runner is one of his very best!
Reviews
1,254 Reviews
The House of the Dead
(1978)
an engaging vintage trip into bite-sized terror!
19 May 2024
I genuinely love creepy old 70s horror/fantasy anthologies, so soothingly crumpet cosy, just my kinda' feel good movie! This morbidly atmospheric compendium features four splendidly spooksome tales of mystery and horror, with the more robust instalments giving off deliciously musty cryptkeeper/ Amicus vibes! The eerily home-invading, snaggle-toothed kids, the Peeping Tom-style, camera-obsessed serial killer, and the hubristic super-detectives were my absolute favourites! 'The House of The Dead' remains an engaging vintage trip into bite-sized terror, the performances are fine, the tummy-tingling torments are capably staged by Miller, and the macabre conclusion, while inevitable, proves satisfyingly sinister. As the man has so often said, they just DON'T make 'em like this any more!
Zui mao shi fu
(1978)
I'd like to think that smuggling diamonds in a fake cyst is a thing!
18 May 2024
Director Cheung Sum successfully created a durable, amusingly whacky, panther-paced, action-packed, splendidly slapstick-silly chop socky gem. Kung Fu Master Named Drunk Cat remains a breezy action comedy classic that no serious fan of muscular Kung Fu gymnastics, charismatic chop socking eccentricity, martial art-infused mishaps, and broad comedy shenanigans should miss! There's a lovely cast of familiar Kung Fu favourites, super loud Kung Fu Foley, a pleasing variety of flamboyant fighting styles, funky tracksuits, spectacularly agile comedic buffoonery, groovy library music, plus there's a playful vibe maintained throughout that I really appreciated! Propah Brillo!!! 'Kung Fu Master Named Drunk Cat' is a riotously fun 70s Kung Fu flick, which is only marred by its brevity, and I'd like to think that smuggling diamonds in a fake cyst is a thing!
Bats
(1999)
I feel that this unjustly low balled, fabulously bloody 90s Sci-shocker is long overdue some Radar love, man!
18 May 2024
A young courting couple are graphically slaughtered by a multitude of super-fugly, grotesquely-oversized, uncommonly ferocious bats. Not long thereafter, said red-eyed beasties grimly turn their radar-heightened sights upon the unsuspecting inhabitants of Gallup, Texas. Panic ensues once sheriff Emmett Kimsey (Lou Diamond Phillips) and noted zoologist Sheila Casper (Dina Meyer) disturbingly discover that these genetically mutated bats are extremely deadly, highly sophisticated predators, and not one of them is a vegetarian! All the expectedly lively ingredients are present for a righteous creature feature, prototypical meddling scientist (Bob Gunton), goodly, straight-shooting Sheriff, plucky, whip-smart heroine, amiable comedy sidekick (Leon) and some truly gnarly-looking bats (KNB FX!) Louis Morneau has excitingly produced a slick, nasty-edged creature feature that benefits greatly from its talented cast, mythic western setting and the absolutely eye-poppingly brilliant special FX work of the maestros at KNB! On a personal note, I feel that this unjustly low balled, fabulously bloody 90s Sci-shocker is long overdue some Radar love, man! And Lou Diamond Phillip's solid contribution to genre cinema is no less neglected than his enjoyably Batso B-flick.
No One Can Touch Her
(1979)
Chia Ling rocks!!!!!!!!
17 May 2024
'Against The Drunken Cat Paws' (1979) - Ting Shan-hsi.
This winningly eccentric Kung Fu gem has the purrfectly exhilarating blend of panther-like speed, gravity-defying agility, and feral femme-fighting power! As always, supreme martial arts goddess Chia Ling is a delight to behold in this consistently thrilling rock 'em and sock 'em Taiwanese chop socky epic! If it hasn't already, this zesty, deservedly popular 70s Kung Fu classic is long overdue a quality HD restoration. With loopy, larger-than-life characters, killer drunken 'Fu, and wholly entertaining comedic interludes, this admirably acrobatic, revenge-tastic, non-stop old school fight-fest is a propah banger!
This winningly eccentric Kung Fu gem has the purrfectly exhilarating blend of panther-like speed, gravity-defying agility, and feral femme-fighting power! As always, supreme martial arts goddess Chia Ling is a delight to behold in this consistently thrilling rock 'em and sock 'em Taiwanese chop socky epic! If it hasn't already, this zesty, deservedly popular 70s Kung Fu classic is long overdue a quality HD restoration. With loopy, larger-than-life characters, killer drunken 'Fu, and wholly entertaining comedic interludes, this admirably acrobatic, revenge-tastic, non-stop old school fight-fest is a propah banger!
Corruption
(1968)
A shockingly lurid, uniquely British take on 'Les Yeux Sans Visage'
17 May 2024
This uniquely British, shockingly lurid, conspicuously 60s take on 'Les Yeux Sans Visage' finds respected surgeon (Peter Cushing) profaning his Hippocratic oath in his increasingly gruesome attempts to repair the dreadfully scarred face of his greatly beloved young wife (Sue Lloyd). Arguably one of Peter Cushing's most singular, multi-faceted performances, his initially reserved, public school sang-froid irrevocably corrupted by his wife's desperate need for the temporary succour of this altogether murderous surgical procedure! The first time we observe the good doctor violently assault a young woman, maniacally severing her head for the fleshly ingredients therein, remains wholly indelible! Not only compelling grand guignol entertainment, 'Corruption' is a fascinating 60s time capsule, garish dayglo/Baroque fashions, sleek, open-topped sportsters, hip crash pads, 'wild' swinging shindigs, bizarre beatnik thugs, and an outrageously laser-slashing climax, Hammer Films only rarely got this groovy, man! A relatively undiscovered Jewel of vintage British macabre, 'Corruption' is briskly directed by Hartford-Davis, has a gifted cast, with Sue Lloyd and Peter Cushing on truly immaculate form, Lloyd's manipulative, increasingly shrill performance is not readily forgotten.
Tintorera: Killer Shark
(1977)
Garcia, Stiglitz & George do their very best to keep Cardona's lusty creature feature afloat!
16 May 2024
Unconventionally hunky leading man Hugo Stiglitz heads up the handsome cast of Cardona's conventional, yet enjoyably sexified Jaws rip-off that happily includes the vivacious strumpet Susan George! These salty seaside shenanigans vary not one briny fathom from the tried and tested trope of big angry white fish eating folk, but if I wanted variety, I woulda bought myself a family-sized box of assorted chocolates! The occasionally soggy bottomed plot is perkily remedied by a plenitude of tautly bikini-clad bots, and the love triangle of Garcia, Stiglitz & George do their very best to keep Cardona's lusty creature feature afloat! With one's critical faculties dulled by fortified libations, Tintorera remains a pleasingly saucy shark attack B-flick. Highlights include Stiglitz's manly short-shorts, Basil Poledouris's super slinky lounge-y score, Fiona Lewis's sparkling baby blues, a beach paradise locale, and the witlessly cornball-clotted text. Hey!!! A sublime sun-baked Ménage à Trois plus some grisly shark attacks, what more could a jaded 70s Creature feature freak ask for? I shall leave the final summation to rugged/smiley sex beast Miguel: 'in the meantime, let's dance!!!!' Amen, you swarthy, rabidly rutting man-biscuit!!!
Princess Madam
(1989)
intensely squib-slathered, Uzi-blasting heroic bloodshed!
16 May 2024
Infamous Cut n' paste martial arts maestro, Godfrey Ho frequently proved that he was a more than capable action director in his own right. Blessed with a resplendent cast of magisterial action mistresses, director Ho is on excellent, plentifully bullet-blasting form in the persistently high octane, Kung Fu crazy HK femme-fighter 'Princess Madam'. The fourth, fabulously fight-packed instalment is given an additionally adrenalized boost by pitting the inimitable HK Icon Moon Lee against the no less stunning, sinew strafing pugilist Michiko Nishiwaki! Fans of intensely squib-slathered, Uzi-blasting heroic bloodshed, bruisingly super-kinetic fight scenes, daredevil stunts, wanton warehouse wrecking and outrageous vehicular carnage will most definitely want to check out 'Princess Madam'. Tasked to protect Pearl, a crucial witness who is due to testify against her ex, the increasingly ruthless gang boss Lung Siu Tin. Very soon, our heroically grenade-dodging super cops find themselves in the midst of a bravura, bullet-shredded barrage of ballistic mayhem! As a more fleshly aside, there's a tantalizingly brief flash of neon-hued T & A, an especially edifying experience for those of us who are easily appeased by brief lashes of neon-hued T & A!
Moon Lee's dazzlingly quicksilver fights are spectacular!
14 May 2024
'Iron Angels III: The Return of the Iron Angels' (1989) - Teresa Woo.
The indomitable iron-fisted trio of Kung Fu fabulous crime fighters once again display their pugilistic prowess in exotic Thailand, forcefully tackling yet another bloodthirsty despot. These preternaturally agile screen heroes are uncommonly likable characters, with Moon Lee being a personal favourite. She is a devilishly cute, fiendishly gifted screen-fighter, a charismatic,incredibly versatile actor who is never less than a delight to behold! Moon Lee fans can rejoice as Iron Angels 3's thrilling opening act gives the luminous Moon plenty of room to shine as she infiltrates said terrorist cabal, assuming the covert identity of a notorious Japanese assassin! The gorgeously sun-dappled Thai locations are quite lovely, our super-athletic agents prove more than a match for the boggle-eyed villainy, and Moon Lee's dazzlingly quicksilver fights are spectacular! This is another top notch installment of the hugely entertaining HK action franchise, highlights include Alex Fong's hard-won battle with ferocious Thai Kick-boxing legend (Panna Rittikrai), and the kinetic, wildly OTT,motocross riding, jet-pack jetting, bullet-shredded climax is sublimely hectic!
The indomitable iron-fisted trio of Kung Fu fabulous crime fighters once again display their pugilistic prowess in exotic Thailand, forcefully tackling yet another bloodthirsty despot. These preternaturally agile screen heroes are uncommonly likable characters, with Moon Lee being a personal favourite. She is a devilishly cute, fiendishly gifted screen-fighter, a charismatic,incredibly versatile actor who is never less than a delight to behold! Moon Lee fans can rejoice as Iron Angels 3's thrilling opening act gives the luminous Moon plenty of room to shine as she infiltrates said terrorist cabal, assuming the covert identity of a notorious Japanese assassin! The gorgeously sun-dappled Thai locations are quite lovely, our super-athletic agents prove more than a match for the boggle-eyed villainy, and Moon Lee's dazzlingly quicksilver fights are spectacular! This is another top notch installment of the hugely entertaining HK action franchise, highlights include Alex Fong's hard-won battle with ferocious Thai Kick-boxing legend (Panna Rittikrai), and the kinetic, wildly OTT,motocross riding, jet-pack jetting, bullet-shredded climax is sublimely hectic!
Fighting Madam 2
(1988)
Moon Lee rocks!!!!!
13 May 2024
'Iron Angels 2' aka 'Fighting Madam 2'(1988) - Teresa Woo.
Heroic bloodshed, bravura stunts, and equally balletic martial artistry combine explosively in Teresa Wong's pyro-maniacal 80s HK actioner 'Iron Angels 2'. Fearlessly fighting trio Alex Fong, Elaine Lui, and Moon Lee are holidaying in exotic Kuala Lumpur when they uncover a conspiracy to violently overthrow the Malaysian government. As our heroically ass-kicking agents bravely engage the enemy there's certainly no shortage of questionable humour, wig searingly wild pyromania, ferociously fleet fight scenes, and gloriously gory bullet blasted mayhem! An audacious, non-stop adrenaline-soaked thrill-fest, 'Iron Angels 2' most spectacularly delivers the action goods! The inimitable Iron Angels must call upon their fearsome fight skills to thwart vile communist nemesis Peter and avert a brutal terrorist uprising! Teresa Woo saves the very best for last as majestic martial arts madam Moon Lee's climactic fight is a Bobby Dazzler, and the jacked-up jungle battle remains a bloodthirstily body bag stuffing bonanza of machine-gunning carnage!
Heroic bloodshed, bravura stunts, and equally balletic martial artistry combine explosively in Teresa Wong's pyro-maniacal 80s HK actioner 'Iron Angels 2'. Fearlessly fighting trio Alex Fong, Elaine Lui, and Moon Lee are holidaying in exotic Kuala Lumpur when they uncover a conspiracy to violently overthrow the Malaysian government. As our heroically ass-kicking agents bravely engage the enemy there's certainly no shortage of questionable humour, wig searingly wild pyromania, ferociously fleet fight scenes, and gloriously gory bullet blasted mayhem! An audacious, non-stop adrenaline-soaked thrill-fest, 'Iron Angels 2' most spectacularly delivers the action goods! The inimitable Iron Angels must call upon their fearsome fight skills to thwart vile communist nemesis Peter and avert a brutal terrorist uprising! Teresa Woo saves the very best for last as majestic martial arts madam Moon Lee's climactic fight is a Bobby Dazzler, and the jacked-up jungle battle remains a bloodthirstily body bag stuffing bonanza of machine-gunning carnage!
Jeongmujibo
(1979)
Brucesploitation rocks!!!!!
13 May 2024
'Kung Fu Fever' aka 'Jeongmujibo'. (1979) - Kim Si-Kyun.
'Kung Fu Fever' is arguably the apex of luridly cobbled together chop Schlocky exploitation that pirated Bruce Lee's indomitable fighting legend. Wholly disposable plot finds a colourful assortment of conniving martial art hoodlums conspiring to steal Bruce Lee's much coveted 'Finger Technique manual, and it is largely down to muscular Kung Fu dynamo Dragon Lee to prevent them! Undeniably shoddy film-making is sweetly leavened by plentiful skull-cracking action, and charismatic Karate Chopper Dragon Lee is, once again, on truly exhilarating form! Highlights include some solid Ron Van Clief beat-downs, flamboyant martial art motocross prowess, exceedingly rare usage of the deadly 'Nut Cracker' fist, an enjoyably greasy funk score and, most importantly, no shortage of sinewy skell slayer, Dragon Lee!!!
'Kung Fu Fever' is arguably the apex of luridly cobbled together chop Schlocky exploitation that pirated Bruce Lee's indomitable fighting legend. Wholly disposable plot finds a colourful assortment of conniving martial art hoodlums conspiring to steal Bruce Lee's much coveted 'Finger Technique manual, and it is largely down to muscular Kung Fu dynamo Dragon Lee to prevent them! Undeniably shoddy film-making is sweetly leavened by plentiful skull-cracking action, and charismatic Karate Chopper Dragon Lee is, once again, on truly exhilarating form! Highlights include some solid Ron Van Clief beat-downs, flamboyant martial art motocross prowess, exceedingly rare usage of the deadly 'Nut Cracker' fist, an enjoyably greasy funk score and, most importantly, no shortage of sinewy skell slayer, Dragon Lee!!!
Deathmoon
(1978 TV Movie)
70s TV Horror rocks!!!!!
12 May 2024
'Deathmoon' (1978) - Bruce Kessler.
Handsome, overworked businessman Jason Palmer(Robert Foxworth) repeatedly experiences the same disturbingly vivid nightmare. Hoping to ease his increasing anxiety, Jason takes a seemingly idyllic Hawaiian holiday, whereupon these diabolical dreams become a monstrous reality! It's pretty talky fare, but the performances are solid, Paul Chihara's score is quality, and the attractive Island location provides an appealingly exotic backdrop for Foxworth's toothsome tiki terror tactics. An amusing little goosebump-maker, these moonlit lycanthropic shenanigans kinda felt like a fun Hawaii 5-0 Halloween special, which is Dandy by me, and I really dug on the old school make up FX. The lack of gore, and Foxworth's bracingly snug speedos may put some folk off, but, if you are Werewolf/tight buns groupie like me, Bruce Kessler's 'Deathmoon' is a more than watchable Hawaiian Howler!!!
Handsome, overworked businessman Jason Palmer(Robert Foxworth) repeatedly experiences the same disturbingly vivid nightmare. Hoping to ease his increasing anxiety, Jason takes a seemingly idyllic Hawaiian holiday, whereupon these diabolical dreams become a monstrous reality! It's pretty talky fare, but the performances are solid, Paul Chihara's score is quality, and the attractive Island location provides an appealingly exotic backdrop for Foxworth's toothsome tiki terror tactics. An amusing little goosebump-maker, these moonlit lycanthropic shenanigans kinda felt like a fun Hawaii 5-0 Halloween special, which is Dandy by me, and I really dug on the old school make up FX. The lack of gore, and Foxworth's bracingly snug speedos may put some folk off, but, if you are Werewolf/tight buns groupie like me, Bruce Kessler's 'Deathmoon' is a more than watchable Hawaiian Howler!!!
Tentacles
(1977)
you could do a yacht worse than checking out Assonitis attention grabbing 'Tentacles'.
10 May 2024
This savagely human scoffing sea beast's trachea-thrashing tentacles are so terrifying, just the mere sight of 'em would sordidly shrivel a rhino's armored testicles!!!!! Hollywood veterans John Huston and Henry Fonda provide superfluous gravitas to this blissfully bonkers, barnacle blasting, scuba diver decimating, beach bunny bisecting, brine-soaked B-Movie bonanza! Should goofy seafaring schlock be your bag of soggy scampi, the wantonly carnivorous appetites of this skiff skewering, child-chomping calamari remains a mayhemic, multi-tentacled terror treat! 70s creature feature cognoscenti could do a yacht worse than checking out Assonitis attention grabbing 'Tentacles', as you're sure to have a whale of a good time! Maestro Stelvio Cipriani's stridently ear-wormy score is a legit cinematic high point, and an adorably plump Shelley Winters's shrill mumsyness was quite lovely, and strangely erotic!!!!
Halloween Night
(2006 Video)
Top-popping horror hotties rock!!!!!
9 May 2024
Halloween Night 2006 - Michael Atkins.
A notorious party prankster's plans for a memorably shocking Halloween soiree are all too successfully realised when an infamous nutjob crashes the party! Conspicuously shot-on-video, these slasher-by-numbers shenanigans are coloufully embellished by plentifully top-popping hotties, some splashy old school kills and a weirdly likable melt-faced loon! Cheap and cheerful with the onus on the latter, I really enjoyed the luridly hack-happy vibe of 'Halloween Night. This fun, low budget, perkily poon-packed chunkblower has a zesty D. I. Y approach that isn't afraid to wear its goofy love of vintage slasher films on its gaudily blood-spattered sleeve.
A notorious party prankster's plans for a memorably shocking Halloween soiree are all too successfully realised when an infamous nutjob crashes the party! Conspicuously shot-on-video, these slasher-by-numbers shenanigans are coloufully embellished by plentifully top-popping hotties, some splashy old school kills and a weirdly likable melt-faced loon! Cheap and cheerful with the onus on the latter, I really enjoyed the luridly hack-happy vibe of 'Halloween Night. This fun, low budget, perkily poon-packed chunkblower has a zesty D. I. Y approach that isn't afraid to wear its goofy love of vintage slasher films on its gaudily blood-spattered sleeve.
Outcast
(2010)
Brit-folk horror rocks!!!
7 May 2024
'Outcast' (2010) - Colm McCarthy.
A powerful, enigmatic Romany Witch (Dickey) and her secretive, increasingly strange teenage son seek refuge in an especially grim-looking council flat in Scotland. The angsty Pagan pair are persued by spell-casting gypsies, with the relentless would-be warlock (Nesbitt) bloodthirstily seeking revenge for past crimes altogether mysterious! 'Outcast' is a fascinatingly gritty affair, an inventive indie horror gem that recalls folk horror classic 'Blood on Satan's Claw'. The doomy, chav-encrusted domain of a dismal sinkhole estate darkly imparts an oppressive atmosphere, eerily matched by the equally sinister, shape-shifting savagery of this mysterious night stalking beast. I loved this intelligent pagan nightmare, but I feel embellishing the practical FX with CGI was an error, smart editing and creative lighting would have suited the mood better.
A powerful, enigmatic Romany Witch (Dickey) and her secretive, increasingly strange teenage son seek refuge in an especially grim-looking council flat in Scotland. The angsty Pagan pair are persued by spell-casting gypsies, with the relentless would-be warlock (Nesbitt) bloodthirstily seeking revenge for past crimes altogether mysterious! 'Outcast' is a fascinatingly gritty affair, an inventive indie horror gem that recalls folk horror classic 'Blood on Satan's Claw'. The doomy, chav-encrusted domain of a dismal sinkhole estate darkly imparts an oppressive atmosphere, eerily matched by the equally sinister, shape-shifting savagery of this mysterious night stalking beast. I loved this intelligent pagan nightmare, but I feel embellishing the practical FX with CGI was an error, smart editing and creative lighting would have suited the mood better.
Scream of Fear
(1961)
A fear-festooned terror treat!
4 May 2024
Hammer Films Rock!!!!!!!
'Taste of Fear (1961) - Seth Holt.
Steeped in sinister suspense, this tantalizingly twisted tale of teeth-chattering terror provides one of Hammer Films finest frightmares! Immaculate performances from a fabulously talented cast, an exotic, greatly atmospheric location, a dazzling score, this raven dark 60s shocker will keep-you-guessing until its breathtaking climax! Macabre, menacing, and fascinatingly convoluted, the diabolical mystery of monochromatic murder masterpiece 'Taste of Fear' rivals the very best of Hitchcock and Clouzot! Brilliantly directed by an assured Seth Holt, with a sublimely skewed screamplay by Jimmy Sangster, this hysteria-hyped Hammer classic remains a ferociously fear-festooned terror treat!
'Taste of Fear (1961) - Seth Holt.
Steeped in sinister suspense, this tantalizingly twisted tale of teeth-chattering terror provides one of Hammer Films finest frightmares! Immaculate performances from a fabulously talented cast, an exotic, greatly atmospheric location, a dazzling score, this raven dark 60s shocker will keep-you-guessing until its breathtaking climax! Macabre, menacing, and fascinatingly convoluted, the diabolical mystery of monochromatic murder masterpiece 'Taste of Fear' rivals the very best of Hitchcock and Clouzot! Brilliantly directed by an assured Seth Holt, with a sublimely skewed screamplay by Jimmy Sangster, this hysteria-hyped Hammer classic remains a ferociously fear-festooned terror treat!
The Card Player
(2003)
Dario Argento ROCKS!!!!!!
4 May 2024
Dario Argento rocks!!!!!!!!!
The Card Player (2003) - Dario Argento.
This tricky noughties giallo features a degenerate serial killing card player who likes to poker face with a Stanley knife!!!!! Often unfairly maligned by those clearly not operating with a full deck, Argento keeps the killer's identity close to his chest, and his two handsome, charismatic cops prove entirely sympathetic. This slick, frequently inventive Italian blood-spiller is given an additional adrenaline boost by another exciting electronic score by maestro Claudio Simonetti! Not without flaws, what's good is certainly good enough, and I've grown to appreciate the somewhat bizarre Penelope Pit Stop climax!
The Card Player (2003) - Dario Argento.
This tricky noughties giallo features a degenerate serial killing card player who likes to poker face with a Stanley knife!!!!! Often unfairly maligned by those clearly not operating with a full deck, Argento keeps the killer's identity close to his chest, and his two handsome, charismatic cops prove entirely sympathetic. This slick, frequently inventive Italian blood-spiller is given an additional adrenaline boost by another exciting electronic score by maestro Claudio Simonetti! Not without flaws, what's good is certainly good enough, and I've grown to appreciate the somewhat bizarre Penelope Pit Stop climax!
The Last House on the Beach
(1978)
Deliciously Disco-drenched 70s degeneracy!
3 May 2024
'La Settima Donna aka Last House on the Beach (1978) - Franco Prosperi.
Following a bloody bank heist, three violent thugs take shelter in a luxurious, suitably isolated beachside property. Swiftly brutalizing the young naive female occupants, it fatefully falls upon their beautiful guardian nun (Florida Bolkan) to revenge these despicable carnal abuses. Franco Prosperi's stylised, cruelly hedonistic home invasion shocker sticks out from the crowd due to its uniquely italiante twist! Well-made, compellingly acted, with bracingly mean-spirited interludes, a rousing score, plus an exhilarating climax make this an indelible psychotronic treat! Criminally underrated, little seen, 'La Settima Donna' remains one of the more vivid examples of deliciously Disco-drenched 70s degeneracy!
Following a bloody bank heist, three violent thugs take shelter in a luxurious, suitably isolated beachside property. Swiftly brutalizing the young naive female occupants, it fatefully falls upon their beautiful guardian nun (Florida Bolkan) to revenge these despicable carnal abuses. Franco Prosperi's stylised, cruelly hedonistic home invasion shocker sticks out from the crowd due to its uniquely italiante twist! Well-made, compellingly acted, with bracingly mean-spirited interludes, a rousing score, plus an exhilarating climax make this an indelible psychotronic treat! Criminally underrated, little seen, 'La Settima Donna' remains one of the more vivid examples of deliciously Disco-drenched 70s degeneracy!
Black Belly of the Tarantula
(1971)
A thrilling gialli
28 April 2024
'The Black Belly of the Tarantula' (1971) - Paolo Cavara.
An inventive Morricone score, a dazzling abundance of euro-totty, with bombshell Barbara Bouchet's brief appearence proving entirely memorable! There's a delightfully kinky killer, a singular modus operandi, and handsome Giancarlo Giannini's makes for a charismatic, unusually sensitive detective. Sexy and mysterious, the exhilaratingly kinetic rooftop chase provides additional zest to Cavara's captivating gialli. While The Black Belly of the Tarantula isn't especially gruesome, it is exceptionally well-made, replete with fine performances, and the compelling plot concludes excitingly in a pin-prickingly terse fashion!
An inventive Morricone score, a dazzling abundance of euro-totty, with bombshell Barbara Bouchet's brief appearence proving entirely memorable! There's a delightfully kinky killer, a singular modus operandi, and handsome Giancarlo Giannini's makes for a charismatic, unusually sensitive detective. Sexy and mysterious, the exhilaratingly kinetic rooftop chase provides additional zest to Cavara's captivating gialli. While The Black Belly of the Tarantula isn't especially gruesome, it is exceptionally well-made, replete with fine performances, and the compelling plot concludes excitingly in a pin-prickingly terse fashion!
Terror in Beverly Hills
(1989)
granite hard marine Hack Stone is a one-man war zone!!
25 April 2024
Hardline terrorists bloodily execute a kidnapping in glitzy Beverly Hills on able crooner Frank Stallone's watch, their first mistake! Routine 80s cheapnis B-Shoot 'em up is given additional heft by smooth due Stallone and B-legend Cameron Mitchell. Shallow, crass, and technically shoddy, its frequent bellicosity should keep hardened schlock-seekers amused! Moth-balled dialogue, bouncy, low-rent synth score, cheapo pyro, daytime soap thesping, conspicuous Pepsi product placement, and a weirdly dubbed William Smith lend Terror in Beverly Hills some additional schlock-tastic charm! Will the beleaguered president (William Smith) acquiesce to the evil terrorist's demands and release 55 of their Palestinian brothers? Watch the gloriously dopey, goof-laden Terror in Beverly Hills to find out, just don't say I didn't warn ya'!!!!! Snarkiness aside, Cameron Mitchell's hilariously hypertensive Police Chief is an expletive, bad-tempered treat! Slicker than a well-oiled whetstone, tougher than whale bone, granite hard marine Hack Stone is a one-man war zone!!
Love Stories in Sunflower Valley
(2021 TV Movie)
Cutesy coda of a soul mate for all
25 April 2024
'Love Stories from Sunflower Valley' (2021) - Rob Lieberman.
This cuddly, earnestly heart string plucking drama stars photogenic Hallmark veterans Erin Cahill and Marcus Possner. Frustrated dogsbody, and aspiring journalist returns to her beloved hometown as assistant to hunky, gentlemanly reporter to write a feature on local altruistic matchmaker. Needless to say, awkward coffee-spilling beginnings belie inexorable chemistry, and true love rapidly blooms in picturesque Sunflower Valley. A bountiful harvest of small-town hospitality, folksy mommy-knows-best schmear, dewy-eyed reminisces, and heartfelt glances over home cooking, warmed fuzzily by sun dappled sentiment! Fine performances, and a lovely location do much to ease the drama's occasional lapses into cloying, love conquers all cliche. I appreciated the pleasing lack of enforced comedy, and don't have a problem with the film's well-meaning, wholly fantastical coda of there's a soul mate for all.
This cuddly, earnestly heart string plucking drama stars photogenic Hallmark veterans Erin Cahill and Marcus Possner. Frustrated dogsbody, and aspiring journalist returns to her beloved hometown as assistant to hunky, gentlemanly reporter to write a feature on local altruistic matchmaker. Needless to say, awkward coffee-spilling beginnings belie inexorable chemistry, and true love rapidly blooms in picturesque Sunflower Valley. A bountiful harvest of small-town hospitality, folksy mommy-knows-best schmear, dewy-eyed reminisces, and heartfelt glances over home cooking, warmed fuzzily by sun dappled sentiment! Fine performances, and a lovely location do much to ease the drama's occasional lapses into cloying, love conquers all cliche. I appreciated the pleasing lack of enforced comedy, and don't have a problem with the film's well-meaning, wholly fantastical coda of there's a soul mate for all.
The Song to My Heart
(2022 TV Movie)
The Song remains the same
25 April 2024
'The song remains the same
The Song To My Heart 2022 - Paula Elle.
Tall good-looking musician with chronic writers block meets beautiful owner of Tea-centric cafe with a killer smile and prodigious lyric writing chops! Excluding the irksome 'temporary estrangement trope', the hearts of our two telegenic songbirds harmonize mellifluously to make some beautiful musical together. Often far too cutesy for its own good, the 'crisis' was embarassingly 1st world, and the maddeningly smiley, serially sandal wearing rock n roll pop needed to get his grump on. Frankly, It's all a tad 'cheesy listening', yet the leads are likable enough and any film whereby the sight of an oversized strawberry arouses paroxysms of pleasure can't be all bad!
The Song To My Heart 2022 - Paula Elle.
Tall good-looking musician with chronic writers block meets beautiful owner of Tea-centric cafe with a killer smile and prodigious lyric writing chops! Excluding the irksome 'temporary estrangement trope', the hearts of our two telegenic songbirds harmonize mellifluously to make some beautiful musical together. Often far too cutesy for its own good, the 'crisis' was embarassingly 1st world, and the maddeningly smiley, serially sandal wearing rock n roll pop needed to get his grump on. Frankly, It's all a tad 'cheesy listening', yet the leads are likable enough and any film whereby the sight of an oversized strawberry arouses paroxysms of pleasure can't be all bad!
Dracula II: Ascension
(2003 Video)
Entertaining sequel.
22 April 2024
'Dracula II Ascension' (2003) - Patrick Lussier.
The fitfully fun, plasma-soaked, frequently fang-tastic sequel to 'Dracula 2001' is a serviceable B-horror bloodspiller with a cool vampire slayer in the muscular guise of kung Fu priest Jason Scott Lee. After a zesty, Hammer-esque intro there's a bit of a lull until the Spike-like vampire is bloodily resurrected. Uneven at times, and excluding the two Jason's I found the stock characters a little dull, plus it's a great shame director Lussier didn't shoot more of the film's exteriors in picturesque Romania. Overall, even with its rougher edges, 'Dracula 2 Ascension' remains a fun, if somewhat forgettable watch for haemoglobin hungry horror hounds!
The fitfully fun, plasma-soaked, frequently fang-tastic sequel to 'Dracula 2001' is a serviceable B-horror bloodspiller with a cool vampire slayer in the muscular guise of kung Fu priest Jason Scott Lee. After a zesty, Hammer-esque intro there's a bit of a lull until the Spike-like vampire is bloodily resurrected. Uneven at times, and excluding the two Jason's I found the stock characters a little dull, plus it's a great shame director Lussier didn't shoot more of the film's exteriors in picturesque Romania. Overall, even with its rougher edges, 'Dracula 2 Ascension' remains a fun, if somewhat forgettable watch for haemoglobin hungry horror hounds!
Love on Trend
(2021 TV Movie)
Amiable Hallmark romance.
22 April 2024
Love on Trend 2021 - Nicholas Humphries.
Youthful, aspiring fashion designer Allie (Jocelyn Panton) meetcutes dashing tech guy Colin (Giles Panton) and tumultuously, her lofty career aspirations, and love palpitations coloufully intertwine as they discover they are tailor made for one other! Sadly, my terminal lack of interest in fashion remains wholly unmoved by Love on Trend, but Allie's amiable boss/chum Kendra (Amanda Wong)is a propah sweetie, and, unlike cold reality, in fuzzy Hallmarkland all of life's travails are amicably resolved in a suitably cutsey fashion. Real life married couple have a likeable screen chemistry, and their fictitious personas exude a palpable warmth.
Youthful, aspiring fashion designer Allie (Jocelyn Panton) meetcutes dashing tech guy Colin (Giles Panton) and tumultuously, her lofty career aspirations, and love palpitations coloufully intertwine as they discover they are tailor made for one other! Sadly, my terminal lack of interest in fashion remains wholly unmoved by Love on Trend, but Allie's amiable boss/chum Kendra (Amanda Wong)is a propah sweetie, and, unlike cold reality, in fuzzy Hallmarkland all of life's travails are amicably resolved in a suitably cutsey fashion. Real life married couple have a likeable screen chemistry, and their fictitious personas exude a palpable warmth.
El vampiro
(1957)
Well worth sinking your teeth into!
22 April 2024
Pretty Marta (Ariadna Welta) returns to her ancestral home, only to discover that her beloved aunt is dead, and the once grand estate is greatly dilapidated. The forbidding atmosphere is drenched in dismal doom, her other aunt appears strangely youthful, suggesting something monstrous is afoot! The blood-chilling horror escalates following the arrival of darkly mysterious Count Lavud. With engaging performances, evocative, eerily cobwebbed sets, a charming protagonist, with German Robles making for a mesmerizingly malign revenant! Compelling, immaculately staged Gothic horror, The Vampire is a scintillatingly spooky South American shocker well worth sinking your teeth into.
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