1/10
Biggest Mess of the Year -- Wow.
18 August 2006
Warning: Spoilers
POSSIBLE SPOILER - eventually I am going to give you "the message of the film" in one line. So if you haven't seen it -- and actually feel compelled to watch it -- don't read any farther.

"Wow" is the first thought that comes to mind. And it isn't a good "Wow." It's an OMG, how embarrassing, 'I can't believe he did that' -- kind of "Wow." Arie Posin creates a true classic: an incredibly pretentious MESS of a film that tries so very hard to be original, soulful and heroic...and oh, how Posin, and the entire film fails. He fails at satire. He fails at the dark comedic moments. He fails at storytelling. He fails at originality. He just plain fails at everything (with the one exception of casting.) It seems Posin just falls over himself (and the movie) trying to deliver a message we have seen at least a hundred times in the past 4-5 years.

It is such a disaster -- and the most horrifying thing is that Posin fails miserably EVEN with the likes of Glenn Close, Carrie-Anne Moss, Ralph Fiennes, John Heard and Allison Janney, some of the most gifted actors of a generation. How can you make such a mess with those talented actors?!

Do not assume I didn't "get" it. Oh, I got it. And do not assume I am too out of touch to "get" the message. How could I possibly miss the message. It is shoved down our throats, courtesy of Posin, and some help from a headless character who occasionally takes on the voice of a video game character. Drumroll please. And the uber-important message is this: We have all become disconnected and alienated from each other!

Oh my. Alert the presses. This is newsworthy, indeed. We hadn't realized this. Thank goodness for THE CHUMSCRUBBER to bring us all to our senses.

THE CHUMSCRUBBER lays blame for our alienation and our disconnection. Blame it on suburbia. Blame it on Dr. Feel Good. Blame it on video games. Blame it on divorce. Blame it on drugs. Blame it on the pressure we put on teens to succeed. Blame it on our obsession with perception and appearances. Who else can we blame? Blame the parents. Blame the bullies. Blame the self-absorbed people. Blame New Age crap. Blame everyone and everything -- because THAT is just so easy to do.

I "get" the message. I have "gotten" the message in similar films, better executed films with lesser casts: American BEAUTY, GARDEN STATE, BULLY, UNITED STATES OF LELAND, THIRTEEN, PROZAC NATION, ME YOU AND EVERYONE WE KNOW, ELEPHANT, WELCOME TO THE DOLLHOUSE, THE GOOD GIRL, heck even go all the way back to HEATHERS; I could list more but why bother? If you haven't seen those, you'll believe THE CHUMSCRUBBER is earth- shattering and groundbreaking. But then I ask: Who is really "out of touch?" At least out of touch as it pertains to entertainment and film.

Enough already. Please. We have done this newly invented genre to death. The producers and the director of THE CHUMSCRUBBER deserve a big industry TIMEOUT for this mess.

If you make a movie about alienation and disconnection from each other -- don't blame everything! If you must lay blame, pick simply one thing. (And if you disagree, rent yourself a copy of LAND OF PLENTY by a true master, Wim Wenders. Now that is a great movie, which was coincidentally, originally titled "Angst and Alienation in America." There is a beautiful, lovely film about alienation and our feelings of disconnection. And Wenders chooses to blame one thing. Just one. Even a master does not take on everything.) When will film makers learn that simple is better. Actually, simple is best.

You cannot blame everything. It's silly. It's stupid. It's childish. It's a cop-out. But most of all -- it is redundant because we have seen it all before.

CFB Casting should be the ONLY people congratulated -- for enticing such acclaimed actors to place themselves into this horrific car wreck of a film!
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