Take My Eyes (2003) User Reviews

There is no better film than this one on this topic of domestic violence.

[Nzup · 8/10 · 4 April 2005]

There are for sure many other films dealing with domestic violence, but I bet no one is better than this one.

This is something that is said to happen quite often in Spain and the movie was shot in order to sensitize people for this issue and to bring to talk about it. It is the story of an ill jealous man, full of complex of inferiority, terrorizing his wife and son.

I loved the love scene between both, where he makes her repeat that she gives all her body to him (Te doy mis ojos, te doy mi boca etc.). It shows perfectly the mental state of the husband who sees his wife as his property.

This was as well an excellent performance of Laia Marull and Luis Tosar.

A standing ovation

[khatcher-2 · 8/10 · 3 December 2003]

At the rate of more than one a week we have on our headlines a case of a woman being killed by her husband, ex-husband, partner or just simply lover, and even, very occasionally vice-versa. The fact that most of these crimes are committed in a very defined area of Spain is something which suggests the sociologists should be working flat out in an attempt to inform the politicians why this is happening - not that our elected representatives are likely to do anything to remedy the situation. Already, this year alone, 66 Spanish women have been beaten and killed by their partners in life. The other day I read that a lady judge had quashed a case of wife-battering because 'it was only an isolated case without continuity', or words to that effect. A lady judge .........! Evidently our legal and social systems need a drastic overhaul. And that means trying to inject a goodly dosis of common sense in both systems.

The Icíar Bollaín-Santiago García de Leániz tandem, forming Iguana Films, has clearly established that human contact stories are their main motivation, as in 'Flores de Otro Mundo' (qv); and in 'Te Doy Mis Ojos' they do not simply follow the line, but improve on it explosively. Somewhat akin to better known films by the British directors Ken Loach and David Lynch, basically for the sociological aspects in themselves, but clearly hallmarked as inherently Spanish in content and realisation, as is the case with Fernando León de Aranoa's 'Los Lunes al Sol' (qv), to name but one recent example of a film with a real human and sociological content, 'Te Doy Mis Ojos' competes with the best of the genre.

With this new film, the 'Iguana' tandem fall back on Luis Tosar again, and present us with Laia Marull. This actress had not come to my attention previously, as she seems to have done things for film or TV mostly confined to her native Catalonia. A welcome presence is Rosa María Sardà who has often pleased me with her interpretations in several productions. (Why she has to make silly advertisements for TV is totally beyond me). To say that Laia Marull in this film is magnificent is somewhat understating the reality: her performance is so close to absolute perfection, pure real emotions, that even the muscles in her cheeks and neck portray her feelings, as you will rarely ever see in any actress anywhere, however many Oscars they may have stacked away in their wardrobes, exhibited in gilt-framed glass cabinets, or just simply shoved in a corner behind the salt-pot in the kitchen. Laia Marull carries out a 'tour de force' which leaves you open-mouthed in admiration: her reading of the part is superb, such that the spectator is just simply left spell-bound. I thought this kind of acting was only possible in the best Russian tradition, or, if you push me, in some better British productions.

And Luis Tosar is not far behind. Without overplaying his difficult role of a husband, who is, to say the least, a bit off his rocker, and has to mistreat his wife and at the same time maintain the explicit idea that he is just about as sane as you, I, or anybody else, and thus is capable of tenderness, might seem to be asking any actor to overstretch his possibilities. If Luis Tosar was good - very good - in 'Los Lunes al Sol', here in 'Te Doy Mis Ojos' he was even better. These two, then, worked to make this film, evidencing good chemistry, but especially with the film's director, Icíar Bollaín. The result is electrifying, passionate, growling to the most abysmal depths, but reaching great heights in building upon human emotions - real emotions and feelings, not the canned ready-made ephimeral substantiations served up as if for dinner in a four-star restaurant.

The film is architecturally built on a very serious, tragic and dramatic situation; however, there are those lighter moments which can even produce a few teary-eyed guffaws. This is another point where the film scores highly: the timing is absolutely brilliant. In the kids' birthday party there is a brief, grim scene, suddenly interrupted by the appearance of an aunt holding aloft the candled birthday cake with that typically silly smiling grin of any ordinary woman present at such festivities, but with such perfect synchronisation that the audience barely staggers out of the charged tense atmosphere and into the more frivolous, before being thrown back into the grimmer parts of the story-line which pervades the film.

Because it is the stark reality of thousands of married women in Spain that is the basis of the film: badly- treated, beaten and abused, barely five per cent ever get to a police-station or to a court of law. This is the message in this hard, direct film that delves deeply into real human situations which cannot - should not - be simply left in the statistics of bureaucratic ledgers, as happens these days.

'Te Doy Mis Ojos' is a beautiful, tragic, moving real-life story; if in itself it must rank among the best seven or eight Spanish films I have ever seen - and believe me I have seen many - there is something which towers above the film itself - Laia Marull has achieved something nearing the impossible; and Icíar Bollaín has aided and abetted her to produce a final result that can only drive you at the end to give this film a standing ovation.

Domestic violence

[jotix100 · 8/10 · 22 March 2006]

Antonio, the husband of the story, is a coward. Like other men that batter their wives, he is a man that offers no redeeming qualities. Like other men in his position, Antonio vents his frustration on Pilar, a woman that has kept quiet about the abuse she receives from her husband. Antonio, as well as some of the men like him, will not change, because basically, they are too far gone to see the damage they are causing to their wives and to their families. Antonio is the kind of man who never apologizes for the damage he has done to Pilar, and their son.

As the film opens, Pilar is seen packing a few necessities, as she gets her son ready to go to Ana, her sister. Ana evidently has seen through her brother-in-law, but until this point, she has no reason to believe any foul play being done to her sister; Pilar is a mess. With Ana's help, Pilar gets a job as a substitute in a museum in Toledo. It's there, with the help of the other women that work there, that she begins to see she has a calling for becoming a museum guide. She has a passion for exploring the mysteries behind some of the paintings in the museum.

Antonio, who keeps turning up to get Pilar to go back home, begins attending a group session therapy directed at men who have his same problem. When Pilar thinks she is seeing a change in her husband, she consents in going back with Antonio. Unfortunately, she realizes the problems within her husband will never change. Like Nora, in "The Doll's House", Pilar has the guts to leave her husband, her situation and her life as a bright future awaits her when she goes to Madrid.

Iciar Bollain, the talented director of this film, shows she really understands what happens to a battered woman who is terrified to go to the authorities to report the abuse. What has started as physical beatings, turns into mental abuse as Antonio doesn't understand the harm he inflicts on his family.

Laia Marull plays Pilar with perfect restrain. Ms. Marull's Pilar is typical of a woman whose life has been derailed by a bully who can only think of the sexual aspect of the relationship and never has a meaningful conversation with her. Luis Tosar is equally up to the challenge with his Antonio, the brutish man who will hit his woman at whatever he thinks is a provocation. Candela Pena makes a valuable contribution as Ana, the sisters that dares to confront her sister, and her mother. Rosa Maria Sarda plays Aurora, the mother, who we get to believe has been an abused wife, herself.

"Take my Eyes" is a powerful drama that questions what others don't. Iciar Bollain is to be commended for bringing it to the screen.

excellent movie

[aruiviejo · 10/10 · 23 March 2005]

This is an excellent movie that understands the complexity of domestic violence. I am an advocate for survivors of domestic violence and we know that partner abuse is much more than a black eye. During the movie there is only one episode of physical violence, however we can observe throughout the movie the dynamics of power and control by the husband, through emotional, verbal, and other types of abuse. The person who wrote the previous message shows a complete lack of understanding about the impact that domestic violence has on the victim, why it is so difficult to break with cycle, the challenges that women face when they try to leave (including the fear of retaliation). Don't forget that 75% of women killed by their partners were murdered after they left the relationship. By leaving, women are taking a great risk. I think this movie is very realistic and the actors do a great job. I highly recommend it.

A cinematic milestone of rare beauty and insight in dealing with the most unsavoury of topics

[Chris_Docker · 9/10 · 22 August 2004]

Take My Eyes is about the love of one couple, their attempts to rebuild their relationship, and the struggles of each of them to deal with what comes to be seen as an illness of the husband – a tendency to violence that results in severe domestic abuse. The film is all the more powerful because the violence is never shown on screen – what we see is the fear, shame and embarrassment of the wife, Pilar, the romantic dream she still cherishes, the moments of poetic tenderness they share, the humanising attempts of the husband Antonio to overcome his violent tendencies through therapy. The one scene of love-making is amongst the tenderest, most beautiful and most realistic ever seen on film; the expression of romantic, positive emotion between them is something many couples would jump at the chance to regain. They let us see why it is hard for someone in her position to admit the man she loves is not only not perfect but a violent brute; why it is embarrassing for her when her soon-to-be-married sister brings it up. The common conception of domestic violence rests too simplistically with the physical act – it fails to encompass the emotional violence and trauma, the complexity of the situation when the woman is still deeply ‘in love' and cherishes a hope that her partner will ‘change'.

At the UK premiere of this film in the Edinburgh Internal Film Festival, Writer-Director Icíar Bollaín explained that it was her fascination with why so many women stay with abusive husbands (the average is ten years) that led her to research the subject. She found it was far more complex than expected.

What makes Take My Eyes so valuable as a cinematic milestone is that it not only is a masterpiece of modern cinema, but as a contribution to social awareness it conveys far more than any government leaflet could. Everyone at some point in their life, if not directly involved in a situation of domestic abuse, is likely to know somebody that is affected – but what can be done? Painting the scene in black and white and simply strongly telling the woman to leave is likely to evoke a very negative response – which happens to Pilar's sister – and not achieve the desired result. Through its heartbreakingly realistic and characters, the film works through various options in an enlightening way, but Take My Eyes never preaches. The fact that it is so in touch with its subject matter is, cinematically, merely icing on the cake – this is a drama that keeps you on the edge of your seat throughout, evoking a total audience commitment. Unlike most films dealing with abuse it is also most definitely not kitchen sink drama – so much so that when Antonio's temper flares ever so slightly we flinch – not just because we empathise with Pilar, for whom a sudden movement brings terrifying, paralysing echo of a possible beating, but because it seems so intrusive, so out of place in a film of such gentle wonder. But that great art can have such potential for social impact and change is something for cinema, in this case, to feel justly proud.

(Major plot spoilers follow – please read only after seeing the film to discuss analysis of the issues) That Antonio is portrayed with understanding helps us to understand the complexity of the dilemma that Pilar faces – she appreciates his genuine efforts to change, the exercises his therapist gives him. Most importantly, it helps explain for us why she not only loves him but cherishes a hope that the tender love they have felt for each other will not only return but that the violent spells will cease. Of course they don't. Asked about the ending, Icíar Bollaín explained that something that emerged from the research that went into making the film was that it is only when the woman *gives up hope* that the man will change that she can begin to rebuild her life. While a shred of hope remains, she, also, remains locked in the relationship that is destroying her. In the movie, Pilar learns that she has an ability to explain great paintings in the art gallery (where she has obtained work as a volunteer cashier) in a way that captures people's imagination - and is eventually offered a job. In a particularly humiliating scene (that leaves no physical bruises), Antonio ensures she is unable to get to the interview. He has broken the last thing within her, a new spark of well-placed faith in herself to do something nice. In that act he has broken everything inside her. She goes to the police station to report the attack but realises she has nothing that the police would be able to take seriously. She walks away – and also walks away from any hope that Antonio can change. She knows she does not love him any more and never will. She tells him, calmly – it is simply a fact – even when he threatens and seems to attempt suicide to make her stay - and is finally able to leave him permanently.

Even after seeing the film it is so easy to draw simplistic solutions to the problem of domestic abuse, but the film invites us to consider them more fully, from the full emotional perspective of the victim (which also includes seeing things from the point of view of the perpetrator). The therapy seems to be patchwork at best. The woman has to decide to leave him. Once she has given up hope that he will change, the other things in her life that seemed beyond hope often repair themselves. Of course, if the woman can see the obsessive ‘love' with associated violence early enough she can just walk at the first manifestation, before she becomes more deeply entangled emotionally. And the abusers – is there no hope for them? In one sense, perhaps we don't care – in another (inasmuch as it is good to try and help such people stop being abusive), the advice is that at the first sign of anger such a person should also walk – walk well away. It may be that a particular type of personality triggers the anger – if so, it is not a sign of love but of a person *that that person who is tempted to anger* should avoid. We can only give love in a relationship where it is possible to give and receive without overriding hurt. ‘Take My Eyes' say Pilar and Antonio to each other as a symbolic gift, pledging parts of their body to each other in moments of exquisite gentleness. ‘Take My Eyes' says Icíar Bollaín, offering us her insights into the horrific, prevalent and needing-to-be-uncovered-and-addressed problem of domestic violence – through the medium of film, through this dramatisation, see into what it is really like, take the understanding. The movie will sweep you away with its beautiful Italian backdrops, its bringing to life of the paintings of the Great Masters, but mostly it will sweep you away with its insights into the depth and complexity of the human spirit, without ever dodging the issues.

Inishgtful look on spousal abuse

[freebird-64 · 7 March 2007]

I've already seen this film twice and the subsequent viewing has not diminished much director Iciar Bollain's powerful treatment of domestic violence. In fact, I was actually reluctant to see it again because its potent portrayal of spousal abuse was too disturbing.

There are two things notable about this film that make it stand out from other films on the same subject. One is that it features almost no violence. In fact, there is only one full-blown case of abuse portrayed, and it is less about physical abuse than it is humiliation and emotional abuse.

Another is the nuanced portrayal of the abusive husband. For this, credit must go to actor Luis Tosar, who portrays Antonio. Although the film does its best to give a more balanced portrayal by showing that Antonio does go to therapy and makes some attempt to change his ways, it is Tosar's performance that brings out his human side.

It would have been easy for Tosar to have demonized Antonio, particularly since the actor already a scary appearance, what with his bushy eyebrows and deep-set eyes. But Tosar chooses to take the high road in his performance, focusing on Antonio's deep-seated insecurity and inferiority complex, which are the roots of his violence towards his wife.

His most notable scene is the last one in the film when his wife finally leaves him. As she and her friends go around the apartment packing up her things, the expression on his face is not one of anger but of incomprehension.

But equal credit should be given to Laia Marull, who portrays the wife, Pilar. Because of her performance, the filmmakers literally do not have to show much violence. The literally palpable fear she shows when Antonio is about to go into once of his rages makes that unnecessary.

The film also shows the sexual bond between Pilar and Antonio in order to explain why she continues to return to him despite his abusive behavior, through a frank sex scene that would be possible only in Europe, since American movie makers seem averse to that kind of frankness.

Te doy mis ojos is difficult to watch at times, because of the intensity of its emotional violence. But it is ultimately rewarding for the insights it gives on spousal abuse and the relationship between abusive husband and abused wife.

Frank, Classy Woman in Jeopardy Trajectory of an Abusive Relationship

[noralee · 7/10 · 22 March 2006]

"Take My Eyes (Te doy mis ojos)" is a frank, classy woman in jeopardy/Lifetime TV for Women film.

A couple of elements raise it above Hollywood's unfortunately already tired treatment of abused wives in such films as "Sleeping with the Enemy" or "Enough", among many others.

First is the superb acting by Laia Marull as "Pilar". Her transformation from frightened mouse to tentative independent to an expressive person with a back bone is riveting. She does look distractingly like Annabella Sciorra, but that means she is beautiful and very womanly.

Second is the emphasis less on the physical violence by an abuser that American films revel in (this film opens right after such an incident) than on the psychological impact, both on abuser and victim. Even amidst strife, this is a passionate couple who were very much in love, though we get hints from the beginning that he was controlling, as in the conversations that include the titular phrase. Unlike Hollywood, her final revenge is not violent but in how she uses those words back at him.

Uniquely, we see the husband (Luis Tosar as "Antonio" looking distractingly like the Irish actor James Nesbitt) as a 360 degree person, with his own family stresses, and not just as the usual evil incarnate. Though we don't see how he got into anger-management therapy sessions for abusers that in the U.S. are usually only a result of a court-order and I couldn't tell from the untranslated credits what experts were consulted for these recreations, they are a fascinating look at an attempt to change abusive behaviors. The shrink finds he has to teach these guys even how to have a conversation with their wives to prevent triggers, let alone what to do when rage starts filling their heads.

Another difference is that while the husband jealously fixates on the possibility of her finding a new lover, a sensitive new age guy character invariably appears in the Hollywood versions (and it was entertainingly non-stereotypical that the Scottish brother-in-law is held up as a prized alternative), the threat to his marriage actually comes from her relationships with the women in her life, from family to friends. Through them she becomes more attuned to humiliation as violence than even her hospital records filled with lied about fractures. It was a bit much symbolically to have her suddenly get into artistic presentations of ancient sexy myths, though it was nice that the credits identified each of the paintings discussed.

While sadly this is a familiar story in filmed outline, the film is continually suspenseful and involving as to what they will do, together and apart.

We need more movies like this.

[eugeniaandino · 10/10 · 12 October 2003]

The best I can say in favor of this film is that I came out of the cinema with terrible back pain because I had been so extremely tense while watching it. The actors are absolutely brilliant, communicating all that needs to be told, and the plot is never simplistic.

Most European social cinema seems influenced by Ken Loach's movies and this one is no exception. The way time passes slowly and characters try hard to improve their situation reminds a lot of Loach's "Sweet Sixteen", among others.

If there is any weakness to the movie is that I can't say if people who do not share the director's opinions on gender violence would appreciate this movie as much as I have.

Honest and powerful

[MartianOctocretr5 · 8/10 · 10 June 2007]

This movie takes a brutally honest approach at the tragic reality of spousal abuse. This topic has been addressed before, but this movie deals with the subject matter better than any other I can recall seeing.

An effective performance by Luis Tosar, as the abusive husband Antonio, develops the layers of emotions in this imposing and frightening character in an effort to understand why this violence is occurring. While certainly not presenting an advocate's position to defend his cruel and vicious behavior, the film also resists the temptation of exploiting the volatile outbreaks. The film shows degrading speech and physical battery to the wife, while not going overboard with bloody, gory attack just for their own sake. He attends support groups to discuss with a psychologist and other abusers the root causes of the action, and makes a sincere effort to change his ways. Gradually, the motivations for his irrational action, although becoming clearly understood, are still properly advanced as totally unacceptable.

Laia Marull, as the abused wife, is not stereotyped, either. She is shown as an intelligent and capable person, making an honest effort to confront the situation, while struggling with the conflict of somehow preserving the marriage. There are many artistic metaphors about the passion of their marriage reflecting the very problem they are dealing with. I also like the wife's museum tour presentations, where she is clearly talking not only of the paintings, but of her own aspirations. Both of the principals are splendid in their roles, especially in their interaction with one another.

Much could be written of the rich double-layered symbolism of several other scenes. Suffice it to say this is a beautifully done movie with an ending, that in all its simplicity, took me by surprise. It was the proper ending, too, I think, for reasons you will understand when you see the movie. Definitely worth viewing.

¿Qué es un hombre que miente?

[sneaker-peeker · 7/10 · 12 August 2004]

From beginning to end this movie is a sea of tension, mostly generated by Pilar's (Laia Marull) stunning fear gestures, and by Antonio's (Luis Tosar) volatile state, leaving the spectators breathing heavily in awe.

With great performances by the entire cast, a solid and incredibly realistic script, an amazing score, and shot in the beautiful town of Toledo, this production grabs you right from the start. Even when the story isn't as disturbing as 'Once Were Warriors (1994)' the characters develop a three dimensional presence to the point of being as complex as a real couple in a self-destructive relationship creating such a drama, that tends to be more psychological than physical.

And even when the conclusion does not represent a drastic overcome, it stands as an example of courage and self determination that will, in deed, prevail in the mind of the viewer, and even more in those who find themselves in the same situation as the protagonist. Kudos to Miss Bollain, this is a good movie, be sure not to miss it.

A Movie to Keep You Numb Throughout its Playing Time

[metalrules31 · 8/10 · 29 June 2008]

One of the first negative responses the critics give about the Academy Award is how there is only one award for the rest of the world, that is, Best Foreign Film.

I do like Hollywood films and in fact, about 80% of the movies I watch are Hollywood movies. But this time I am going to write about a Spanish film originally entitled "Te Doy Hasta Mis Ojos", which translates into "Take my Eyes".

The movie is directed by Iciar Bollaín and stars Luis Tosar as Alfonso and Laia Marull as Pilar.

The movie's beginning might as well be a suitable ending with, a determined Pilar and her son running away from home to refugee at Pilar's sister, Ana's house.

The reason and main theme of the movie are soon revealed, Pilar is beaten by her psychotic husband, Alfonso. We then start understanding the difficult, but yet common, couple relationship they live through.

Pilar and Alfonso both love and need each other, which is the main reason why Pilar returns with him. Unfortunately, there are other factors affecting Alfonso, whom even though is attending an anger management program, has several outbursts of anger.

Being the black sheep of his siblings, being at a work he dislikes, and not liking Pilar's new job, which is making him insecure of her faithfulness. The truth is Pilar is only enthusiastic about doing something she likes, her husband misunderstand this leading to the mental disturbing final act.

If I had to briefly describe this movie, I will probably say "Cruelly Real". An uncomfortable feeling is always present. Making you willing to just stop the movie, but at the same time, gluing you to your seat until its ending.

The characters are really well portrayed and even though you feel no sympathy at all for Alfonso, you still try to comprehend the reasons behind his behavior.

I will like to advice it is a really heavy movie but it is surely recommendable, since this is a problem found in societies all around the world, and this movie portrays what a family under this conditions has to live through.

Predictable Rehash

[kenjha · 6/10 · 26 December 2012]

A woman is caught in a violent relationship with her husband. While it's not a bad film, it is nothing more than a rehash of what is well documented about abusive relationships. The plot and characters are quite predictable, making for less than compelling viewing. Although she's not given much to work with, Marull is mostly effective as the victim. However, little insight is provided as to why she behaves the way she does. Another problem is the one-dimensional portrayal of the husband. From the beginning he is presented as a monster without a single redeeming quality. He is so purely evil that it is hard to believe that he would even go to therapy to try to get help.

overrated

[alexgs1 · 4/10 · 19 February 2005]

This movie was highly recommended to me by a friend but I was actually disappointed after watching it. The plot is not original - woman married to a violent man - and the acting, which has been so highlighted here in IMDb, is nothing special. The main actress overacts since the very first scene, walking with her son at the streets during the night. I also did not feel any sympathy for her because, even being constantly beat by a violent husband, she insisted in going back to him. How on Earth would someone go back to such man? The ending is also meaningless (I said to myself, "'s it over??!"). Te Doy mis Ojos could be easily compared to an ordinary TV movie. Pity

A poignant study of a devastatingly heartbreaking aspect of love and marriage by Spanish w-d Iciar Bollaín

[ruby_fff · 9/10 · 27 May 2006]

Writer-director Iciar Bollaín's film, TAKE MY EYES (Spain 2003) is full of boldness and nuance, approaching 'full frontal' (almost a pun here) the delicate 'taboo' subject on spouse abuse in love and marriage. The exceptionally talented and selfless portrayal of the couple by Laia Marull as Pilar (the young wife/mother) and Luis Tosa as Antonio (the husband/abuser) made their scenes together - both the tender moments and violent events, convincing and complete. It's heartbreaking to see these two people who could be so in love (felt through the intimate lovemaking scenes, the calm moments they enjoy each other by the river) yet juxtaposed by the traumatic turn of events (seen through the 'explosive' frightful situations). Bollaín, with Marull and Tosa, did not shy away from the volatile subject and key scenes - it is no doubt devastating to behold yet the impact of the situation is truly felt and may also leave us shaking. Kudos to such giving and fearless performances and production decisions.

The Toledo, Spain, locales (especially by the river and bridge) seen in the film are as beautiful as I visited in Fall 2003. I remember the museum where Antonio waited outside for Pilar. He tried. He wanted to be a loving husband to her, but he couldn't help himself. It almost seem like uncontrollable 'alcoholic dependency', his jealous rage generated from fear of losing Pilar, whom he believes he loves in his own possessive ways. While Pilar also tries. She practically loses herself in trying to please Antonio and be 'blinded' by his waves of tenderness towards her. She's struggling to be a good wife and responsible mother to their little boy. She's also trying to find herself through the process.

I recall the wisdom from poet Kahlil Gibran's book "The Prophet" on Marriage: yes, you shall be together forever more, but there should be spaces in your togetherness. "Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts." And on Love, that it does not possesses, Gibran said: "And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course."

TAKE MY EYES gives us a rare chance to observe closely the various aspects/perspectives of a domestic violence situation, and offering viable option on the part of the woman. It may not be an easy film to watch due to frank emotional depiction, but it is superbly delivered by a fantastic cast besides Marull and Tosa. The script, co-written by Bollaín and Alicia Luna, contains supporting storyline (including a wedding and Scottish bagpipes and kilts - cultural diversity, girl talk, men talk, laughs and heartaches). Production is excellent in every respect: cinematography, editing, art direction, music score, sound and all. Highly recommend this film, with no hesitation.

An excellent movie to see

[soniagoenaga25 · 10/10 · 17 October 2003]

I have recently seen 'Take my eyes' its Spanish title is 'Te doy mis ojos'. It is really a brilliant film, from the beginning to the end of it the whole story attracts the audience attention, mainly because it is a real theme, unfortunately very real for lots of women who suffer pains and bad treatments from their husbands. It should have won the main award in the San Sebastian film festival for the best film, but unfortunately it did not win it. On the other hands, the roles of Laia... and Luis Tosar are wonderful. They won their prizes for their excellent acting. Everybody should see this film, specially men, in order to know how to prevent attacks against women

Human drama

[pifas · 7/10 · 8 July 2009]

With a straight story, director Bollaín let us see what's behind closed doors in jealous, but she does it in great objective form (but not slight) that pulls us in a sick relationship between torturer and victim, doing it with great direction, camera work, plot and character study. The film goes deep, Bollaín is playing with fire but she doesn't get burned because she knows what she's doing and gives a portrait of violence without being explicit, and without pointing her finger give exposure to a common problem between couples. Te doy mis ojos (I give you my eyes) is a brilliant piece of drama, heartful but not manipulative, well structured and charged with emotions, enhanced by Marull and Tosar, whose along with Bollaín, are simply wonderful.

Spousal Abuse: A Horrifyingly Real Story of the Consequences

[gradyharp · 10/10 · 12 March 2007]

TE DOY MIS OJOS (Take My Eyes) is a blisteringly real examination of spousal abuse - the etiology, the mechanisms, the concept of co-dependency, and the high rate of recidivism - all bound together in a brilliant screenplay by Alicia Luna and director Icíar Bollaín. It won many Goyas (read Oscars) in Spain and for good reason: this is a powerful film about an indelicate subject from a country (Spain) not usually comfortable discussing much less film such issues.

Pilar (Laia Marull) and her son Juan (Nicolás Fernández Luna) live in a small apartment with husband/father Antonio (Luis Tosar), a small section of hell where daily Antonio abuses Pilar with an uncontrollable anger. Pilar and Juan leave one night to live with Pilar's soon to be married sister Ana (Candela Peña) and fiancé, a Scotsman John (David Mooney). Ana encourages Pilar to divorce the abusive Antonio but Pilar is frightened, fearing she has no means of support and admitting that there are parts of Antonio she still loves. Complicating Pilar's thinking is her mother Aurora (the fine Rosa Maria Sardà) who tries to underplay the problem by insisting that all marriages have their little problems! Antonio stalks Pilar, pleading for her to return, but every encounter results in a flair-up of Antonio's abusive behavior. Pilar finds a menial job at the museum in Toledo, a position she loves and soon is training to become a guide, loving speaking tot he public about art. Antonio agrees to seek help for his behavioral problems and enters group therapy and private therapy (Sergi Calleja) and begins bringing flowers and gifts and constant attention to Ana, hoping to have her return home. And return Ana does, with Juan, and with some newfound sense of self worth form her position at the museum. But as soon as Ana is 'home' a horrifying incident occurs and she gathers the strength to see the relationship clearly and respond correctly.

The cast of actors is brilliant, the pacing of the film keeps the viewer on seat's edge, the cinematography by Carles Gusi captures the magic of Toledo, Spain, the musical score by Alberto Iglesias is first rate classical writing, and the amount of information about a little understood problem is an additional reward that accompanies this superb film. The film is in Spanish with English subtitles and the DVD adds a featurette that further examines a treatment center for abusive men feels like a much needed public service ploy. This is one of those films that would be easy to ignore because of the subject matter, but that is a real reason to view it - in addition to the fact that it is such a fine work of art. Grady Harp

Marriage never looked so scary.

[andrejakc-1 · 8/10 · 25 June 2011]

Pilar is a disturbed wife who loves and cares about her husband Antonio, but can't take it no more. One night she takes her son Juan and just the most necessary things and leaves the flat. This entire prologue introduction is done in an almost horror-set up sequences where we the viewers do realize that in this marriage something is seriously wrong.

As the husband comes back home from his boring and monotonous job his temper takes over, and here we discover how fearful he is.She knows that deep inside she is still his sunshine, love, and above all she did "gave him" her eyes. Silently violent this tale of domestic violence swept clean Spanish national Goya awards and earned more than 20 festival prizes all over the world in 2003. Luis Tosar in the lead actor role is absolutely mesmerizing and stomach-twisting tense, while Laia Marull as a fragile housewife is portrayed to the perfection. This brave movie which raises a range of issues especially from a female perspective of how to survive a violent, broken, non functional unity must be seen by as many viewers as possible. Iciar Bollain is a director worth following. Marriage never looked so scary.

Compelling, Disturbing, All too Real

[iccleone · 10/10 · 5 December 2006]

For me this film captured all too accurately why partners of domestic abuse stay and find it so hard to break free. It takes you through the very emotions and feelings which make domestic violence so complex.

Through the interaction between Pilar and her husband, Antonio, the film shows us how slowly but surely her confidence has been eroded until she has become emotionally dependent on someone who is destroying her. Not just the bouts of violence, but the everyday conversation where he belittles her at every turn. While the scenes of violence themselves are shocking, so too is the way Antonio chips away at her confidence in an attempt to bolster his own. The scene where she gives herself to him (I give you my eyes) is heartbreaking, it demonstrates his need to possess her, but also her need at that moment to be possessed and give herself to him again, even though she is terrified of him.

The film is not black and white. It does not paint the violent husband as a monster without reason, but gives us an insight as to his motivations. Antonio's lack of self-worth when he compares himself to his brother, his admission that he has no dreams of his own. The only power he feels he can have is over his wife, and he is caught between needing that power and yet understanding that he is destroying those he holds dear. In the end he cannot change and perhaps the reason he finally lets her go is because he recognises this for himself.

The plot and writing are strong, without 'preaching' to the audience, and the acting is excellent. The looks on Pilar's face reflects exactly what it feels like to feel the fear of what is coming next in an abusive argument. I have seen his film twice now, and I found it just as raw and compelling the second time.

Finally a spousal abuse tale where we see & can understand both sides.

[jaybob · 10/10 · 3 February 2009]

There have been many movies about spousal abuse, most time the woman is completely virtuous & the hubby a complete vicious louse.

We all know that is not the usual case. In this Multi award winning film, we have a couple, middle class,who have a troubled marriage, They do love each other, BUT he also hits wife.

Now what makes this tale different, we are involved with many group therapy sessions,where we can understand some of the causes.

We see scenes with the families of both Husband & wife,both spouses are put down by the families (NOT nastily of mean), then when our couple are home or even on the way home,this tension erupts further.

In most films we see only one side of the coin here we see both & that is what makes this movie exceptional./

It only had a very short run in 2 theatres in the USA & to me that is a crime.

The film is not all grim there is a fair amount of humour. Acting & production values superb.

The DVD has an excellent 2 reel short as well.

Ratings **** (out of 4) 98 points (out of 100) IMDb 10 (out of 10)

Blinded by Co-dependency

[nycritic · 10/10 · 25 November 2006]

Most movies that tell stories about spousal abuse prefer to go the thriller route: woman in danger, leaving her violent husband to search for a new life, finding that life under a new identity, and the predictable element that he comes back to find her and will not stop until she is firmly planted within the cage that she's just escaped. Such is the opening scene of THE DOY MIS OJOS (TAKE MY EYES) that presents an act of desperation: a young woman, Pilar, coming home to in a moments epiphany wake her sleeping son, grab what she can, run out into the night not sure where she is going at first, and winding up at her sister Ana's house. In an unforgettable exchange, Ana asks her, "What's the matter?" Breaking down in a mess of tears, Pilar babbles: "I just realized I'm in my slippers!"

Thus, begins the movie proper. All seems to be heading towards Pilar beginning a new life without Antonio -- and it's about time. Ana heads to Pilar's apartment to see it's been practically ripped to shreds. Antonio finally makes his appearance, and indicates he's not going to go away so easily. This proves to be true, since he insinuates himself into Pilar's life outside of Ana's house and tells her he will change. However, Pilar decides not to come back... and here is when the real Antonio emerges, a mass of sound and fury. Ana tries to help Pilar out but Pilar seems to be harboring feelings for Antonio, and an ugly exchange between the sisters has Ana disclosing in front of their mother the real reason of Pilar's wounds.

It seems Pilar will find success in picking up the pieces of her life. She's found work in a museum. It's possible she will even find a place to live; she certainly has the support of Ana. However, this isn't the typical wife-on-the-run drama: female director Icíar Bolláin has gone the other way around, bringing unto light an ugly reality that she first explored in AMORES QUE MATAN, but taking it a step further. There are women so blinded by their co-dependency that they would rather stay in the hellish security of their home because they believe -- or want to believe -- that the abuse will stop, that the husband will change, that all will be as before when they were in love. Such is the case with Pilar, who is allowing Antonio to worm his way ever so closer into her life by accepting gifts where he lets her know he's going into therapy to cure his problem.

At this point, the movie's sympathy -- if it can be called that -- subtly and uncomfortably shifts to Antonio as his own pathology gets explored. His sessions at a place where abusive husbands talk about why they hit their wives yields a sense of horror within himself: he can't believe the type of stories he is privy to, but he's as ugly as they are. At the same time, Pilar begins to evolve as a person, even when she makes the ultimate bad decision and moves back with Antonio, much to Ana's horror. On her own and estranged from Ana, Pilar begins an exploration of her own self through art. The paintings Bolláin has chosen all depict women in a state of peril as a menacing male looms near. Antonio can't relate to art in any way, and a promotion she receives is the crux that unleashes his rage in an uncontrollable flood.

That a woman could delve into the female psyche and its dependency on criminally abusive males is remarkable. Even a quiet scene in which Antonio and Pilar engage in a "give and take" erotic exchange that culminates in Pilar telling Antonio to "take her eyes" is fraught with a sense of believable masochism: it's as if under the character of Pilar, Bolláin were representing all women who have let a dominating male take control and render their will nil. She only gives one hint that could define as to why Pilar is so willing to be burned by Antonio, and when she arrives there, she is horrified... and so are we. Because abuse happens in cycles of repetition and moves from generation to generation.

TAKE MY EYES is a powerful film that further denounces what AMORES QUE MATAN exposed. It won multiple Goyas in 2004 and justifiably so; films that tackle this ugly part of society in a realistic way should be seen. Both Luis Tosar and Laia Marull are fantastic in bringing forth a marriage that plays a dangerous game of sadomasochism. As a side note, it seems that this is an Almodovar reunion of sorts -- Kiti Manver, Rosa Maria Sardá, and Candela Peña all have strong, supporting parts. Only that the (deadpan serious) desperation of one woman creates a sisterhood in others who are willing to intervene.

Take My Eyes (2003)

[SnakesOnAnAfricanPlain · 10/10 · 13 December 2011]

A fantastic drama that shows the difficulties and pure cruelty of domestic violence, without ever becoming outlandish. Marull plays a woman that flees, with her son, from her marriage. The film is very clever in showing this act first. It leaves us as fascinated voyeurs and doesn't force us into feeling to much animosity towards the husband. This is key in allowing the film to explore its themes. Later we hear about visits to the hospital, but we don't see this happen. In fact, we see the husband trying to seek help before we see him do anything cruel. I loved this clever touch, as our view of him wasn't tainted. This is probably how many family members saw him. Hearing about his exploits, but is there a chance the wife is exaggerating? As the film progresses, we see the husband as a tragic character. Tosar adds an infinite amount of layers, but we finally see his anger as an uncontrollable destructive force. He sees himself as the victim and his wife as the enemy. In his mind, he is being assaulted. As the film draws towards its climax, there is a sense that they could work it all out, and from that comes hope. The films greatest achievement is not being about the victims. It isn't sappy, preachy, or unbearable. It would have been easy to show Tosar beating Marull, but the film's climax is even more disturbing, due to all the misplaced anger. A great movie.

Fear itself

[tonifg · 9/10 · 27 February 2004]

What more can I add to Keith's briliant comment to this film?

I totally agree Laia Marull and Luis Tosar are, by far, the brightest stars in the movie, which is a complete 5-star for me, not forgetting Iciar Bollaín's excellent directing work. My personal feelings when watching the movie? Fear itself. Every time he looks at her, every time he approaches her... I could feel the same (or very close) fear a woman may be feeling when she can clearly see her husband is about to explode in anger again. Do not miss this one... the movie makes you think on this whole issue. I do not know how it is in other countries but in Spain this has become a real social problem: war kills and this is having war at home. 'Te doy mi ojos' is real life.

I thought he was going to kill her...

[pv61 · 9/10 · 13 December 2008]

Now I understand my mother, who around 20 years ago suffered, and so did I, domestic violence ( her husband hit me in the nose with no reason, he just came from outside and she was not home, she was at church with my little brother ). I left the house that same night.

Watching this movie, I was at the brink of crying every time I saw Antonio near Pilar. I thought he was going to kill her at any moment. How could she go back to him after having left in the first place? I saw "Rosa the Portuguese" and despite treating the domestic violence issue very crudely too, this movie really put me there, and I hate to see in the news everyday how many women get kill by her own husbands while fighting... This is something that shouldn't be happening anymore...

I think this film will be the great winner of the next night of the Goya's ceremony

[jsinger90 · 10/10 · 22 January 2004]

I think this film will be the great winner of the next night of the Goya's ceremony, because It is a very good film.

I like very much the role of Pilar and Antonio. I think Laia Marull come out a big actor. Luis tosar I knew in `Dias al Sol', and He is a great actor too.

Two years ago, I saw `Flores de otro mundo', and I liked but, with his last film Iciar Bollaín to improve herself I think.

I like very much how Iciar to deal of this complicate theme, It isn't to much tense, and She include Rosa Maria Sarda that contribute to apply the comic touches.

The end of the film is a `hollywood ending', a happy ending. There are too much unfortunate ending in the real life about this theme.