dr.gonzo-4 Reviews

Mind Benders (1987)

Bad meaning bad, not bad meaning good

[1/10 · 20 September 2013]

So I found a VHS copy of this amongst a stockpile of B-movie horror and the only reason I bought it was because of the cover art and the fact that no one on IMDb had previously reviewed it. After watching it I realized why, it's painfully bad. And I don't mean bad in a fun, laughable Troma sort of way. The worst part of it is that nothing happens for the first half of the movie, its pretty much just a lame high school teen flick. No blood and guts, no T and A, just lame teens doing lame stuff like having food fights and hitting on chicks at the mall. The only noteworthy part of the movie is that Lee Tergeson, star of TV shows like Oz and Weird Science, makes his acting debut. Other than that its a complete waste of time.

John's Rare VHS Reviews 9/20/13

Bomb the System (2002)

Visually stunning, yet unclear on the message...

[7/10 · 6 December 2005]

I've always been a big fan of cult films that expose some sort of cool and/or intriguing sub-culture whether it's rhyme battling in 8 MILE, heroin addiction in TRAINSPOTTING, or even fraudulent stock trading in BOILER ROOM. These films are great because they present the subject without promoting it or criticizing it which draws you into the world and allows you to make your own judgments.

BOMB THE SYSTEM definitely falls into that category and for the first half, had the makings of a cult classic. It thrusts you into the dangerous world of the graffiti artist and makes no apologies for how they go about doing it(by the way, I'm amazed it took this long to make a movie about graffiti). The film centers around Anthony, AKA "Blest", who is part of a "bombing" crew that is constantly hunted by the local Police Vandalism Unit. If you are a fan of hip hop culture, then you are sure to buy into the whole bravura of the renegade street-artist(I am and I did). You buy into it because you feel as though they are carrying on this long legacy of artistic expression.

But then, in the second half, things get a little confusing. First he meets this girl who is part of a political-stencil-message-spraying group that are trying to say that a bumper sticker message like "Don't Eat Meat" is better than artistic graffiti? And then to top it all off, he turns his back on his friends and says that graffiti is stupid? I don't know if I just missed the point of the second half, but it definitely left me scratching my head.

But besides that, the film has some great experimental editing and cinematography that enhanced the overall atmosphere and experience. The acting is great by a cast of unknowns or littleknowns, especially Gano Grills who played "Buk 50." Films like these really bother me because they have such potential for greatness, but then take a left turn somewhere instead of staying on the right track. But then again, it did have a scene in an underground club that was playing Madvillain "Money Folder" so...

High Tension (2003)

Finally a Horror Movie with some balls...

[9/10 · 14 June 2005]

I had anticipated seeing Haute Tension ever since I first heard about it in Fangoria magazine, there's just something about a woman wielding a huge stihl saw that catches my interest. Let me just say that I was definitely impressed with what I saw. It called to mind the glory days of ultraviolent horror flicks thanks to people like Tobe Hooper, Dario Argento and dare I say Lucio Fulci. The gore effects were top notch, very old school and no CGI enhancements (thank God). They should really use this film as an example to all the studios on how to make a good horror movie. With all these terrible American horror movies being released that fail to deliver the goods again and again, it takes a foreign sensibility to show us how it should be done.

Now I know a lot of people had a problem with that 180 plot twist at the end, but you have to give them credit for at least trying something different. And how many times have we seen twists in American Horror movies that are way more absurd? My theory is this, they originally omitted the twist but when they realized people would be fleeing the French Countryside after seeing this, they decided to throw it in. Can you blame them? This is what we need to get back to - simple stories with a little twist at the end. In America we get so wrapped up in making the story complicated that we forget about the basics - atmosphere, music, a central villain, and above all suspense.

This movie is definitely in the vein of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre with tons of references and even a similar look to the cinematography. I'm not sure if this film is an homage, or if it's just that we haven't seen something as good as this in quite some time. Either way, if you miss old school horror flicks as much as I do and have a strong stomach for gruesome violence, you are sure to enjoy it. And don't worry about the twist at the end, I'm sure if anything it was just poking fun at how ridiculous the American Horror twists can be.

Septem8er Tapes (2004)

Apocalypse Right Now

[8/10 · 11 March 2005]

September Tapes is a brilliant little piece of manipulation that profoundly blurs the line between reality and fantasy. The technique used here, passing something off as "documentary footage" when it really isn't, is definitely not something new but it is tremendously effective in its purpose. If you've ever seen films like 84 Charlie MoPic - a cameraman follows around a platoon in Vietnam - or Man Bites Dog - a French film about a camera crew who follows around a serial killer - or The Blair Witch Project - do I really need to explain what it's about? - or Gang Tapes - a stolen camera documents gang warfare in the inner city. All these films along with September Tapes utilize our voyeuristic side in that we know it's not real but we watch it like it's a car wreck on the side of the road.

September Tapes takes something that was in all of us Americans right after 9/11, the desire to find Bin Laden and kill him, and thrusts it into the screen. There were times in the film when I honestly couldn't decide whether it was exploitative or not. The film carries out much like that of Heart of Darkness/Apocalypse Now with Bin Laden of course being Kurtz. The only difference being that here, Marlow never finds Kurtz.

All in all I must say they did a great job of establishing the false sense of reality through terrific performances and almost too real locations and events. There is considerable violence, although nothing too graphic. It's not a great film by any means, but it's one intense experience thats easily ten times scarier than Blair Witch.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

Giving your first love a second chance...

[10/10 · 11 February 2005]

The latest film from the mind of Charlie Kaufman is filled with experimental techniques and delivers a universal message about first love. Now I loved Being John Malkovich because it was so different and endlessly interesting, yet I hated Adaptation because it practically put me in a coma. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, the title taken from an Alexander Pope line and recited by a stoned Kirsten Dunst in the film. Michel Gondry has directed such a surreal and dreamlike journey through the mind and memories. I'm not even going to bother summarizing the plot because it is quite complicated and you just have to see it for yourself. What I will say is that Jim Carrey has once again amazed us with his acting abilities and has shown us a quieter, lonelier side to him. Kate Winslet was the perfect actress for this part, the two of them have created one of the most realistic relationships I've seen on film in a long time. The film demonstrates how as much as we want to forget a troubled relationship, the good memories, no matter how few and far between, are what really shines above the rest. In the end the film poses the question, "What if we were given the chance to start all over again with our first love, knowing how it ended and why it ended, would we do it?" And instead of leaving the answer up to us, Kaufman brilliantly comes right out and says, "Yes we would!" He says we would because a chance to relive all those good memories is worth it. This film hit pretty close to home with me because I experienced a first love somewhat similar to theirs and I'm sure that I am not alone on that. It's a wonderful film that reminds us just how special our first love really is.

Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004)

Thank God for Michael Moore

[29 June 2004]

Before I begin let me say that I am a big Michael Moore fan, ever since the days of The Awful Truth. But not in any nutso, radical activist kind of way. I love my country. I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. But I, like Michael and many others, can't just bow our heads and be good little robots of society. We seek change. Not in a bad, violent revolutionary way, but done democratically through the people. Through all the criticism and backlash this film has recieved, one simple idea was grossly overlooked. What Moore put in his film is exactly the kind of stuff we SHOULD HAVE SEEN on the evening news. All the haters out there are accusing his film of being overly one-sided, well guess what folks, in case you didn't notice those precious television news reports we sit through every night while we munch away at our dinners is INSANELY one-sided and biased in every way, shape and form.

With that said, FAHRENHEIT 9/11 is the most important film in the history of cinema. There has never been a film, documentary or not, that has directly attacked our active President. Michael Moore is not some cook radical spewing unsubstantiated accusations through a Hitler-esque propaganda film (as its been called). If Moore's agenda had simply been to "dethrone Bush at all costs", then he could have left out a good fifty percent of the film and focused primarily on the man everyone is convinced he loves to hate. He is very simply offering us a "second opinion" if you will, on all the news media that has bombarded us since September 11th. He is simply exercising his freedom of speech to the tenth degree and THAT is what I love about this country. If this film was made in any other country about their leader, they would be jailed, beaten, and maybe even killed.

And he has tapped into a very important thing about our society. That MOVIES have power. And guess what, lower and middle-class people go to the movies the most. People who don't normally vote go to the movies. People who have no idea who Michael Moore is will go see this movie. And the YOUTH will go see this movie, and they'll bring lots and lots of friends. You remember the youth of our country right? The apathetic, non-political group of 18 to 20 year-olds that were always ignored by politicians? Not that this film has turned them all into a bunch of Bush-haters, but it HAS gotten them involved. What no person or institution has been able to do for the longest time has been accomplished by one little documentary.

As I sat there in the movie theater, with the end credits coming on screen and the house lights shining brightly down. I saw something that I have never seen in my life. I looked around the packed theater (on a Monday night) and witnessed all different kinds of people, old and young, Black and White, applauding and cheering out of their seats. The hair stood up on the back of my head and a tear came to my eye. I was totally blown away by what I was seeing. As I made my way for the exit, I softly whispered to myself, "Now that is what I call CINEMA".

Please, you owe it to yourself to see this movie with an open-mind and a thirst for not the truth, but a "second opinion". It is guaranteed to make you laugh and cry, it will shock and anger you, and you will DEFINITELY never forget it.

Fahrenheit 451 was a book about a society that burned books in order to censor them from the people. Fahrenheit 9/11 is a film about a society that refuses to show certain newsworthy material in order to censor it from the people and instead substitutes its own, self-promoting news in order to manipulate the people. You be the judge.

The Transporter (2002)

Jason Staham finally makes his mark...

[25 April 2003]

Looking like a Brit version of Bruce Willis, Jason Statham made his debut back in Guy Ritchie's classic crime caper/comedy "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels." Since then he has been given a few side roles here and there in "Snatch" (or Lock, Stock 2 as I like to call it), John Carpenter's "Ghosts of Mars", and then he teamed up with Delroy Lindo to track two Jet Li's in "The One." But who would've guessed that he finally got his own film, and a kick ass action film at that. Ever since Corey Yuen and Luc Besson collaborated on "Kiss of the Dragon," I knew that any film they did together from then on would be golden. And "The Transporter" definitely lives up to that standard. Sure there's nothing new here: how many times is a bad guy gonna get a change of conscience over a hot chick, right? And unlike the others, there is actually some good chemistry going on between our hero and his damsel in distress.

Basically, the film combines some great European atmosphere (The beautiful southern coast of France) with some incredible fight and action sequences. Corey Yuen could pretty much create a fight scenario out of virtually any environment. Now I know you could easily replace Staham with Jet Li, but you know what? He really proves that he can hang with the big boys in this film. I mean, he did ALL HIS OWN STUNTS. How awesome is that? Not even our great American action actors like Sylvestor and Arnold can say that. My only criticsim of the film is that I think they should of beefed it up a little bit and went for the R rating. Other than that I think it's a great little action/martial arts movie with a European flavor. It will definitely make you reminisce over the days when Van Damme and Seagal used to make great Action fliks. I can't wait to see what Turkish has in store for us next. Ladies and Gentlemen, a new action star has been born.

Versus (II) (2000)

Night of the Living Dead meets Hard Boiled

[5 February 2003]

Ryuhei Kitamura's debut film explodes on the screen with a ferocity not seen since John Woo's glory days or George A. Romero's wet dreams. Versus is a film that is sure to achieve legendary cult status if it hasn't done so already. It combines the best elements of splatter-punk horror, Hong Kong style gunplay, Matrix-style martial arts, and finally 70's style samurai swordplay. Wow, how rare is that?!

Kenji Matsuda literally steals the show during the first half, for his wacky performance that comes off like Chow Yun Fat on speed. The main character (sorry forgot his name) was also great as a sort of Clint Eastwood style anti-hero. If you have a weak stomach or if you are turned off by exquisite action choreography, then this film is not for you. But if you want a film that will literally blow your brains out of the back of your head, then definitely get your hands on a copy. It is definitely one of a kind.

Narc (2002)

Excellent stuff Joey!

[20 January 2003]

One of the best days of my life was that time when I found a VHS copy of Blood, Guts, Bullets & Octane jammed in the blades of a wood chipper. The case was severely damaged but I managed to save the reels and transfer them (I perform VHS Autopsies all the time)into a more suitable plastic shell that happened to belong to The Usual Suspects. I was a little nervous at first, but one of the reviews on the cover of Blood, Guts reassured me that this was a wise decision. Anyway, I'm gettin a little off the subject here, but that was when I first got a taste of what a culinary genius was cookin...

I needed to see Narc as badly as Ruiz needed that fix and let me tell you I sure as hell was impressed. I walked out of that theatre like I had just seen Jesus doing jumping jacks. Narc was as intense as Bruce Banner busting a nut. It transcends its genre by being innovative, bold, and full of surprises. If Narc is really as "old school" as they are saying, then today's crime genre is still in fkcuing day care. Narc made Training Day look like Police Academy...

Excellent choice going with Jason Patric, even though he did bleed to death in Rush. However Ray Liotta makes a much better partner than Jennifer Jason Leigh and just as good in the sack. I was shocked that all we got to see of Joey in this film was his voice on the other end of a cell phone. COME ON! In Blood, Guts we got the performance of a lifetime and all we get here is a fkcuing Nokia commercial?! He probably figured that audiences just weren't ready for his new look which he obviously modeled after Matthew McConaughey in Reign Of Fire...

It's really bizarre but I actually used the pool ball in a sock and the tape recorder in similar ways in my own films way before I even heard of Narc. That happens to me all the time in films. Its all about being first. And Joe Carnahan is the first great director of the new millenium. Maybe if he isn't too busy polishing elbows with Ethan Hunt, he would give a guy like me a shot, I could have one of his next films sitting right here next to me...

Keep up the good work Joey, you're a great inspiration.

Deuces Wild (2002)

A film with a lot of potential, but...

[4 September 2002]

I had wanted to see DEUCES WILD when it was out at the theatres, because who wouldn't want to see a film about rival gangs in 1950's Brooklyn? But I had to wait for it to come out on DVD and VHS. After viewing it, I was kind of left with mixed emotions. On one hand you've got Stephen Dorff giving an awesome and intense performance looking like a young Bruce Willis (DIE HARD not "Moonlighting"). And you've got an equally impressive role from Brad Renfro, who has come along way since his last role as a New Yorker in SLEEPERS. On top of that you won't be able to take your eyes off Drea de Matteo, who looks even hotter than she does in "The Sopranos". But despite these great points I just couldn't get that bad taste out of my mouth, which was a result of all those damn cliches. Cliched characters, cliched dialogue, cliched plot structure, etc. The film ultimately comes off like a silly cross between THE OUTSIDERS, STREETS OF FIRE (you remember that Greaser movie with Rick Moranis and Wilem Dafoe?), and of course WEST SIDE STORY. I also think there was a small case of miscasting here, I mean with the exception of Matt Dillon and Balthazar Getty what are these guys supposed to be Italian, Irish, what? Anyway the film is only mildly entertaining because of its rather brutal fight scenes. Other than that it just could of been so much better with a couple more rewrites of the script and someone else to play Marco. By the way, I'm really getting sick of these movies that get you all hot and bothered and then fail to deliver the goods.

Fellini Satyricon (1969)

Rome Before Christ. After Mind-Altering Drugs.

[11 April 2002]

In the late 1960's Federico Fellini created one of the most beautiful and at the same time disturbing films ever made. Watching each frame is like gazing into a bizarre painting. I am honestly surprised that Salvador Dali didn't have anything to do with this film. It tells the epic tale of a Roman student's journey through a nightmarish landscape chock full of weird characters and even weirder events. With all the extras, costumes, and set designs, there is so much for the eyes here it is truly unbeleivable. The most disturbing thing I caught about the film is how characters will look into the camera in a frozen stare. It makes you feel as if you are right there. My favorite scene is when Encolpius battles the Minotaur, I don't think I will ever get that chanting out of my head. There is a constant undercurrent of humor that most viewers might not get at first, so you really need to read between the lines. The cinematography is nothing short of perfection thanks to Giuseppe Rotunno accompanied by an always eery music score by Nino Rota. The intense experience you get from this film is unlike anything in film history. Its just one of those great films that shakes you up and leaves you pondering it for hours, days, even years. Its influence can be seen in films like Terry Gilliam's "Time Bandits", "Brazil" and "The Adventures of Baron Munchausen"; as well as the Shakespeare adaptation "Titus" and even the more recent film "The Cell". I recommend Fellini Satyricon for fans of abstract or surreal art and set design who can see past the disturbing plot and appreciate a true masterpiece of cinema.

JFK (1991)

Conspiracy theories aren't that far-fetched after all...

[8 April 2002]

Director Oliver Stone tackles the biggest conspiracy theory of all time in this all-star cast, big budget production. It is not that easy to defend a theory like this, but Stone packs in a great deal of believable evidence to back his claim. The idea that there was more than one individual involved in the assassination of President Kennedy doesn't seem that far off the mark after viewing Stone's three hour plus masterpiece. Kevin Costner brilliantly plays District Attorney Jim Garrison, the only man in history to bring someone to trial for the murder of President Kennedy. The rest of the cast is great, I especially loved Joe Pesci and John Candy - two very different roles than what they were used to. What you may not read on the trivia section for JFK is that Martin Sheen did the voiceover narration for the film, he played President Kennedy in the TV series "Kennedy" and in THE DEAD ZONE he plays a politician that faces an assassination attempt. JFK took two Academy Awards for best cinematography and best editing. These two awards were well deserved as Stone is now notorious for editing black & white sequences with color sequences which blend together beautifully. This film will always be a milestone, in my opinion, in risk-taking cinema. Whether you believe it or not, you have to give the man credit for going against the common ideology and making a bold statement that we don't have to believe everything we hear and we don't have to swallow everything whole, that it is good to question things no matter how tragic they are. "Let the truth be told though the heavens fall."

The Fast and the Furious (2001)

If you are a guy who likes fast cars, look no further...

[2 July 2001]

I think a film like this is fairly unique especially today, because it doesn't beat around the bush, it gives you exactly what you want. And if you are a guy who likes fast cars, look no further. Sure the dialogue is cliched and the plot is amateurish, but who cares! A film like this allows you to forget its flaws as you are so wrapped up in the cars, the women, and the chases. Vin Diesel is great as always, Paul Walker was kind of stiff but then again most cops are. Now I loved Michelle Rodriguez in GIRLFIGHT, but here she was mainly used as eye candy. The chase sequences are some of the best I've ever seen, easily putting films like GONE IN 60 SECONDS and even THE FRENCH CONNECTION to shame. It offers little for women, old people, and those who follow all the traffic laws. But be warned: this film may cause you to drive a little faster and more reckless. Nitrous boosters rock!!!

Vampires (1998)

Let's give credit where credit's due...

[23 June 2001]

Thank God for John Carpenter. At a time when the horror genre is being overrun by teeny bopper horror/comedies (no references needed), parlor trick gimics a la Blair Witch, and countless direct-to-video vomit fests, VAMPIRES was released. Thank God for John Carpenter. Now there is nothing new here, nothing groundbreaking or philisophical, no Oscar candidates or social commentaries, just good clean, wholesome horror.

Disguised as a low-budget gore-fest, VAMPIRES proves to be so much more. The perfected skill and technique of Mr Carpenter oozes through every scene in his 19th project. James Woods, a highly underrated actor, delivers a great performance as Jack Crow the leader of a group of vampire slayers. Something tells me Carpenter originally wanted Kurt Russel for the role, just a hunch. Laura Palmer was also great. Superb horror-effects from legendary Robert Kurtzman and Greg Nicoterro could've made the film a better sequel to the cult-classic FROM DUSK TILL DAWN than the two pathetic sequels we've seen.

The bottom line is that in a day and age when selling out to mainstream horror audiences is the way to go, John Carpenter shows us that he still has the magic. Sure it's not his best or scariest, but for those who enjoy exciting, adventurous horror in a "Tales From the Crypt" vein, you should definitely give it a try. Who knows you might like it. Oh yeah and thank God for John Carpenter.

Memento (2000)

One of the most imaginatively unique films I've seen in a while...

[23 May 2001]

Imagine waking up in the morning and not being able to remember the things you've done or the people you've met. You can make new memories but you know that they will only last for the duration of that day. Such is the problem for Leonard, a man on a mission to solve a mystery that is consistently complicated by his own unique illness. Thats all I'm willing to disclose, the rest needs to be seen and make sure you pay close attention. Newcomer filmmaker Christopher Nolan has given us one the most imaginatively unique films I've seen in a while. Those of you who prefer straightforward Hollywood mainstream films might find a little trouble keeping up. But for those who enjoy mind-boggling, open-ended and totally unpredictable cinema, you definitely might want to check it out. And if you really enjoy it, as did I, then I also suggest taking a first, or second look at TWELVE MONKEYS, FIGHT CLUB, EXISTENZ, RETROACTIVE, DARK CITY, RUN LOLA RUN, and PULP FICTION. By the way, don't answer the phone.

Tigerland (2000)

...could be a sequel to FULL METAL JACKET

[25 April 2001]

I had anticipated seeing this movie since I first heard about it last year, but it wasn't playing at any theaters near me. So I had to patiently wait for it to grace the local video store. I am honestly surprised that a film this good didn't get a wider theatrical release. Director Joel Schumacher has given us a gripping, raw war movie about a group of army soldiers and their experiences on their last stop before being shipped over to Vietnam.

These soldiers, some draftees and some volunteers, are the exact kind of youths that shouldn't even be there. But one of them, a non-conformist in every sense of the word, takes it upon himself to help those who need him. The film really could be a sequel to FULL METAL JACKET, but with a more character driven story, much like COOL HAND LUKE. The truth is you really don't see too many films like this any more. The kind of film that slaps you in the face with its raw intensity. I don't know how realistic this film is because I obviously wasn't there, but there are some damn talented actors here and the writing is top-notch.

Some War film buffs may be turned off by its anti-war undertones, but for those who enjoy the challenge and endurance of the human spirit, it's definitley one to check out.

Perdita Durango (1997)

a contemporary cult classic...

[17 March 2001]

I picked up DANCE WITH THE DEVIL at the local video store, basically because Rosie Perez was on the cover holding a double-barrel shotgun. Need I say more? Okay I will. Originally titled "Perdita Durango" after Rosie's character, this is one twisted, shocking, and absolutely fantastic film. Although a little on the low budget-side, it definitely makes up for it with a killer script and terrific performances from the entire cast. It was based on the novel by Barry Gifford who also co-wrote the screenplay. You might remember him from writing David Lynch's films WILD AT HEART and LOST HIGHWAY. Although Perdita is the main character of the film, there is little known about who she really is and what she is all about. Javier Bardem basically steals the show through his intense performance as Romeo, the devil with the rattlesnake boots. Of course we cannot forget James "Tony Soprano" Gandolfini who delivers a great role as a narcotics detective. Like some kind of twisted cross between NATURAL BORN KILLERS and DESPERADO, this film never lets up from start to finish. It's definitely a contemporary cult classic chock full of violence, sex, drugs, dark humor, voodoo, and......Hey I don't want to give it all away, just see it!!!

Lumière and Company (1995)

A must for film students and film lovers alike...

[17 February 2001]

1995. The 100 year anniversary of the Lumiere Brothers first motion picture. What better way to celebrate this historical event than to gather 40 directors from around the world for a little game. The game? Each director is given access to the original Lumiere motion picture camera and about one minute of film time. Just the idea of these directors, who are used to making two hour films, throwing all their creativity into one minute is worth seeing. The rest is cinematic history. The directors are also asked to comment on why they film and if they think cinema is mortal or not. It would have helped though if they gave each director's film credits because half of them I never even heard of. This documentary gives us film in its purest art form. It's a must for film students and film lovers alike. Some of the best ones I would recommend to check out are John Boorman's, Peter Greenaway's, and of course, David Lynch's. I would have liked to see more American directors showcased like Martin Scorsese, Oliver Stone, Stanley Kubrick, or Francis Ford Coppola. But all in all, it is an engrossing, thoroughly amazing little slice of history. SEE IT!!!

Shogun Assassin (1980)

Choose the sword and you will join me...

[13 February 2001]

I had heard a lot about this movie for quite some time but was never able to get my hands on it. If you have ever listened to The Gza/Genius album "Liquid Swords", it contains several soundbites from the film including the opening commentary by Daigoro(Cub). SHOGUN ASSASSIN is actually a re-released, dubbed version of the first two "Lone Wolf and Cub" films that came out from Japan in the Seventies. When I finally attained a copy of it and watched it, I was comepletely blown away. This has got to be hands down the best samurai/ninja film ever to grace the United States.

Enter Ogami Itto, aka Lone Wolf, a man who served his shogun well as the royal executioner. Until one day when the Shogun killed his wife and framed him, which sent him on a dark path of vengeance. So begins the story of Lone Wolf and Cub, a father and his little boy who travel from place to place as assassins for hire and are always watching out for the Shogun and his ninja army. Anyone who gets in their way are quickly sliced and diced by Lone Wolf's sword and a wooden baby cart rigged with all sorts of crazy weapons.

The action sequences are breathtaking, much like Kurasawa's but with ten times more blood. Blood that doesn't just pour, but spurts everywhere like a hose. Ultimately I couldn't help being moved by the story: a father and his son and their eternal bond in vengeance. This is just one of those cult films that you pray at night about, hoping that someday they re-release it in theaters or make a new film just like it. There are six films total in the "Lone Wolf and Cub" series that are avaible uncut on VHS and hopefully soon, on DVD.

Kung Fu Cult Master (1993)

Takes "new school" kung-fu to another level...

[11 January 2001]

Also released on video as LORD OF WU-TANG, this surreal kung-fu fantasy best suits fans of "new school" kung-fu. It combines dazzling cinematography, insane acrobatics along with nonstop action and an overall surreal almost science-fiction feel to it. Its as if Terry Gilliam attempted a kung-fu flick. Ignore the user comments on the main page: if you simply want Jet Li and his fighting style, pick up THE ENFORCER. But if you desire something a little more over the top, that utilizes creativity and imagination over fighting styles, then pick it up. It really takes "new school" kung-fu to another level. And if you enjoy this rare sub-genre, also check out THE EAST IS RED, TWIN WARRIORS, BLACK MASK, and THE NEW LEGEND OF SHAOLIN.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

...totally caught me off-guard, but in a good way

[18 December 2000]

In this day and age, you really can't help being prejudiced towards holiday films like this one. I went into it very skeptical, thinking it was going to lean a little too much towards the kiddie, cheesy antics that one can easily find from a film such as JINGLE ALL THE WAY. But being the persistent Jim Carrey fan that I am, I ignored my insight and bought a ticket to THE GRINCH.

Thanks to good ol' Richie Cunningham, I was totally amazed at how great the film was. It did a good job of blending dark humor, much like that of Tim Burton, with old fashioned holiday cheer. The dark humor, although very brutal at times, had me aching with laughter throughout the entirety of the film. The surrealness of the world created in the film, along with the various memorable characters, places it among the ranks of other classics such as THE WIZARD OF OZ, WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, and THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

And as for the comic maestro Jim Carrey, his performance sort of resembles that of another green mischief-maker in THE MASK. I'm sure the basis for every critic's approach to this film was to compare it to the original. Bad move. It is an unfair judgement to compare this film to the original especially because it transcends it in so many ways. This film is perfect for all ages and all kinds of people. So ignore the misguided reviews, buy a ticket, and slip into madness with THE GRINCH.

Straight to Hell (1987)

If David Lynch had directed THE WILD BUNCH!!!

[27 August 2000]

Even though I am a huge Alex Cox fan, I still had a large problem with even finding this gem. It is definitely one of the most crazy, funny, and unpredictable films ever made. I kept thinking that if David Lynch had directed THE WILD BUNCH you would have STRAIGHT TO HELL. It is chock full of a rogues gallery of unique and unforgettable characters. Basically a group of renegade criminals flee to a little dump town in the middle of nowhere to hide out for a while. The result is chaos and more chaos as they try to escape the hell they've found. Don't expect any traditional Hollywood storyline or plot here. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. And you might just realize that Quentin Tarantino wasn't that revolutionary after all.

P.S. > Norwood is the man!

Poltergeist (1982)

...prime example of the kind of movies that just aren't made any more

[27 August 2000]

POLTERGEIST is yet another remarkable film from the mind of Steven Spielberg. It belongs in the same class as Spielberg's other excellent projects like JAWS, CLOSE ENCOUNTERS, and E.T. It is not so much the special f/x or what exactly is happening to these people, but rather the human drama in dealing with it. From point A, we are given a typical suburban family in their daily routines. Then, little by little, strange things start happening. So before any ghosts even appear, we have warmed up to this family so much that we are almost a part of it. The combination of the great acting by everyone involved, the often nail-biting direction by Tobe Hooper with the Spielberg touch, and the spectacular use of light and Lucas special f/x, make this movie a prime example of the kind of movies that just aren't made anymore. I hope to God they decide to re-release it in theaters some day.

Scary Movie (2000)

WAAASSSUUP!!!

[16 July 2000]

The Wayans family has from time to time chimed in with a parody of not just one movie, but a whole sub-genre. And they seem to do this when it is most needed. First there was I'M GONNA GIT YOU SUCKA, which basically slammed all the blaxploitation cops & pimps movies of the 70's - for example: SHAFT, DOLEMITE, THE MACK, etc. Then the "In Living Color" series came out and not much was seen from the Wayans in film as far as spoofs are concerned. Then in 1996 they released DON'T BE A MENACE TO SOUTH CENTRAL WHILE DRINKING YOUR JUICE IN THE HOOD. Now again if you know the sub-genre, you will laugh through the whole movie and this time its the depressing early 90's growing up in the ghetto fliks a la BOYZ N THE HOOD, MENACE II SOCIETY and others.

Now I know I'm supposed to be talking about SCARY MOVIE, but that was just a prerequisite. SCARY MOVIE is the funniest movie I've seen in 2000, easily. What better way to put an end to a tired, played-out sub-genre than to totally rip it apart. Now to fully appreciate a film like this, you really have to understand the humor. See the Wayans' style of humor is kind of like THE NAKED GUN meets Russel Simmons' "Def Comedy Jam". And ooh is it funny and at times brutal. I'm not even gonna go into what they spoofed here because I'm sure you've heard it a thousand times. Most memorable scene - the spoof of the "Waasup commercial". Most memorable character - Marlon Wayans as "Shorty". Most memorable cameo - a tie between Squiggy as the principal and Keenon Ivory Wayans in the spoof-trailer for Amistad II. It is one crazy, outrageous film that packs more genius humor in each minute than ROAD TRIP & AMERICAN PIE combined.

Shaft (2000)

He's a bad mutha . . . shut yo mouth!

[21 June 2000]

Well Detective John Shaft is back, and badder than ever! This film seems to be more of a sequel than a remake of the original. Despite its roots, there is something different, new, and fresh about it. Samuel L. Jackson gives a terrific performance as the detective constantly on the edge and who doesn't take any $#!% from anyone. Jackson seems to be giving an encore to his performance as the bad-ass Jules in PULP FICTION here. He even re-uses a line from PULP FICTION when he says, "Now that's some repugnant ----."

The film was directed by the talented John Singleton who you might remember from his other films, BOYZ N THE HOOD, POETIC JUSTICE, HIGHER LEARNING, etc. And although he does a superb job with the material, there seemed to be a great deal of racial undertones that were just unnecessary and really didn't serve much of a purpose. I really would like to hear Singleton's response to this 'cause maybe he could clue me in.

There are numerous appearances and cameos from the industry's finest as well as a surprise guest appearance from the original Shaft, or "Uncle J." Rap star Busta Rhymes turns in an impressive performance in a sort of comedic side-kick role. But the real praise is due to Jeffrey Wright who played the Tony Montana-esque Peoples. You might remember Wright for his lead role in BASQUIAT. I was waiting the whole film for him to scream out a line from SCARFACE, but he didn't.

Either way I hope you go to this movie with an open mind and a good sense of humor. Its a slick action/police drama that trancends its original. The most intense scene in the film is when Peoples taunts Shaft by stabbing his own chest with an ice-pick after his brother was just killed. It will stay with you for a while. ENJOY!!! ...and hey where's Isaac Hayes?