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Osmosis Jones (2001)
It's a very good film, but I have reservations.
Osmosis Jones is one of Warner Bros. several animated films that failed at the box office. Some of those films were very good (The Iron Giant), others completely missed (Quest for Camelot). This one is sort of in the middle for my taste. Let me explain.
I feel the animated portions are fantastic. The city of Frank is gorgeous to look at, and the characters are well developed. The story is also very engaging, energetic, and fast paced. For a few Kid Rock fans, he makes a cameo with his posse in one scene. These parts alone are worth the price of admission. Which brings me to my main criticism...
The live action sequences are boring and uneven. I don't think the audience really cares about the live action scenes. They are obvious filler, they jut out like Excalibur in the stone. These scenes are only crucial at the beginning and towards the end of the movie.
Overall, I liked the animated portions of the movie but could do without the live action.
Ghost Dad (1990)
For a film called Ghost Dad, this was pretty hallow
Well, Bill Cosby's career was going downhill in the 90's. The Simpsons championed The Cosby Show and it looked like Bill Cosby was washed up, and this film proves it. Surely after Leonard Part 6, Cosby would've learned from his mistakes and stayed away from starring, writing, or directing movies. Where do I start? Bill Cosby just can't act. I am sorry Cosby fans but the man CAN'T ACT. The reason he could play Dr. Huxtable on the Cosby show is because that role was based on him. With Ghost Dad, it's completely different. Also, does it surprise you that it took 5 WRITERS to make this film. I mean, GODDAMN! 5 WRITERS! Even with 5 writers, the writing is sloppy. I would also like to point out the horrendous Cinematography/Directing, it is almost as bad as Jingle All the Way. What about the humor? You have your expected Spectral puns and dumb jokes for the WHOLE family. Finally, the story/premise. Basically, it is a cross between Ghost and Full House.
Bottom Line: It is not as bad as Leonard Part 6, but stay away from this movie.
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
Kubrick's Curtain Call and one of the Very Few Films to Change My Life
Kubrick's film career is quite an impressive one. He can do no wrong. Every single movie he has made has gotten largely positive reviews and now withstand the test of time. Even if one of his movies meets with mixed reviews, it later goes on to get largely positive reviews later (The Shining is a prime example). Kubrick has contributed to nearly every genre of film, even comedy (Dr. Strangelove). Now let's talk about Eyes Wide Shut.
This film is often regarded as Kubrick's one mistake. I say otherwise. While I will agree that the film was very long and some scenes were unbearably slow (take the final scene with Tom Cruise and Sydney Pollack for example), the film has some very sincere messages about sexual jealousy, and what it truly means to be committed, the directing is absolutely brilliant, the writing is tremendous. As for the acting, they probably could've done better.
Now one thing that I want to bring up is the controversy over the film's erotic content. Yes, the film is erotic and contains some sex and nudity, it is an erotic movie. However, it is NOT meant to titillate or arouse. The film suffered from a very bad marketing campaign that implied that the film was a sexual exploitation film. This film is sorely misunderstood.
This film actually helped strengthen my relationships and really affected me emotionally, and mentally. I actually felt myself become wiser because of this movie.
Bottom Line: I believe that, if you love Kubrick films, and can sit through a 2 and a 1/2 hour film with a bit of jabber, you will enjoy Kubrick's final masterpiece.
**** and a half out of *****
Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi: Surf's Up/Stupid Cupids/Brat Attack (2004)
It's not bad, but it's not great either.
Hi Hi Puffy Ami Yumi came at a time when my childhood came to a finish and adulthood already has begun. I have seen a couple episodes of the show, which were actually quite decent compared to the $h!t you see nowadays on cartoon network. The show was based on a very popular J-Pop band in Japan who were never popular outside of the country. That is until this show (sort of). The show is about the Misadventures of Ami, Yumi, and their manager, Kaz, traveling everywhere and such. The artwork is simple (a little too simple to the point of white unfinished backgrounds), and the characters actually had some personality (unlike some of the OTHER shows on cartoon network). Bottom Line: Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi was decent. I would rather sit and watch this rather than The Regular Show.
5/10
Batman & Robin (1997)
This movie raped my childhood, and the batman franchise.
What's bad about this movie? Well, whats good about this movie? Nothing. No redeeming values at all. Why? I'll try not to take up all the internet space typing down all these problems:
1. This looks more like an extended scary movie parody than an actual Batman movie.
2. Now, I don't hate Adam West, but making the movie campy was the worst thing you can do. Batman was dark, complex, vigilant. In this one, he's downright lame.
3. The actors/actresses: I'll sum it up for you in a sentence. Clooney is...Clooney, O'Donnel is a b*tch, Thurman overacts, Arnold is....Arnold, and Silverstone is just outright horrible.
4. Batman has a bat credit card. Need I say more?
5. There are way too many puns (mostly related to ice) in this movie. Here's a pun: This movie got ****ed in the ice by Joel Schumaker! HAHAHAHA!
6. The sets and props are really cheap. RUBBER ICICLES!!!
7. Last but not least, the tight suits, complete with bat nipples, are gay (no offense to homosexuals, I have nothing against you). Really Joel, I don't want to see Batman's @ss, it ruins my childhood.
That is why Batman and Robin should be wiped off the face of the universe. In the words of Nostalgia Critic, "{to the tune of supercalafragilisticexpealidocious from Mary Poppins} Here's a film that's so awful, I'd rather have a guy/ Come circumcise me with an ax, poke me in the eye/ I'd rather drink a giant bowl of ape and monkey splooge/ and there's another million things that I would rather do." , "Batman has driven me bat$h!t crazy!"
Die unendliche Geschichte III: Rettung aus Phantasien (1994)
This movie does not exist. There is no NeverEnding Story III. It's a lie. Nothing more, nothing less.
How I wish this movie never existed. So how many things are wrong with nes III? OK, every single problem with this trash's waste makes up one person. We would have the population of China, SQUARED. No, CUBED!!! Why is it bad? Here are a couple reasons why.
1. They turned Falcor into a complete retard. Falcor was supposed to be mystical and wise. In this one however, he is the equivalent of Patrick Star.
2. The rockbiter (or the rockchewer in this crapfest) is nowhere near the same one I know and love from the first movie. He rides on a motorcycle SINGING. In case you're wondering, I'm not joking. Watch it for yourself.
3. The villains are unimaginative. In NES I, the villain was an abstract entity. In II, the villain was in human form. In this one, they're just school bullies. I'm dead serious. Don't believe me? See this movie and watch it for yourself.
4. Inconsistencies. Count the stars. Then square that. That's how many of those you'll find in this movie.
5. Bastian is useless in this movie. He does absolutely nothing to try and help the situation he is in. He doesn't take advantage of the wishes he could be making. Even the NASTIES are more heroes in this movie because they take advantage of what they have.
That's why I want The NeverEnding Story III to never exist. This crap gets a doesn't deserve to be on IMDb, the dictionary, brains, the earth, the galaxy, the universe, and if we have one, GOD. THIS MOVIE DOES NOT EXIST!!!
Titanic - La leggenda continua (2000)
An insult to intelligence, and the people who died on board the ship
Now where do I begin... This is a movie where a mouse tells his grandkids that the people on board the titanic didn't actually die. Oh yeah, and it didn't sink because of an iceberg, it was because of an octopus that was tricked by a gang of sharks that there was an iceberg throwing contest. The Sharks were lead by this bad guy who is going to marry this girl against her will, and somehow this movie is intertwined with saving the whales. The girl has this power where she can talk to animals and somehow the other guy has it too. So the octopus dies while trying to save the ship, and one of the mice dies while tying some wires on his mustache to send to the wireless communicators. With no explanation whatsoever, they survive at the end. What are your thoughts? What were they thinking? Oh, I know! Let's make a movie about 9/11 where no one on the twin towers actually die. In fact, the attacks weren't caused by Osama Bin Laden. It was caused by a camel who wanted to fly a plane which ends up disastrously killing him. We then find out he was tricked by two lizards who wanted to hunt the Galopagos turtles until they went extinct. So a magical talking Hawk saves everyone on the towers who then dies trying to save the last person. So for no reason, the Hawk and the bird happen to survive and they all start singing and dancing completely disregarding the fact that TWO *BEEP* TOWERS JUST COLLAPSED!!! What's wrong with this picture? I'll leave that for you to decide.
Showgirls (1995)
I thought this was a good movie.....to jerk off to.
Showgirls, Showgirls, Showgirls. The Highest grossing NC-17 movie and it was still a bomb. I bought the V.I.P. edition...because it was like a porno. And most of those pornos had silly plots. Showgirls is more like a porno than an actual movie. You pay more attention to the tits than anything else. You don't enjoy the story, you enjoy the tits and the sexual content. That's Showgirls.
Elizabeth Berkely's mainstream career as ruined because of this piece of shat. If you want a good old fashioned porno, get the V.I.P. now. For those who want to enjoy the story, back off. This movie won 8 razzies and was nominated 6.
The story: 4/10. "Special Effects": 20/10 (it was reaaaallly hot).